Pregnancy's Best Kept Secrets

Christmasshopper

Thriftylady wrote:

I don't think that this one has been mentioned yet.......

Obviously when you have a C-section, they shave you 'down below'. Thing is, as it was an emergency the midwife just whipped my nightie up and started hacking away with one of those rubbish yellow and white bic razers, you know the ones that don't even shave your legs, nevermind somewhere considerably more, er, hairy.

There is a 13 year gap between my babies, but I had remembered the razor thing. For my second child I decided that I didn't want the indignation of being shaved by a stranger weilding a strange razor, so I would do it myself before I went to the hospital. So I did. I did exactly what the nurse had done the first time. I shaved everything from the waist down. Obviously, at this stage I had to do it by feel rather than by sight, but I felt like I'd done a pretty good job. Just to check, I called my husband for an inspection and he announced that I looked like a plucked chicken!:huh:
When I got to the hospital, the doctor who had seen my bits on a regular basis for weeks before was puzzled. I explained my "strange razor" theory. He burst out laughing and said, " I'd heard they used to do this, but that was before my time. We don't do it these days!":rotfl:

Christmasshopper

ooobedoo wrote:

I am glad it wsn't just me, maybe it was the drugs. /QUOTE]

During an internal examination I told the consultant that he had lovely hands and he should have been a doctor! He replied, " Yes, I would have liked that, but I failed all the exams so I became an obstetrician instead."
The Sister on the ward later told me that no one had ever spoken to him with such irreverance before and it was the first time they had ever heard him make a joke.:T

looby75

Fibabe wrote:

Ok. I'm never having children......:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: !

LOL after all these bad stories I thought that maybe another good one would be in order.

I planned a home birth with my ds. I was advised against a hb because my placenta was very low and they were concerned about complications. so after 36 weeks of planning a hb I had to forget about my birth plans and have a hospital birth.

3 weeks later my waters broke while I was on the loo (nice and clean) I went into hospital where my contractions started and gradually increased with strength and frequency. I had gas and air (the most fun part of being in labour, makes you feel happily drunk without the hang over LOL) but didn't need any other pain relief. I was alert and chatting to my sil and dh between contractions and after about 8 hours from my waters breaking I started to push, about 20 mins later my ds was born.
(ok things got scary for a while then but in the end it was all ok )

No stitches needed and I can even remember what was on the tv in the room when he was born! (big breakfast chart bit and Janet Jackson was no 1!!) By 9pm that same day we were all tucked up in bed at home thinking OMG we have another baby LOL

I'm not posting this to brag or try to be clever but after my dd's birth and all the problems I had there I honestly didn't believe there was such a thing as a good birth (there are 8 years between my kids so that says it all) My ds's birth showed me that for most women it's a fantastic experience, hard work but fantastic all the same.

Please, if you are pg don't scared, for most women it's fine, pg is like a club, you all get to moan about the niggles but you wouldn't leave the club and change the outcome for all the money in the world

Lillibet_2

Christmasshopper wrote:

ooobedoo wrote:

I am glad it wsn't just me, maybe it was the drugs. /QUOTE]

During an internal examination I told the consultant that he had lovely hands and he should have been a doctor! He replied, " Yes, I would have liked that, but I failed all the exams so I became an obstetrician instead."
The Sister on the ward later told me that no one had ever spoken to him with such irreverance before and it was the first time they had ever heard him make a joke.:T

I asked the consultant how many stiches I hdd got, he said he couldn't really say as he had used a running sticth. I told him that was a cop out & to do it properly:p My Hubby was mortified & the consultant looked a bit put out:eek: I blame the drugs:o

Eels100

Christmasshopper wrote:

During an internal examination I told the consultant that he had lovely hands and he should have been a doctor! He replied, " Yes, I would have liked that, but I failed all the exams so I became an obstetrician instead."
The Sister on the ward later told me that no one had ever spoken to him with such irreverance before and it was the first time they had ever heard him make a joke.:T

This made me giggle so much, thank you!

cornbuddy

I have to say I have never laughed so much after reading these threads. People at work are giving me funny looks because the tears are falling!!!!!! I remember so much now, glad I am not having any more.

Thanks everyone

Christmasshopper

Even as I read about floppy bits, flappy bits, jellyfish and gore, hairy bits and scary bits....I still feel broody!

skylight

No matter what "scary tales" we have posted here - giving birth is the best thing ever.

The pain, humiliation (!), hunger, yucky stuff all pales into insignificance when you hold this tiny little newly born (plucked chicken lookalike) babe in your arms. The pain is a fleeting moment that although you never forget, you don't really remember it either (unless you are recounting your tale to others!!)

The only really TRUE secret I think, has already been mentioned - NO-ONE tells you just how important it is to get your pelvic floor back afterwards! It is an essential!

ooobedoo

Ping-Pong balls?????

Thefunkygibbons

TFG checks in

ah, women only thread

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