Thoughts on a single life.

Highview

I've lived alone for all my adult life (although I've been in a relationship for 20 years - we have never moved in together). I love my own space for all the reasons other posters have said. One word of warning though - I had a nasty accident last year, had a major operation and spent a week in hospital. I was then in no position to return to my flat alone as I could not look after myself. My Consultant advised that I needed someone to look after me for a month. Luckily my partner moved in and cared for me. I'm back to living on my own now - but my advice is to maintain ties and hopefully have someone who can commit to this - friends and family may or may not be in a position to drop everything and support you but a true partner comes into their own in this case!

alyth

Highview wrote: »

I've lived alone for all my adult life (although I've been in a relationship for 20 years - we have never moved in together). I love my own space for all the reasons other posters have said. One word of warning though - I had a nasty accident last year, had a major operation and spent a week in hospital. I was then in no position to return to my flat alone as I could not look after myself. My Consultant advised that I needed someone to look after me for a month. Luckily my partner moved in and cared for me. I'm back to living on my own now - but my advice is to maintain ties and hopefully have someone who can commit to this - friends and family may or may not be in a position to drop everything and support you but a true partner comes into their own in this case!

That's something that I have thought about in the past - my family aren't that close enough to me, and whilst I have friends I have no one that I can call on to help me in times of need. I also live in a remote area so, for example, if I broke my leg I would be absolutely scuppered, no way of leaving the house, unable to drive, no one to assist me with shopping, etc.

But I'm not going to get involved with someone so just that there is someone in the background should I need someone, I'll just have to be careful!

jakem_2

bottlebrush wrote: »

I have never lived alone. I met my ex-husband when I was 15, we married at 19 so I went from daughter to wife then mother. After being married for 24 years we parted and I stayed in the house with our three children.

Eight years later they are in the process of leaving home and I have the opportunity to live alone. Part of me is looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet and my own company and meals. Another part of me is dreading the quiet, my own company and meals.

Any thoughts? Did you like it? Do you hate it?

Here's my thoughts on it, I have been married twice, first time 10 years, had 2 kids, when split up with thier dad I was on my own for 17 years :eek: I was never lonely as such as I had the kids, plus I was younger than I am now, so I went out and enjoyed myself.
Married 2nd husband after 17 years of being single, didnt want a man coming into the home when I had my kids there, so when I knew they were ready to fly the nest, then I decided to get married again.

Fast forward 11 years and we have now split, I am on my own, a lot older, 55 now, and my kids have kids, but I love it
I do work when I can as I have health issues, but I get out there, and there is nothing better IMO than coming home knackered from a hard days graft,(sad i know) and just plopping on the sofa, no OH to annoy me, no kids with thier angst lol.
Admittidly I do get lonely, but not for the fact I think I have made a mistake in splitting up with OH, or my kids have left home, but for the fact I would like more contact with my kids, not in your face contact Iykwim, but would like more than the token phone call, or the token visit as they are on thier way to the supermarket, but me being me, I would never let on that this upsets me, they know I am not one to feel sorry for myself, or think life owes me, as I get on with things, but I do get a tad lonley as I would love my kids to at least offer to take me out for lunch, or the cinema, or even go shopping the odd time, or even pop round cause they want to pop round, not because its on the way to pick the kids up, or the shops.
this is what hurts the most, that I feel redundant, and there is a reason behind this but its too long a story to explain.

The point I am making is..... as long as your kids give you thier time, want to come and visit, laugh, joke with you, you will never be lonely.
Men come and go, but your kids are your life, and if you feel that they have no time for you, whether its because of work, or thier family situation, or they just dont think, then IMO that is what makes you lonely.

jakem_2

Filey wrote: »

I divorced a couple of years ago after about 50 (fifty!) years with my ex. Brilliant!! We are still on good terms but not together..

I take my hat off to you, :T what a strong woman you are, you are an inspiration to others who feel that because of thier age they have to stay together.

Steel_2

My husband would like me to add another enjoyable aspect of being single - when he was single he could do a loud parp and get away with it.

brighthair

fantasia322 wrote: »

I think you have to learn to be happy living alone and happy with who you are before you can sucessfully live with with someone else. Dont know its applicable to you though, maybe more for people who have come out of relationships before they move onto a new one,

This ^^^^

I've lived alone for 4 years now and love it. I want a man to shre my life with, not to make my life IYSWIM

LisaLou1982

Im with the others - i LOVE living on my own - when i split up with my ex 5yrs ago, i moved out of the apartment we had together and moved to back to Derby where i was at uni. The first week was very strange as id never lived completely on my own but i love it. Coincidently now, im selling my house as after 4yrs with my current partner, we've decided to move in together and as much as im looking forward to it, im also secretly sad at losing my house!!

Mr.Mulla

I think in every decision or consequence--there are highs and lows. Its a matter of making the most of your situation (if you decide that its the best for you) and accepting that there are really low times in every situation.

Even couples have low times.

pandora205

My life pattern has been similar to OPs and I ended up single with three children after 28 years of marriage. Fast forward ten years to now, I still have the kids though they're no longer young and the eldest is living abroad. I enjoy my time alone though don't get that much of it with the other two (plus friends) around.... and I'm looking forward to the time when the fly the nest.

I'm happy on my own, love my own space and the choices that being single allows. I've been on holiday on my own lots of times, do stuff I love that no-one else does and am so busy with work and studying, that it would be difficult to fit in a relationship even if I wanted one. The exciting part is making my own decisions - choosing my own life path and taking responsibility for myself.

Ladyhawk

newcook wrote: »

Im now kind of dreading the thought of getting into a serious relationship as I love having only me to please doing what I want in my time!

Me too!

I am 30, single and living alone and have been for the last 3 years. I do love it. I love not having to put on any clothes if I don't want to. I love the fact the mess is only mine. And most of all I love being selfish and self centred and self absorbed when I am all alone at home. But having said all of that, I would like to have a man in my life who is not a cat...