Student summer benefits - paying rent

Loopy_Girl

But it's not the cancer that's the issue.

It's the fact that she can't get a reconstruction on a breast which was healthy and removed (of which she should be compensated for) that seems to be the stem issue of the depression.

But nothing is worth leaving children without their Mum particularly as they have special needs and she is the main carer.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

But you've been able to start and sustain a relationship since all this happened, and presumably that includes a sex life so you seemed to have got over that hurdle.

And breasts aren't womanhood...they are just lumps of fat and tissue. I have a fair set but if I only had 1 then I wouldn't think I wasn't a woman.

You'd leave your kids because you have one breast? You need to get things into perspective. It's a breast...you are still walking and talking and breathing.

And as for being 'mutilated' and 'assaulted'...lawyers will use any language to get business;)

My bf has never seen me naked nor would I let him as looking in the mirror makes me feel sick.

I just want to feel relatively normal, is that too much too ask for?

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

But it's not the cancer that's the issue.

It's the fact that she can't get a reconstruction on a breast which was healthy and removed (of which she should be compensated for) that seems to be the stem issue of the depression.

But nothing is worth leaving children without their Mum particularly as they have special needs and she is the main carer.

I love my kids too bit's & when i'm feeling rational would never do anything to upset them.

It's the black days when i'm feeling really down, other stuff is going on in my life too when I feel overwhelmed & just want to go to sleep.

I'm not sure whether I take the pills to go to sleep (that's my flight or fight response) or whether I really want to die.

Either way i've never even been offered any counselling & I need some form of therapy to help me cope.

bestpud

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

She thinks I will commit suicide if I don't get it fixed as it impacts my self esteem so much.

I know you don't care but I have 3 children & a family that do care.

Apart from taking my kids on a well deserved holiday & buying a new car I won't touch it.

Wow, that's a therapeutic comment NOT!

Will you feel the need to prove her right if the worst happens? :cool:

Your family care about you and have such a hard time they need a well deserved break, yet you will kill yourself if it doesn't work out for you?

Trouble is, your family is on for the long haul, as you won't want to show any sign of recovery until the claim is settled, will you?

I think it's not just you suffering here but only you can change it.

Welshwoofs

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

I took an overdose in 2007 & 2009 when I was at my lowest but I really don't know what I will do if I don't win.

I don't think I can live the rest of my live looking & feeling the way I do which is a really scary thought.

If you don't mind me saying so, I think you do yourself a disservice.

You've battled cancer and won. It takes strength of character to do that; the sheer force of will to survive and beat the odds. You obviously possess that strength of character and you're obviously proud that you've won the battle, else you wouldn't have chosen the username and avatar you did.

Now it seems to me that someone with such resolve, such inner strength, wouldn't be someone who'd then throw it all away over what is essentially a cosmetic issue.

I certainly believe that if a mistake has been made, you deserve compensation, however I also believe that if you can get in touch with that part of you which loves life and loves herself - the part you used to beat cancer - then you'll be much happier, whether or not what you see as a defect is fixed.

Edit: I'd also add that your psychiatrist needs to be strung up. Opining that you'll kill yourself is neither professional nor helpful in the treatment of her client IMO.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

Welshwoofs wrote: »

If you don't mind me saying so, I think you do yourself a disservice.

You've battled cancer and won. It takes strength of character to do that; the sheer force of will to survive and beat the odds. You obviously possess that strength of character and you're obviously proud that you've won the battle, else you wouldn't have chosen the username and avatar you did.

Now it seems to me that someone with such resolve, such inner strength, wouldn't be someone who'd then throw it all away over what is essentially a cosmetic issue.

I certainly believe that if a mistake has been made, you deserve compensation, however I also believe that if you can get in touch with that part of you which loves life and loves herself - the part you used to beat cancer - then you'll be much happier, whether or not what you see as a defect is fixed.

