Daffy's 'a nice cup of tea cheers you up' diary

Cheery_Daff

Must read that business about paying off student loans again, thinking about it! Mine is about £11000 I think - so even paying off £100 a month over the next year I'd only have paid off £1200. Part of me thinks there's such a temptation to just throw everything at it for the next couple of years and get it paid off completely - there's such a lovely feeling to be able to have *all* of your wages to yourself :rotfl: But part of me remembers what Martin says about it not being worth it and to just let it come out of your salary... Hmmm...

(something else daft to ponder, must remember to stop pondering at some point and get on with some work! Just heading up to the attic again - been working in the kitchen cos it's so cold, but Mr Daffs is working in there now, so I've got tea and hot water bottle and heading up to the attic for a couple of hours...)

Cheery_Daff

Ok, so Martin says no, or, rather more accurately

NO, NO, NO and NO

:rotfl: :rotfl:

However... the pesky mortgage is next on the list of house-related expenses to sort out after Christmas, and it probably IS worth paying that off! Only 4 years left I *think*, and it's only about £280 a month - but I have absolutely NO idea of rates, terms, times, or anything, none of it is in my name (including the house), and I don't even know who it's with :rotfl: So a bit of finding, juggling and sorting out to do first I suspect! :rotfl:

But first - PhD. Really.

makeup

Hello

Another speedy update, I've not thanked everyone as the internet here is slow and takes to reload after each one.

Cheery - fab news on the job offer, I hope that you manage to negotiate something you're happy with soon. And remember working full time for a short period of time isn't that bad - I'm sure the time will fly by!! And you could save up some cash to take some time off completely if you wanted to!

We had another great day as we visited the Monkey temple which sits high aboove Kathmandu. There is a huge white stupa with a gold top that looks amazing and some really lovely buildings, statues etc. This is a tibetan budhist temple so there were lots of monks there. However to get up there was a massive hike up lots of steep steps so good training for the trek.

I'm posting today cos tomorrow morning we fly out to Lukla to start the trek and I doubt I'll get much chance to post.

We had to pack one rucksack between me and my friend with a max 15kg limit!

We had to be really ruthless so for the next two weeks I have, two pairs of trousers, one set thermals, two short sleeve t-shirts, two long sleeve t-shirts, one fleece, one waterproof jacket, one down jacket, 2 sports bras, 4 pairs knickers & 4 pairs socks. I'm going to be so horrible it won't be true!!! Aargh!!!

I had to leave behind my 'chill out' trousers (for wearing in the evening in the lodge) and my gilet, my jumper, my fleece jacket and my pyjamas (gonna wear my thermals...)

Still we worked out we have about 4kg of snacks (chocolate, alpen bars & dried fruit & nut mix) so at least we have something to keep us going!

Our flight back from Lukla to Kathmandu is on 13th November but we might be back earlier. I might be able to post on the trek in some of the bigger villages so I'll see if I can keep you updated.

Am enjoying keeping up on here - sorry not getting a chance to post / read other threads though!

Take care xx

taka

Pension is normally @ 6.35% - until April anyway. (I'm presuming you work at a similar establishment to me... I recognise the random pay amount! :rotfl:) Your estimate is pretty much spot on if £104 student loan has to come off too...

I hope they can work something out so you can do both jobs if thats what you want to do.

Cheery_Daff

Wasn't my estimate Taka, it was from thesalaraycalculator.com! :rotfl: And you're probably right about the pension (daft pay amount indeed! :rotfl: that's universities for you :rotfl:) I just couldn't bear to go to look at the pension documents :rotfl: That might explain why I only get £780 a month now when it says I should get £789 too.

Makeup! How lovely to see you! Wasn't expecting you again so soon Sounds like you're having a fab time, and glad to hear you've prioritised food over clothing :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Must be exciting and quite scary being so close to your trek! Looking forward to hearing all about it! :j :j :j

Karmacat

**waves to makeup**

Cheery, um, not being on the mortgage? I know this was an aside for you, but still ....

Cheery_Daff

It was an aside there, it's not an aside in real life, just don't think I ever got round to posting about it cos it's not that important to me and is on a list for sorting out later Let's have a rainbow style post or it'll get a bit of a drag! :j

Mr Daffs bought this house in 1990 with his (then) girlfriend, with a mortgage that could (sensibly!) be paid with one full time wage, even though they were both working full time. She left, he bought out her half, so he owns it outright. Last girlfriend just paid contribution/rent, she was never on the mortgage, so no issues when she left.

