Any Idea what to do?

spaceman1

welshmoneylover wrote: »

I'm not your mate, nor by the sound of it will I ever be.

I'm a snob, I look down my nose at those unwilling to work *sniff*

Maybe should have put this in but you being a mate was sarcastic i know u may need to look it up and by the looks of it you like to push peeps buttons as you are sounding a little frustrated all i got to say is if you dont have anything constructive to say SHUT UP!! you may live in wales but you mate( sarcastic ) are not Welsh this has gone way off topic

snapping_crocodile

ajones28 wrote: »

Just one question if OP has got to go out to work on a night shift, when does he get to sleep? That would be really sensible having to look after his child/ children when half asleep, during the daytime, because he has been working all night. Nobody would say anything about getting out to work if the OP was the wife, not the husband. I really hope you get something sorted out. It won't help you much right now but you obviously need to ensure that Tax Credits are aware it was only a one-off payment. As for now I think the only option you really have is to see if you can get your wife to do some extra hours at work. I totally agree by the way spaceman1, it is a lot harder being at home looking after a house and children than being out to work.

I dont know about the others, but if the OP was the wife and asking what to do then my advice would still be to get a job to fit around their husbands work. Gender does not come into it. The OP says they are short of cash, the best solution is to get a job.....and I know plenty of people who work night shifts to bring in money and then are not able to sleep becasue they are lookign after their child. They manage by working split nights and having a sleep when their child naps. If you want to support your family, no matter what your gender, there is always something you can do :cool:

AnxiousMum

Male or female, mum or dad - it doesn't matter - when you have children to support - both parents need to do whatever they can to ensure that their children are catered for in terms of every day needs. I wouldn't suggest anybody do anything that I wasn't prepared to do myself, and yes, night shift is an option! When my eldest two were little, my ex husband was starting up a landscaping business. While it did quite well right from the start, there was always the uncertainty of it - so to be certain that we could continue to provide for our children, he worked days, I worked night shift. Granted, it was a little easier as he was self employed, but again, your wife doesn't work full time either - so there is an opportunity for flexibility, if not on all, definitely on most days.

I think we have all grown up now, and realise that both men and women are more than capable of being both the breadwinner, and in your case, the stay at home parent. While that is a pipedream for most of us, it's not always a practical choice as you are finding out.

thorsoak

spaceman1 wrote: »

Hello all i am a full time dad of 2 one almost 5 and other almost 2 my misses works 30hr's and brings home about 12grand a year we were fine untill she had a large pay out in work last year which took her wage up to 20K now our working tax cred has stopped and our child tax cred is about 78 a week i cant claim anything as the misses works over 24hr's now thing's are hard any ideas what we can do?

Simples.:rotfl:Cut down on your expenditure - go to the debt-free wannabe board and do your soa - or do what we always did when we needed extra dosh : find another part-time job - doesn't matter what - which fits in around children/partner's job.

You could even take on a leaflet-drop job ...taking the children with you in the fresh air

kizzy2010

ajones28 wrote: »

Just one question if OP has got to go out to work on a night shift, when does he get to sleep? That would be really sensible having to look after his child/ children when half asleep, during the daytime, because he has been working all night. Nobody would say anything about getting out to work if the OP was the wife, not the husband. I really hope you get something sorted out. It won't help you much right now but you obviously need to ensure that Tax Credits are aware it was only a one-off payment. As for now I think the only option you really have is to see if you can get your wife to do some extra hours at work. I totally agree by the way spaceman1, it is a lot harder being at home looking after a house and children than being out to work.

was just working my way through and this took the words out my mouth. i'm a stay at home mum, my partner works full time (kids step dad). our money is tight but i have said i wont go to work til both are in full time school (lots of personal reasons surrounding that decision). but i would never consider taking night work and then have to look after kids (5 and 3) all day. my sister in law does this, she has a 12 and 11 year old and works 3 full nights a week and it near kills her every week. it is the hardest job in the world, being a full time parent, be it mum or dad. i agree that if op was female, they wouldnt be getting all this criticism.
keep ur chin up mate and i hope all works out in the end

sunnyone

spaceman1 wrote: »

not being funny but would you be saying that if my misses was the one at home and i was working, This is not at you but i am fed up with peeps saying that when a man stays home to look after the kids he's a lay about i can tell you this its much harder to be home with the kids than at work..................

ajones28 wrote: »

Just one question if OP has got to go out to work on a night shift, when does he get to sleep? That would be really sensible having to look after his child/ children when half asleep, during the daytime, because he has been working all night. Nobody would say anything about getting out to work if the OP was the wife, not the husband. I really hope you get something sorted out. It won't help you much right now but you obviously need to ensure that Tax Credits are aware it was only a one-off payment. As for now I think the only option you really have is to see if you can get your wife to do some extra hours at work. I totally agree by the way spaceman1, it is a lot harder being at home looking after a house and children than being out to work.

I went to work when my daughter was 6 weeks old but when the family needs money to live on you do anything (pre tax credits), my husbands building company wasnt doing very well due to the ressession, he costed jobs and other bits and pieces until work picked up and then we worked around each others work hours.

I did nights sometimes and I survived, gender dosnt come into child rearing and if you had looked at threads here about similar subjects you would see that everyone who comes here posting the same thing as you have would get the same advice, get a job around the main bread winners hours or manage on your wifes wages and the very generous child tax credits that you are reciveing.

There are plenty of tips on this site to help you save money, thats all you can do, you working or your wife doing more hours, the state arnt going to top up your income anymore than they already do.

andyandflo

spaceman1 wrote: »

not being funny but would you be saying that if my misses was the one at home and i was working, This is not at you but i am fed up with peeps saying that when a man stays home to look after the kids he's a lay about i can tell you this its much harder to be home with the kids than at work..................

Hey I have every sympathy with you being at home bringing the kids up. Yes it is hard work - harder than going out to work!!!

What I can say and it is what I told my daughter and her husband to do. They both should get a job, she has hers in the daytime and him in the evening. They have about an hour together in the evening at changeover and likewise in the morning. For the past 4 years my daughter has worked a 38 hour week and my son in law works 5 - 12 hour shifts driving taxis.

Every other weekend they spend together.

Would that not solve your problem instead of worrying how much benefit you will/should be getting?

welshmoneylover

andyandflo wrote: »

Would that not solve your problem instead of worrying how much benefit you will/should be getting?

From the sound of it he'd rather wang as much as he can out of the benefits system as he seems to be dodging every post that suggests getting a job

Oldernotwiser

kizzy2010 wrote: »

my sister in law does this, she has a 12 and 11 year old and works 3 full nights a week and it near kills her every week. d

Most 11 and 12 year olds are out of the house for a minimum of 7 hours a day - surely that's plenty of time to catch up with your sleep?

SingleSue

My hubby used to work during the day, he would come home, we would have a (for me) rushed meal together and approx 15 minutes after he came in, I would go to work until quite late at night 3 nights a week.

It worked for us and enabled us to move ourselves out of receiving any benefit top ups.