Pregnancy's Best Kept Secrets

littlelibrarylass

that you can see the midwife stitching you up reflected in the shiny hospital lights.

That they don't let you out until you've weeed and poohed , i lied for my second as it took me hours with the first!

Caz

looby75

hex2 wrote:

My first was a girl even at 36 week scan. Bit shocked when they handed her over and I realised (in the immortal words of nanny in blackadder) that she had a winkle. Not even an especially small one I hasten to add. He must have been shy!
Took me a good few weeks to accept that he wasn't a girl and we hadn't even thought of a boys name.

I found out at my 36 scan my dd#2 was infact ds#1, despite the fact that the bloke who did my 20 week u/s said he was about as certain as he could be that it was a girl, and joked with my dh that he would even bet that months wages on it.....I wish we had taken the bet now.

foreverskint

That sometimes the bag of waters is 'born' before the baby:eek:

I was on my hands and knees and could feel something decending, I thought that it was the baby about to be born! Then, my husband started laughing and commenting that it looked as though I had an inflating baloon coming out of me nether regions :rotfl: Apparently with every contraction a little more of the 'baloon' emerged seeming to inflate. what a sight:rolleyes:
Eventually the midwife decided to 'deflate' it with something, oh but she forgot to put anything down to catch the amniotic fluid, so I spend the rest of my labour soaking wet.

And on the Poo bit, my husband was allowed to deliver the baby under the midwifes supervision, and didn't tell me till afterwards, when I was announcing that I didn't poo, that I had actually and HE had cleared it away:eek: :eek:

Thriftylady

I don't think that this one has been mentioned yet.......

Obviously when you have a C-section, they shave you 'down below'. Thing is, as it was an emergency the midwife just whipped my nightie up and started hacking away with one of those rubbish yellow and white bic razers, you know the ones that don't even shave your legs, nevermind somewhere considerably more, er, hairy. So now, two weeks on, I have a massive bruise from the C-section, an impressive scar, and more ingrowing hairs than I thought any one human could possibly have. Pus-filled lumps, with black hairs growing away under the surface of the skin, dozens of them. Its like a freak show. If I ever have to have a C-section again, I'm going to ask to be exfoliated first, then lathered up with a shaving brush, then shaved with one of those new razors with 5 blades!!;)

Oh, I just keep thinking of more. When you regain feeling in your legs after the spinal block, they take you for a shower. They wrapped one of those massive big absorbent mat things (the ones they make you stand on in the labour ward whilst the waters gush down your legs) between my legs and the midwife walked behind me to the shower room holding it like a nappy, whilst I trailed blood the whole way along the floor. Looked like there had been a murder. Then, because I had lost so much blood at the birth, I wasn't allowed to shower on my own, so I was stripped naked by said midwife, asked to sit on the loo for a while so that the worst of the blood would gush straight in, and then I was sort of hosed down. And heres the biggest secret of all - I didn't even care. The whole labour, birth and next day just felt like one big (agonising!) out of body experience, I look at it now and can't believe that it happened to me !

ooobedoo

I would say don't watch those birth giving programmes........it is not a good advert!

Janepig

ooobedoo wrote:

When I had my CS, I was laying on the bed, unable to feel from my ribs down. I called my DH over and told him that he was going to make me tea and toast and that he was going to do it now....I was a right moody cow just after, and had the most itchy nose for some reason.

Wow, I thought it was just me!!! I had DS by section at 12.30am (last boxing day) and spent the rest of the night lying in bed almost scratching my face off!!! I didn't get any sleep at all.

And on the subject of shaving for sections, I too was butchered with a bic, if DS hadn't arrived five weeks early I'd have done it myself second time around, but with my first, I was still off my face on pethedine while I was being operated on, although I thought I was fine, and had them rolling in the aisles in theatre as they were stitching me up when I said that seeing as I was numb from the chest down, could they give me a brazilian while they were at it!!!! I didn't even remember saying it for two days, the memory suddenly came back to me and I had to check with DH whether I'd really said it. I had!!!

Jxx

ooobedoo

I am glad it wsn't just me, maybe it was the drugs. I had a spinal block.

I had made sure I had something of a 'shaven haven' before I went in, I was kept in a week before they did the cs so the biggest bulkiest razer and little bowl was left on my bed. I looked at my husband and said I wanted him to do it, not a nurse. Picture the scene. The curtains closed, him giving me the 'something for the weekend madam' and then asking the nurse just how much....she said 'every lady is different' I was horrified, full ward so they all knew what we were up to......the shame!!! That was him shaving me by the way, not anything else!!

SmileBeHappy

the idea of having kids is now never entering my mind agen, i'll be adopting

Fibabe

Ok. I'm never having children......:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: !

bargain_babe

No Fibabe, you must - we all want to read your stories about giving birth.

I remember my OH with my 1st DD - the midwife had to actually ask him to move out of the way so they could deliver the baby - he was like David Attenborough having a good old look (you know what I mean!!)

Thanks to everyone telling us their secrets I now know why my feet are a size larger than they used to be - I've always thought it strange but never knew why!