I moved in 3 years ago, and I pay the same 'rent' I paid in the shared house I lived in before. I've never had shared finances with a partner (not even the ones I've lived with) - partly because I've always earned less and was far too fiercely independent to ever feel like I was scrounging off someone and partly because none of them ever felt permanent enough to do it!

When I moved in here, Mr Daffs was working 4 days a week (and had been working full time for the best part of 23 years), and I had a PhD studentship, which then finished, and I was working 2 days a week as a personal assistant. He had rather a lot of savings, I had none. Consequently, I was far more comfortable keeping finances separate as I still wanted quite a tight hold on mine as they were rather inclined to run out of control when I wasn't looking :rotfl: Mr Daffs however never opens bank statements, bills or anything.

We've started the slow progress towards sharing - but it's a drawn out process He gave up his job, and lives now partly from savings (which will last another year or two at current (very) frugal spending levels. He also brings in a bit of money through musical stuff. In the new year, I'll be working full time, and so we're working towards me paying half of all the bills.

HOWEVER - given that none of the damn things have been opened for years, Mr Daffs' ex-ex-girlfriend is still named on some of them (!), there's 4 different types of insurance that nobody knows what they're for, the gas bill was £137 a month :eek: etc - I've said I'm darn well going to sort them all out before I just start paying half willy nilly! :rotfl:

So - I've sorted out gas and electric, swapped suppliers etc. I've sorted out council tax, reclaimed 2 years student discount for me being here, and 2 years single person discount for when Mr Daffs was here alone - so we now have no council tax bill for the next two years I've sorted out my phone - and together we've nearly sorted out Mr Daffs' mobile phone. Still to go is the house phone, internet, all those pesky insurance-related things - and the mortgage.

We've been together 5 years now and it seems pretty certain that we'll stick it out It's also pretty certain that Mr Daffs never has ANY intention of going back to a full time office job, ever So his earning capacity is never going to be huge (although even when his savings run out he'll easily be able to cover his expenses). I, however, now have a pro rata wage of more than his was when he left work after working for 20+ years And I'm right at the bottom of the scale, so lots of room for expansion.

Also, I'm 18 years younger than he is so it's highly likely that his earning potential will go down, and mine will go up.

We are both comfortable with this, and both comfortable with us putting in half of bills etc, and playing by ear if I want to work part time/ either of us wants a year off working at all/whatever. We're very open and communicative about such things, and the LAST thing we want is either of us feeling trapped into working full time while the other one isn't working at all, or either of us being unhappy about what's going on.

So - his view is - it's likely that I'll be earning more for the next few years, and it's likely therefore that I'll be putting in more (in terms of finishing off bits of decorating, plastering ceilings etc - just like he has for the last few years). He doesn't want to feel like he's not contributing anything (I told him not to be so daft), so is going to sort out signing over half the house to me.

I'm having a complete sausage moment over this :rotfl: partly because I'm so independent that I don't want to feel like I've been 'handed' half a house, I feel like I should have to have *suffered* for it :rotfl: Partly because he's already been paying it off for 21 years!

However - we are in it together, this joint project called life. We are both upstanding citizens, all round good eggs, and neither of us are in anyway selfish or ungenerous about money - quite the opposite - we are both more likely to diddle ourselves than each other So that's what's going to happen. Just need to sort out *how*

When that's sorted, since the mortgage is so small, it seems almost daft to not throw everything at it before I get used to being paid full time wages :rotfl: That way, in a couple of years probably, we won't have that as a cost at all, and both of us can be far more flexible in terms of earnings/wages/working etc :j :j

Sorry, that was a huge rambling waffle - but does it make some kind of sense?? Or am I just being daft??

Cheery_Daff

(having just written about how lovely and kind and sensible Mr Daffs is, he's now (very temporarily) in the bad books for stopping me from making a cup of tea! :eek: :eek: Poor thing has been poorly all day, still feeling rotten, and finally dragged himself off the sofa to do musical stuff in the kitchen - I went down for a cuppa, turned the kettle on, and he asked me to turn it back off again because he had to listen to something! I mean, what could POSSIBLY be more important than making a cup of tea??? :eek: I'm afraid I childishly just turned round and came straight back upstairs again :rotfl:)

Karmacat

Thank you! It makes huge amounts of sense .... you've been together quite a while now, you're open and communicative, as you say - and he bought it a fair old while ago, I can understand the journey element in what you describe. And absolutely you want to stop useless money going out!!! Good for you for checking all that stuff out - if his savings would have lasted a year at the old rate, they could well last another few months as well at the new level of outgoings.

You sound like the two of you are real soulmates...

Karmacat

I think you need to stick your tongue out at him :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: