Pregnancy's Best Kept Secrets

alleycat`

Yep ladies you [STRIKE]do[/STRIKE] might poop yourself

But if you are like my wife (water birth) you get to drown your husband with all of the blood, mucus, poop etc, when you decide to move because you are "uncomfortable".

Apart from a very severe set of swearing as the head crowned she managed a 9lb 5oz boy without pain relief.

She felt really good about it until a woman came in 3 hours later and gave birth to a 13lb boy (in 20 minutes) :eek:

The hospital had a "maternity tour" on later that day and they borrowed the 13lber to show the new mums what they had to look forward to..
:rotfl:

Curious_George_2

Agutka wrote: »

:T:T:T Thank you CG, so true, so true, everybody listen to her!

My two lovely friends started talking in whispers during a meal out recently. Is it true that you poop yourself during labour? They asked me, horrified. Bless them, how do you explain to someone that in labour, you just don't care . The next day I sent them the link to this thread... I think they joined a convent just in case :rotfl:.

I dont think i pooped on the table, im pretty sure i didnt....but if i did i was totally unaware of it and nobody else said anything!

Originally Posted by Lillibet
That sex never feels quite the same after a epis....epsio.....oh, a fannyectomy. You know what I mean. And we all know that sex during the first year afterwards is non-existant right? Or is that just us?

sex was the same for me (bloody boring... hence him being the ex! lol)
but i honestly didnt notice any difference... he wasnt brave/stupid enough to say if he could tell... and my lovely OH now doesnt know any different as far as my foof is concerned,

and sorry lillibet, i wanted sex again long before my section scar would allow me :rotfl:

Sami_Bee

Curious_George wrote: »

...
if your really lucky you may not have a "horror" story to tell us, but that would be dissapointing!
ive always believed (and i think ive said before on this thread) what we go through to have these screaming bundles of joy unites us womenfolk and once you have done it you have the certificate that proves you are officially allowed to scare the bejesus out of the next pregnant first timer you see

True, its just like when the new kids started school and you told them there's a ghost in the loos, Mrs x is evil and never look that big kid in the eye coz you'll catch some weird disease

:shhh: don't tell anyone but I'm an 'other' that had un traumatic straight foward labours :silenced:

alleycat` wrote: »

Yep ladies you do poop yourself

the above should say "you might" not you do I certainly didn't poop in either of mine!

alleycat`

Sami_Bee wrote: »

the above should say "you might" not you do I certainly didn't poop in either of mine!

Modified. As you say nothing is absolute but don't be surprised if the midwife got rid of it whilst you weren't looking

feelinggood_2

alleycat` wrote: »

Modified. As you say nothing is absolute but don't be surprised if the midwife got rid of it whilst you weren't looking

I asked the midwife and she said I didn't, but my husband later informed me that I did, so I wonder if it is common for them to fib.

JBD

I pooed on the bed with my 3rd, only because the midwife wouldn't let me go to the toilet in case the baby went down the Ubend. Personally I found it embarrassing. I have to disagree with those who say that they don't care about their dignity in labour. I certainly did and so should the midwife as much as possible[ of course a safe birth is the main priority].

Sami_Bee

alleycat` wrote: »

Modified. As you say nothing is absolute but don't be surprised if the midwife got rid of it whilst you weren't looking

I know I didn't, there is no way on earth my OH would not tease me about it if I did plus my body likes to 'prepare for the birth' by making sure my digestive system is empty IYKWIM :cool:

mumOf2wonderfulkids

alleycat` wrote: »

Yep ladies you [STRIKE]do[/STRIKE] might poop yourself

But if you are like my wife (water birth) you get to drown your husband with all of the blood, mucus, poop etc, when you decide to move because you are "uncomfortable".
i do think we don't really give our guys enough credit ( well mine anyway) he didn't so much as complain whilst i was digging him with my nails ir when he was in the headlock,
although he did get a mouthful when he said whilst i was in full blown labour ''what do you want an epi for, it takes all the fun out of it'' :mad: can't quite repeat my reply
and he did try and make me laugh with DD, my whole left leg went completely numb and i couldnt move it, so he hooked it around his neck so he had a full on view, IYKWIM! and then proceeded to make several wise cracks

Apart from a very severe set of swearing as the head crowned she managed a 9lb 5oz boy without pain relief.

She felt really good about it until a woman came in 3 hours later and gave birth to a 13lb boy (in 20 minutes) :eek: She should still feel really good! my biggest was 7lb5, and i thought i was being murdered!

oh and to the poop thing, yep, each time!

nomnomnom

don't know if anyone else has mentioned this, but no one ever said how uncomfortable it can be all crunched up having an epidural. Plus if they ask you if a student can put the tube in, it can take forever I nearly shouted at them to just let the proper doc do it as I had 2 wriggling babies with their heels in my ribcage. *shudders* just thinking about it....

lola34

Mine had to be that your waters break and then continue to leak with every movement, I remember them breaking with DS2 walking along the hospital corridor, went back to the room changed my pants and the midwife said oh you'll need more than that!!!!! also with DS1 needing stitches, they had to give me anethestic and rember thinking mm where the needle going??? and it wasn't in my arm:eek:
Labour -
midwife -do you need any more pain relief?
me- no I'm fine
.....2 seconds later.....
me- OMG think Im going to die:o then got the gas and air :D:D:D

Happy memories:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: