lodgers having an affair - advice needed.

Notlob

Options:-

1. Increase their rent to a figure that makes you more relaxed about their nookieness.
2. Vidoe Record their trysts and put on YouTube.
3. Threaten to tell their spouses - might help in achieving option one.

Personally, I think you're upset for being left out; go on, admit it; you're jealous!

Notlob

BitterAndTwisted

Jealous? Unlikely.

Dismayed at having to be an unwilling witness to what should be other people's private business in their own home? Very possibly.

This couple of philanderers should be getting a hotel-room but how to encourage them to get one? I dunno.

celtic_curl

I have had to reply because I'm just amazed at some of the clearly inaccurate accusations being levelled at me. If some of the posters had bothered to read my original post they would know that my problem is not a 'moral' one. I don't want to live with a couple - married, same sex, engaged, or even celibate! This is because I don't want to feel as though I am a spare part in my own home, that if I walk into the living room I might be interrupting a personal converation, or that they are waiting for me to disappear (to my room or out) so that they can get together. Their morality is not a question I've even bothered to ponder. It is not relevant to my situation. I have not 'spied' on them. Their behaviour made me wonder and then a particular event confirmed it.

I'd really prefer it if people could keep their petty moralistic judgements to themselves - about me and my lodgers. I was asking for advice on how to handle the situation. Thanks to all of you who bothered to address my request for advice. Those of you who simply want to rant about morality and what century it is would be better off watching Jeremy Vyle.

celtic_curl

Bouche - yet another one who hasn't bothered to read the original post.

Let me make this clear - I don't rent to couples. I made this clear when I advertised the rooms. I made this clear when I first met the lodgers. i also told them they were welcome to have partners stay on an occasional basis - but if possible I would appreciate advance notice.

My issue is not that they are married.

Valli

tbh OP I quite see what you're saying here. You rent out two rooms to two individuals and have a business relationship with them and they are lodgers in your home, fair enough. Then, if they become a couple under your roof the dynamics change and its not 1v1v1 but 2v1 so to speak...and you start to feel uncomfortable in your home.
So I would give them both notice to quit and find 2 more...

[Deleted User]

If one is leaving shortly will it really be that much of a big issue?

Just have a quiet word with them telling them how you feel about the current situation (of not feeling free to go about as you please in your own home), and reiterate the initial point you made when they moved in of not renting to couples.

Depends how they react to this. If necessary ask one or both to leave early. You are the LL, and it's your home.

jennihen

celtic_curl wrote: »

Bouche - yet another one who hasn't bothered to read the original post.

Let me make this clear - I don't rent to couples. I made this clear when I advertised the rooms. I made this clear when I first met the lodgers. i also told them they were welcome to have partners stay on an occasional basis - but if possible I would appreciate advance notice.

My issue is not that they are married.

I know where you're coming from! I rented my basement to a young girl from work who'd split up with her partner. Within weeks she was going out with one of the managers and, although I liked him as a person, I didn't want to see him outside of work!
I ended up feeling like I was tiptoe-ing around in my own home!
Happily though she moved in with him after a few months and eventually they got married.
I moved house soon after that and they bought a house just opposite me!!!

celtic_curl

At last some sensible replies thanks to recent posters except Bouche who seems to be not understanding. I don't care that they are married I care that I have inadvertantly ended up living with a couple - that is what makes me uncomfortable. It is very different from a lodger having a partner to stay OCCASIONALLY.

As suggested by Domino9 and as I had stated yesterday - I am going to have a chat with both of them next week and see if we can resolve the situation. I really like them both but it is essential that I don't feel awkward in my own home.

Bouche I hope you are finally getting this.

Valli

celtic_curl wrote: »

I have always refused to take couples as lodgers as I don't want to feel uncomfortable or like a spare part in my own home. But this is what I am now starting to feel.

I'm not sure how to handle this. I have no wish to make any moral judgement on their behaviour and they are consenting adults. But I would never allow a lodger to have a partner stay every night nor (as previously stated) would I have a couple. I don't like hearing people sneaking around in the night, and I don't like feeling like I'm intruding in the shared areas of the house.

.

but THIS is what the OP said in post 1...



no judgement being made but never wanted 'a couple in the first place'...

bouche wrote: »

I'd have advertised for singles only in the first place

OP DID! They got together afterwards...

Soubrette

debrag wrote: »

I take it 'gays' are less likely to cheat then?!

Just more unlikely to get two same sex people who happen to both be gay and do decide to cheat.

It was a statistical rather than judgemental observation

Sou