Thoughts on a single life.

bottlebrush

I have never lived alone. I met my ex-husband when I was 15, we married at 19 so I went from daughter to wife then mother. After being married for 24 years we parted and I stayed in the house with our three children.

Eight years later they are in the process of leaving home and I have the opportunity to live alone. Part of me is looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet and my own company and meals. Another part of me is dreading the quiet, my own company and meals.

Any thoughts? Did you like it? Do you hate it?

myothercarisaferrari

its great

Not quite the same length of time as you, but I am single after being in and out of relationships for 7 years

Love being able to do what I want without worrying about someone else. Yes I get lonely sometimes but there is always something to do x

Steel_2

I was single for a few years before I met my husband and I loved it.

Being able to come and go as I pleased. Planning my day without taking anyone else into consideration. Naked sunbathing. Man-watching without having anyone else commenting on it. . Knowing the house would be as I left it. Weeing with the bathroom door open

Sheer bliss:D

I almost pouted when I realised hubby was 'the one' and my lifestyle was going to change.

bottlebrush

Yeah - I'm secretly looking forward to it! Like you say leaving it as you find it would be absolute bliss! Not only do I live with three 20 somethings, one of the girlfriends and my mother have keys so even when I get a day off there's always someone around!

alyth

I've lived on my own for the last two years since my 15 year relationship broke down, and I can categorically say that I will never ever live with anyone ever again - not even sure I will ever be in a relationship again! I LOVE being on my own! Peace, quiet, tidiness, I can do what I want when I want. I study, I work, I potter about my little cottage, tonight I spent about two hours in the garden pruning then came in, shower, jammies, glass of wine, with no need to consult anyone else if what I am doing is okay with them!

I actually don't get lonely - I'm surrounded by people at work and when I was at college, I love being able to shut the door. Everything in my cottage is all mine, brand new (okay 2 years old!) but it's my personal space and no one will ever invade it - apart from the dog!

You have family so you're situation is different to mine - my family are not close and I have no kids. But I would look on this as your time to live your own life - start/continue with your hobbies, eat what you like, no more having to cook and clear up after your children, take up studying, take up walking, whatever you want to do. Embrass it - all you have to do is look at some of the posts on this site to see that people would give anything for what you have now.

caeler

You may or not be ready for this but here goes:

http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice/Relationships/34057-Some-things-you-don-t-miss.html

A thread about 'things you don't miss'!

caeler

PS. I am so very happy on my own but it took me 2 years to feel happy and comfortable with my journey. Good Luck on yours.

izzybusy23

Steel wrote: »

I Knowing the house would be as I left it.

I think thats the absolute best.. going out and knowing the house will be as you left it!

Emmzi

I've lived alone for most of my life and I really struggle now with people being in "my space!"

I am sure you will adapt and enjoy cooking what you like, having baths when you like, choosing your own tv programmes, having friends over whenever you want...

It is fab!

anna_conda

I was a single parent from when my kids were 3 and 4. When they both left home (for uni) and I was alone for the first time it actually took me a few months to get used to it. (Truthfully, the first couple of evenings I was very weepy!) I'd sit in the evening and think 'what shall I do now?'. Shopping was difficult - always bought too much or too little. Cooking too - found it hard to bother just for one person. But after that bit I thought it was great. Knew the house would be in the same state when I got home as when I left it in the morning for instance. Didn't matter if I worked late or went for a drink with friends after work. I quite like being alone.

Before I knew it they were both home for holidays and it was a bit irritating! Now my son is living here again after finishing uni, and daughter is home for the summer!

It is a big change for anyone - remember the surprise when you first had a baby and being unprepared. You got used to that, and this is a similar thing - just be aware you'll need a bit of time to adapt.

Have fun!

Bonnie2009

I'm in exactly the same situation - I've been divorced for ten years and have two teenage children. One's at university now and the other will (hopefully) go in September. I'm from a big family and have never lived alone - I found it hard just getting used to having my own room!

On the one hand I really look forward to the house being as I left it (as others have said) but I am very worried about being lonely. I'm going to join a gym and go every night if I'm doing nothing else - just something to get out of the house, really.

One thing I've noticed is that on the nights when my children are out of the house, I tend to talk too much at work the next day - all of my friends are married and I don't think they realise what it's like to not speak to someone from leaving work at 5pm to arriving there at 9am the next day!