Edit: I'd also add that your psychiatrist needs to be strung up. Opining that you'll kill yourself is neither professional nor helpful in the treatment of her client IMO.

Thanks, your so right.

I think I just want the hospital to admit they were wrong as they never have.

I'm determined to get some kind of reconstruction done even if I have to get a job to pay for it myself.

My case has been served & they get a month to respond but will probably ask for 3 months extension which takes us up to the end of September so at least it's nearly over.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

bestpud wrote: »

Wow, that's a therapeutic comment NOT!

Will you feel the need to prove her right if the worst happens? :cool:

Your family care about you and have such a hard time they need a well deserved break, yet you will kill yourself if it doesn't work out for you?

Trouble is, your family is on for the long haul, as you won't want to show any sign of recovery until the claim is settled, will you?

I think it's not just you suffering here but only you can change it.

I know it's selfish now whilst i'm feeling level headed but it's the day's when i'm not that scare me.

I don't want to die obviously but I struggle to cope with my emotions when i'm feeling down.

I know I need to be strong for my kids & ive tried my best.

This had been going on for 3 1/2 years & should be over in 4 months so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

bestpud

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

I know it's selfish now whilst i'm feeling level headed but it's the day's when i'm not that scare me.

I don't want to die obviously but I struggle to cope with my emotions when i'm feeling down.

I know I need to be strong for my kids & ive tried my best.

This had been going on for 3 1/2 years & should be over in 4 months so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I understand there will be times when you feel worse, but how will compensation make it 'over'?

You are still going to have surgery to face and you have no idea what the outcome of that will be - it may be great or it may not.

Also, if you have been depressed for many years, I honestly don't believe reconstructive surgery will have the impact you think it will.

Psychotherapy is painful and can take a long time, as you've been told, so it won't be the end when/if you get the money - it will be the start of a long road to recovery.

Of course, if you were 'better' after the surgery, it would seem safe to assume your ill health was the result of the botched operation but you are saying that is not the case.

I'm quite concerned how hung up you are on this one course of action and your optimistic perception of the outcome.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

bestpud wrote: »

I understand there will be times when you feel worse, but how will compensation make it 'over'?

You are still going to have surgery to face and you have no idea what the outcome of that will be - it may be great or it may not.

Also, if you have been depressed for many years, I honestly don't believe reconstructive surgery will have the impact you think it will.

Psychotherapy is painful and can take a long time, as you've been told, so it won't be the end when/if you get the money - it will be the start of a long road to recovery.

Of course, if you were 'better' after the surgery, it would seem safe to assume your ill health was the result of the botched operation but you are saying that is not the case.

I'm quite concerned how hung up you are on this one course of action and your optimistic perception of the outcome.

Your right.

I don't know what the outcome will be & having money won't make me feel any different.

Maybe I am trying to be too optomistic in believing that once I have the money I will be able to find someone to fix me.

I have always had low self esteem which is probably to do with my childhood but I honestly hope there is some kind of therapy that will help me.

I put most of my emptional problems down to the fact I have asperger's but i'm not sure if that is the case or whether it's just my personality.

If I don't win i'm going to be gutted & it won't do my depression any favours.

Maybe a stint in a pyschiatritic hospital will do me good.

I really don't know what the answer is & i'm very scared, I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life.

poet123

sh1305 wrote: »

It doesn't work like that. You don't just get over something like cancer and certainly not if it's left you with problems. (physical and mental)

I think you are confusing my point. BCS said that she was claiming compensation for depression, but that depression had not been caused by her treatment. My point was that either she had depression before (which it seems she had)and therefore cannot claim for that, or the worsening of the depression had been (quite inderstandably imo) caused by the results of the surgery and the issues sirrounding it.

The point being that if you get compensation for medical negligence then benefits paid for illness surrounding the claim are repayable. BCS said that the illness and the benefits are not linked, so therefore benefits are not repayable.

However, reading her posts I cannot see how they are not connected.