Jwil's sorting the debt, the body, the house, the garden and everything else diary!

jwil

Got really annoyed with DH this morning. He can be so negative sometimes it really bugs me. He'll just complain about something rather than trying to solve the problem.

I spend pretty much every moment of every day trying to raise extra money, planning what I will do when I am DF, working out how to cut back my outgoings so I can do the things I want to do, whereas he will just sit there and moan and not be proactive at all. It's so frustrating!

peaceandfreedom

jwil wrote: »

Got really annoyed with DH this morning. He can be so negative sometimes it really bugs me. He'll just complain about something rather than trying to solve the problem.

I spend pretty much every moment of every day trying to raise extra money, planning what I will do when I am DF, working out how to cut back my outgoings so I can do the things I want to do, whereas he will just sit there and moan and not be proactive at all. It's so frustrating!

Mine is similar except he likes to do big sighs and sulk. Yet he always seems to have plenty of money for drinking.

Do you think our OHs were cloned at birth?

jwil

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

Mine is similar except he likes to do big sighs and sulk. Yet he always seems to have plenty of money for drinking.

Do you think our OHs were cloned at birth?

It sounds like it

peaceandfreedom

Hi Jwil and DDFW and everyone

Had a bad night last night - woke up at 4am - that's a terrible time of night to be awake. Tossing and turning worried about EVERYTHING. Thinking about having no decent pension (OH has a reasonable one but I must admit I am thinking we might not still be together). Thinking about how just about everyone I know seems to have more money than us. Wondering about our future. Berating myself for not being more clever with money, for not providing better for our children as they go off to university and out into the world. Just feeling terrible really. Turned on the light to read for a little bit, but that feeling of dread wouldn't go away. I hate nights like that.

Bit better this morning, feeling like there's no point in being down, just need to get on and try to sort things out.

jwil

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

Hi Jwil and DDFW and everyone

Had a bad night last night - woke up at 4am - that's a terrible time of night to be awake. Tossing and turning worried about EVERYTHING. Thinking about having no decent pension (OH has a reasonable one but I must admit I am thinking we might not still be together). Thinking about how just about everyone I know seems to have more money than us. Wondering about our future. Berating myself for not being more clever with money, for not providing better for our children as they go off to university and out into the world. Just feeling terrible really. Turned on the light to read for a little bit, but that feeling of dread wouldn't go away. I hate nights like that.

Bit better this morning, feeling like there's no point in being down, just need to get on and try to sort things out.

Sorry to hear you had a bad night peaceandfreedom, the nights are the worst. Please don't beat yourself up though, I'm sure you've provided really well for your children - with love and support if not as much financially as you would want to. My folks never had money when we were growing up, but I still had a great childhood, and I knew they were always there for me which is far more important.

I know people who's parents just bought them stuff all the time when they were growing up, but never actually 'parented' them. These people have real issues now and struggle to cope properly in real life. It's really made it clear to me, how much more important emotional investment is than financial. If I ever have children I hope I remember that.

It will get better, every pound we pay brings us that little bit closer to freedom, and we will get there!

jwil

I've actually been reasonably productive this week. Paid off another £15 which takes me to £5500 paid off :j It was actually more than that but the rest covered the interest and the £15 is what my balance reduced by.

However, I have also spent on my credit card to get some new clothes as mine were looking awful and not fitting well and falling apart in some cases too! But I have a whole new wardrobe now (that is not as bad as it sounds, I just have a few items that I wear over and over rather than hundreds of clothes) and so will have a good clearout of the old clothes.

I've contacted MBNA and asked them to close that card as it is clear now :j So that will be £9500 of available credit gone :T and I also contacted one of my catalogues and asked them to reduce my credit limit from £3000 to £1000 which they've done already :T. I'm not closing it altogether as I like the clothes from this one, but I only buy a couple of bits at a time usually, so even £1000 is too high really but it will do for now.

I listed 158 books on amazon last night under my new plan, and sold 2 straight away (I obviously didn't price them high enough :rotfl:). Luckily they were only short books so I managed to read them and get them posted today :cool:. That's £9.51 to add to my total now.

I listed 2 items for DH on ebay yesterday and have just noticed it's free listing this weekend. Will relist everything, but doubt I'll get anything new on as we will be out for most of the weekend.

Tomorrow we will be delivering a load of stuff to Dh's brother, so that will clear some space :j

I redeemed £5 amazon from bingoport this week and got a £10 amazon voucher from a survey company today as well, so very happy there.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

peaceandfreedom

jwil wrote: »

Sorry to hear you had a bad night peaceandfreedom, the nights are the worst. Please don't beat yourself up though, I'm sure you've provided really well for your children - with love and support if not as much financially as you would want to. My folks never had money when we were growing up, but I still had a great childhood, and I knew they were always there for me which is far more important.

