DMP Mutual Support Thread - Part 7

secretshopper75

Stelly, hi and welcome, I felt guilty every day as I didn't tell my DH as I didn't want him to know that I'd let him down so badly..told him about 1 month before I set up the DMP and I have to say it's the best thing I've ever done...

stelly

Thanks secretshopper.


Thankfully my OH is fully aware of the mess, I'm useless at hiding things.

I feel guilty as the finances have always been my responsibilty and that somehow it's my fault (Oh says it's "our" fault) but it doesn't stop the guilt.

I also feel so stupid that i've let it get to this point .

It's been really hard and i seem to spend my time bursting into tears at the smallest thing and then i get stressed and then I blow everything way out of proportion.

It's a horrible vicious cycle but i can't seem to find any motivation to stop it and it must be horrible for my OH to see me like this all the time.
I used to be such a happy optimistic person and i don't know where that persons gone and how to get it back.

southernbelle

Hi all :wave:

Is there any way I can do a DMP without using the companies? I have written letters to my CC companies asking if they will freeze my interest so the money I pay comes off my total - is this right? I haven't posted them yet.

Thanks :beer:

the_tooth_fairy

stelly wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I posted a thread on Debt-Free and was told to head over here.

My thread is here - clicky.


I'm glad that i called CCCS as I know we can't continue living so close to the edge anymore and that I really need help.

This whole situation is quite overwhelming. I seem to spend every minute thinking about money and everything in my life now seems to revolve around it (or lack of it).

Did you feel guilty that you've let your finances get in such a state?

If we get put on a dmp will this change?

Was it a relief to have someone else helping?

I have about a million questions but I'm finding it hard to put them in to words . So any words of wisdom would be aprecciated.

Stelly xx

Hi Stelly, Welcome! Yes, we have all paid a visit to the Mad House too!
Truth is (I think), that there is only so much madness a person can take, then you start looking for a way out.
The good thing about starting a DMP is that all the worrying about paying those bills is taken away, the payment for that is learning to live within your budget. It is really a huge relief, though.
In one of my earlier posts, I mentioned a book I've been reading. It's called Mind Power by James Borg. I noticed it because when I went into the Library the Librarian was reading it, and recommended it!

The book says not to worry too much about the past, just focus on what's next. There's also some really good tips on dealing with day to day life, and the problems you come across (Don't try to carpet the world, buy a pair of slippers!). As I've said before, I hate 'self help' books, but this was really good, and cheered me up no end.
Stelly, keep in touch, and let us know how you get on. Don't worry about the million questions, that's what we are all here for!
ttf x

the_tooth_fairy

southernbelle wrote: »

Hi all :wave:

Is there any way I can do a DMP without using the companies? I have written letters to my CC companies asking if they will freeze my interest so the money I pay comes off my total - is this right? I haven't posted them yet.

Thanks :beer:

Hello Southernbelle, Welcome to the forum,I'm not sure if you mean a independent DMP or not using fee paying companies. If you are thinking of trying to do it alone, my advice would be at least look at CCS/Payplan websites and do an online evaluation. Interest being frozen is not as simple as it sounds, the C/C companies have to see that you are paying off your debt with every spare penny you have. That's why the official companies send out SOA's so the creditors can see that you aren't kidding, or trying to reduce your interest while still enjoying your previous lifestyle.
Sorry, I didn't mean to be blunt, but there it is.

ttf

southernbelle

Ah OK, I see. So if I send a SoA with my letters, that might be better? And can I include payday loans in with the CCs?

Thanks, bluntness appreciated

jules1973

Hi, I'm new to DMP thread. I have £36,000 worth of debt and have just lost my job. I have got a new one, but reduced wages. My husband has also had overtime cut.
We are struggling every month and only have £350 to pay off debt every month after I did SOA. I have looked at template letter on Debthelpline and was going to offer £25 for each of 13 creditors every month.
One question I have is that we are due a compensation claim payout in next 3-4 months which could pay off all/most of debts. Would you include this fact in the letter?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Twit_Head

Squirrel29 wrote: »

I was defaulted TWICE yesterday by Coop Bank for two overdrafts totally about £500! Bring it on I say!

Loving the attitude!
Seriously, it's better getting them sooner rather than later.
But then are we ever going to want to use credit again, when we have become used to a 'cash only and every penny counts' lifestyle?

'Twitty'

Twit_Head

jules1973 wrote: »

Hi, I'm new to DMP thread. I have £36,000 worth of debt and have just lost my job. I have got a new one, but reduced wages. My husband has also had overtime cut.
We are struggling every month and only have £350 to pay off debt every month after I did SOA. I have looked at template letter on Debthelpline and was going to offer £25 for each of 13 creditors every month.
One question I have is that we are due a compensation claim payout in next 3-4 months which could pay off all/most of debts. Would you include this fact in the letter?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Sorry I'm not able to give you a definative answer to your question.
But my thoughts? -
I'm with the free charity DMP company CCCS. They divide the payments to each creditor on a slightly different proportional basis to the other main free company PayPlan. Not sure if a set amount to each creditor would work for you.
I would suggest you ring either of these companies who will give you sound advice re: your projected payment to clear the debt.
Hope this helps a bit!

'Twitty'

http://www.cccs.co.uk/

http://www.payplan.com/

Twit_Head

the_tooth_fairy wrote: »

In one of my earlier posts, I mentioned a book I've been reading. It's called Mind Power by James Borg. I noticed it because when I went into the Library the Librarian was reading it, and recommended it!

The book says not to worry too much about the past, just focus on what's next. There's also some really good tips on dealing with day to day life, and the problems you come across (Don't try to carpet the world, buy a pair of slippers!). As I've said before, I hate 'self help' books, but this was really good, and cheered me up no end.
Stelly, keep in touch, and let us know how you get on. Don't worry about the million questions, that's what we are all here for!
ttf x

Bl**dy H*ll TF,
I've just spent 60p (swoon!) reserving a book from the library!
'The future is bright - the future is slippers?
Wishing a great weekend to you and all on a DMP.

'Twitty'