Knit Your Square to Give Your Share - PART 4

mioliere

Good morning, everyone. We have a busy weekend planned here with an Easter Fayre today, and a vide grenier (car boot sale to you and me!), tomorrow; both are in very pretty little towns, too, so I will be taking my camera. At each event, our local English book lady will be there, along with the farmers from the local pig farm, a Red, White and Blue stall (which sells hard to get things like Cathedral City cheese and proper British chocolate!), and a new business called Spice Sensations that I am sure will help me to part with some money!

The farmer (with our permission of course!) has now put some cows on our building plots and it's lovely to see them there. I took some photos last night but the light was fading and they didn't come out too well, so I shall take some more today. The building plots are right next to the little road that leads to our place; there are two bungalows on the other side of the road which now have a front seat row to watch the cows. Although there are plenty of cows in our corner of France, 'our' little herd brought all the neighbours out to look at them, so they are on their way to becoming celebrities in these parts! A real bonus is that they will help to keep the grass down (the cows, not the neighbours!).

Well, that's the news so far and now I'm off for a shower before DH gets up - he's hoping to build a concrete step at the entrance to one of the stone barns this morning, so he wants to make an early start. While he's doing that, I can get on and make what he now calls his 'Saturday' cake - just a Victoria sponge to you and me!

KathyXX

PurpleTeddyBear

Seraphim - my heart goes out to you today, and to your Dad. Take time and look after yourself too....been there xx

PurpleTeddyBear

I don't know if this is the right time or place to post this...but here we go, it's all a little "me, me, me", but I know you will understand....

*****

Before I start, I just want to say how fabulous you all are, and if I didn't think this was so, I wouldn't feel able to post, but I consider you all friends and I need to get this out so to speak.

Am finding things in general really tough at the moment, and I can feel myself starting to sink - have been there before and determined not to go there again, at least I can now recognise the signs and will talk about things which can only be good.

I am, somehow, really missing Mum. And I mean really missing her - it's her birthday today (23rd) and she would have been 58. She died in August 2007 very suddenly from pancreatic cancer and it flipping hurts, still. Sorry, I know there are others suffering from worse things...

I constantly count my blessings: my gorgeous son, Jacob and his just as gorgeous sister, Scarlett - my hubby who puts up with sooo much - my Dad and my brothers, and my sister -my fabulous Grandma and the rest of the family --- my friends and everything else. I have a roof over my head, a job I enjoy (in the main, but for how much longer I don;t know) and a bundle of other stuff that makes me smile, including you lot....but I am just so sad and upset at the moment.

I know Mum would be proud of me, and Scarlett and Jacob, of how they are growing up and their general fabulousness (is that a word I ask myself?) - and how determined and downright stubborn I can be too.....she always taught me to stand my own ground, and that I could do anything.

My pink grannie squares are a tribute to her - as will be the blanket they are fast becoming. Am proud of me for following it through.

I just wish I could wrap my arms around her once more....and she could give me a cuddle that only Mum could x

So,that's where I am at the moment - I think I just needed to write it down more than anything else.

Thanks everyone for being there,

Much love and big hugs,

Dawn xx

shezmit

Dawn i am here with you hun, i am going through the same. xx i think about mine every minute of the day xxx:sad:

mioliere

Dawn - believe me, I know how bad it hurts, and it will be raw because it's only a short time ago. I am lucky enough to still have my Mum but I lost my Dad 42 years ago, when he was just 38 and I was the eldest at 16. I think about him every single day and I feel his influence constantly - I am very much like he was; he loved music (especially listening to Mario Lanza - I still have all his records), gardening, reading and writing and, above all, his family. You do have wonderful things in your life and you appreciate that, but the loss of a parent is hard to bear. Your poor Mum was the age I am now, and that really makes me think just how young she was. She must have been a wonderful lady because look how lovely you are! You were blessed to have her, and the memories she has left you, along with her part in your own children, will bring comfort as the years go by. Most importantly, talk to your own children about her - I tell mine; they never met my Dad, their grandfather, but I feel they know a little about him. Apparently, you have two deaths - one is the physical one, and the other is when no-one remembers you any more. You and your family will never forget her. I'm sending lots of hugs to you, especially today.

Poor Shezmit lost her Mum only a few short months ago, and she was only 57. I'm sure she'll be along soon to help you make sense of it all. And please, feel free to post at any time - we are all here for you, although we wish we could also be there in person.

KathyXX

Seakay

PurpleTeddyBear - it's totally normal to feel as you do - when we lose someone that important the hurt doesn't really go away it just gets further into the past. Just as it's not disrepectful to the newly deceased to continue to get enjoyment and pleasure and laughter from other aspects of life, so it's not weird to continue to feel sadness at their absence.
It's good to talk, as the ad used to say, and I'm glad that you feel happy to share with us. Hope that you are still able to enjoy Easter with the rest of your lovely family.

chalky_75

I am so glad that we are able,here, to share times of sadness and distress,happiness,celebrations and joy.
Life is such a roller coaster of emotions sometimes it is so hard to find a level emotional platform. What makes us the people we are is a genuine need to express all our emotions.

To have absolute acceptance amongst real friends lets us find places of serenity and peace even when dealing with such sad events and challenging times. This thread has become a place for us all to share and be supported during so many events in our lives.

Purple Teddy Bear -- You being able to express how you feel makes me realise how lucky we all are. We do have each other, genuinely kind,caring people who are so supportive.

I hope your sadness becomes more able to bear. Your Mum.everybody's Mum's hold such a special place in our hearts. Remember she loved you like no other and would want you to live your life with peace and happiness.Your children sound wonderful as does your husband. I went for some counselling when my parents died and one piece of advice I was given when I felt unbearable sadness was to actually say Thank You for all you have done. Thank You for all you have given me. Thank you for such happy memories. It really has helped me over the years even though like you I would give anything to have them back just for a minute.

The gentlest thoughts to you all and lots of love tucked in xxx

sock-knitter

seraphin, so sorry to hear of your mum's death, hugs to you and your dad xxx

sock-knitter

dawn, big hugs to u you, i cant imagaine how you must be feeling, but please remember we are here for you, and pleased that you felt able to share.
the support from everyone on this thread is brilliant
hugs all
shaz xxx

puppetlady

To those of you who are troubled and in distress, I send special loving wishes for you to find peace, acceptance and serenity.

To those of you who offer advice and support, I send thanks for your kindness, compassion and thoughtfulness.

To everyone on this lovely thread, I send blessings this Easter.

Janet x