Thoughts on a single life.

anna_conda

I like not having to talk after a day at work! I don't think I'd like a whole weekend without it though! I have plenty of people to see and things to do from Friday to Sunday, and I think it is important that you do have things to do then, otherwise it could just become working and being alone.

I sometimes wonder what married couples do do, and what they talk about of an evening! I never argue with myself!

Filey

I divorced a couple of years ago after about 50 (fifty!) years with my ex. Brilliant!! We are still on good terms but not together. However I am still not living alone as a daughter and granddaughter live with me. Fortunately they will probably moving to their own home nearby soon. I love being on my own. Like others have said, there is a lot to be said for closing your front door on the world.

Interestingly quite a few women in my age group, still with their long term spouses, have said how much they envy me. The world seems to be full of partnered/married women (and men) who wish they were single, and single people who wish they were partnered.

bottlebrush

Thank you all for your lovely support! I'm hoping to sell the house and find a place with just one spare room!

irnbruicecream

bottlebrush you have made me think! I have never lived on my own having also been a daughter a wife and then a mother! But nothing lasts forever!
I would hope that although they move out i still have my families support popping in and out whenever but the freedom to do my own things!

I hope you enjoy your new found freedom!

Craftyscholar

alyth wrote: »

I've lived on my own for the last two years since my 15 year relationship broke down, and I can categorically say that I will never ever live with anyone ever again - not even sure I will ever be in a relationship again! I LOVE being on my own! Peace, quiet, tidiness, I can do what I want when I want. I study, I work, I potter about my little cottage, tonight I spent about two hours in the garden pruning then came in, shower, jammies, glass of wine, with no need to consult anyone else if what I am doing is okay with them!

I actually don't get lonely - I'm surrounded by people at work and when I was at college, I love being able to shut the door. Everything in my cottage is all mine, brand new (okay 2 years old!) but it's my personal space and no one will ever invade it - apart from the dog!

You have family so you're situation is different to mine - my family are not close and I have no kids. But I would look on this as your time to live your own life - start/continue with your hobbies, eat what you like, no more having to cook and clear up after your children, take up studying, take up walking, whatever you want to do. Embrass it - all you have to do is look at some of the posts on this site to see that people would give anything for what you have now.

:T:T:T
The best description of the good things about being single I have ever read.
I agree with every word.

It is obvious from many posts on here that many people feel very lonely and isolated in spite of having partners and children.
There is a difference between being single/alone and being lonely.

heretolearn_2

I loved it! I lived alone for about 5 years and it was great. Of course, I also enjoy now living with Mr HtL, but I still like my 'space' at times.

It can get lonely sometimes, there's no denying that, but then I've felt lonely at times when I've lived with people too. It's more about your mood and what's happening in your life than your living arrangements.

As long as you don't turn into a recluse - keep up with friends and so on, it's fab.

The only downside I really had was that I couldn't be bothered to cook much with only me there, so my diet quality went to pot with too many takeaways etc. You need to value yourself and your worth - it IS worth spending an hour preparing a lovely meal just for you.

On the plus side
I could watch all the rubbish TV I liked with no-one moaning or sniggering
You can live very spontaneously as there's no one needing you at 3pm, or to do this, or to do that, for them.
You can decorate however you like. I had a bright red bedroom. Every one thought it was hideous but me!
You can do whatever housework you want when you want. I'd let it degenerate horribly then have a big blitz once a week.
No one gets worried if you are 2 hours late home because you suddenly wanted to do something

piratefairy

Oh I love living on my own, I moved out to uni when i was in first year, then moved back into parent's house in yrs 2 and 3, as it was just about commutable, and student lets we looked at were absolute dives (sorry if that sounds snobbish, but it just didn't make sense for me)..but moving back into parents was a bit odd after a yr of "freedom"..

and then moved out to my own place about 18months ago, which i love..was in a fairly heavy relationship for the first yr or so of that, and whilst i saw him all the time, i know i couldn't have lived with someone else..i love habing my own space, the freedom to make impulsive decisions, and to be in charge of my life..i think it's great!

I now know that whatever happens with relationships, i wouldn't be able to share my space with someone else..

newcook

I didn’t live alone until I was 27 - before that I had lived with parents, then friends, then back to parents, then with ex.
My mom always said the first night is the scariest as its just you and no one else – how right she was!!! Since that first night though, I have never looked back! I love the fact I can get in from work and have what I want for tea, I don’t have to share the remote, I can slob about in my comfys, I don’t have someone nattering down my ear while I am trying to watch a programme, if I want to invite friends around I don’t have to check with anyone first, I can have a lie in of a weekend, I only have to do my washing…. The list is endless!!!!!

Im now kind of dreading the thought of getting into a serious relationship as I love having only me to please doing what I want in my time!

Hermia

I love living on my own. A man would have to be really, REALLY special for me to give up that! It's just lovely being able to do what you want. I think the great thing about living on your own is that you find out what you really want and like. I think so many women compromise so much in families that the things they like are really the things their husband/family likes.

I know quite a lot of women who were married at a young age and then found themselves alone in middle-age after their husbands died or left them. After a period of getting used to it a lot of them have really blossomed. One of my mum's friends was a meek little thing throughout her marriage and has now travelled around Japan and New Zealand on her own. Another has started her own cake-making business. One of my friends has learnt to drive and fix her own car. One started going to beginner's art classes and it turns out she is really talented and she never knew!

Kate78

Hermia wrote: »

I love living on my own. A man would have to be really, REALLY special for me to give up that!

Absolutely! After splitting with my ex and finally getting my own place that's exactly how I feel.

I have found someone who I think is that special, but I'm not ready to give up my independence.... yet!

I don't get why some folks feel the need to rush in to moving in together after a couple of months - you've got plenty of time to argue about whose turn it is to wash the pots later!