Same here on the growing-up thing, we were always skint but it didn't really matter to me then. I think it matters to kids more now, they want everything - the phones, games consoles, laptops, clothes. I've given them what I can but I've made clear that they will have to go out and earn money to get themselves more luxuries.

jwil wrote: »

I know people who's parents just bought them stuff all the time when they were growing up, but never actually 'parented' them. These people have real issues now and struggle to cope properly in real life. It's really made it clear to me, how much more important emotional investment is than financial. If I ever have children I hope I remember that.

It will get better, every pound we pay brings us that little bit closer to freedom, and we will get there!

Thanks, Jwil, your words have made me feel much better. There is one thing I can have no regrets over and that's how I've looked after my kids - they are in no doubt at all how much they are loved and treasured and they know I'd do anything for them.

I think I'm going through one of my bad patches where I feel a bit too sorry for myself. I feel jealous of people who are well off, especially those who have done nothing to earn it. I have lots of friends who have little education and have never earned much money themselves, they were just lucky enough to marry a guy who did end up earning loads. They don't wake up every morning wondering how to pay the bills, they don't have to work, if they need something they just buy it without a second thought. Their houses are full of shiny new things with no rooms that 'need doing'.

I know I'm being pathetic and envious and I'm just wallowing in unjustifiable self-pity but it happens sometimes. I have to shake this off because it is so futile. In any case, I've brought most of it on myself (though DH is also useless and completely leaves me to deal with all the stress and the money management).

Sorry, didn't mean to go on for so long, sometimes when you start talking about it on here, it all pours out - like I said before, I never talk about this to anyone else. No-one else knows about the sleepless nights and the constant stress.

Have to try harder to forget about the past and do something to change the future.

DedicatedDFW

Hi Jwil and peaceandfreedom,

Back home and got washing on and cleaned the sides down in the kitchen - though i fear OH has just made another mess in there :eek:

Jwil - wow! Well done on listing so many books - that is fab - and selling 2 straight away :T:T:T

peaceandfreeson ((hugs)) - some very wise words already said by jwil and you must be so proud of the way you have brought up your children Again your words struck a chord with me and i am so sorry to hear of you waking in the early hours with this worry though it is something i understand. I have no pension whatsoever - had one years ago and moved jobs and just about lost everything i'd paid in :mad: then the same happened at the next place i worked at and by the time i went to my next job they had some rule about you having to work there for 2years or something before joining so i never bothered. OH also has no pension to speak of but whereas he will receive an inheritance i will not so one of my ongoing worries is other than not affording things now, how will i afford things when i have (hopefully) stopped working? :eek: Hence the need for a plan now and for the future too :cool: Still lots for me to think about and work out there.

It is good that you can come on here and talk about it and i am one who has been in the same position of comparing myself to others. The important thing is as you say that you are looking to the future. Please keep posting hon - we are all here supporting each other x

Eltee12

Unlurking to say well done Jwil - not far off 50% of your target for 2011.

listing 158 books on Amazon!!????? I thought I was being proactive when I listed another 4

PeaceandFreedom & DedicatedDFW - I feel for you, I know about the sleepless nights, the waking up early, stomach churning etc. I soooooo know about feeling jealous of others who seem to have all the jam and never seem to have to play the 'I'm the sole breadwinner, what'll we do if I get made redundant?' game

I'll stop waffling now, cos just realised this isn't my diary and I was in danger of going off on a big self-pitying rant!

Take care all

El
re-lurks in a puff of smoke

jwil

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

Same here on the growing-up thing, we were always skint but it didn't really matter to me then. I think it matters to kids more now, they want everything - the phones, games consoles, laptops, clothes. I've given them what I can but I've made clear that they will have to go out and earn money to get themselves more luxuries.



Thanks, Jwil, your words have made me feel much better. There is one thing I can have no regrets over and that's how I've looked after my kids - they are in no doubt at all how much they are loved and treasured and they know I'd do anything for them.

I think I'm going through one of my bad patches where I feel a bit too sorry for myself. I feel jealous of people who are well off, especially those who have done nothing to earn it. I have lots of friends who have little education and have never earned much money themselves, they were just lucky enough to marry a guy who did end up earning loads. They don't wake up every morning wondering how to pay the bills, they don't have to work, if they need something they just buy it without a second thought. Their houses are full of shiny new things with no rooms that 'need doing'.

I know I'm being pathetic and envious and I'm just wallowing in unjustifiable self-pity but it happens sometimes. I have to shake this off because it is so futile. In any case, I've brought most of it on myself (though DH is also useless and completely leaves me to deal with all the stress and the money management).

Sorry, didn't mean to go on for so long, sometimes when you start talking about it on here, it all pours out - like I said before, I never talk about this to anyone else. No-one else knows about the sleepless nights and the constant stress.

Have to try harder to forget about the past and do something to change the future.

Hope you are feeling better soon peaceandfreedom. Feel free to vent on here anytime, I don't talk to anyone else either. We're all here for each other.