lodgers having an affair - advice needed.

celtic_curl

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to give me their opinion on this. I think maybe I didn't provide enough information as there have been a few potential problems pointed out that could not occur. So for clarity;

The one who is leaving has another job to go to which is based back near their family. This is many hours drive away and there is no chance of them visiting a couple of nights a week.

Both lodgers are on Mon - Fri only contracts with me. They do not have access to the house at weekends.

I had suspected their affair for a couple of weeks but only had my suspicions confirmed a couple of days before I posted this thread - it is not a situation I have allowed to continue for a long time.

They have in all other ways been very good lodgers who are repeatedly considerate, helpful and kind. The fact they are cheating on their partners does not define their entire character.

They are both away this week - spending half term with their families! So I have decided to talk to them both next week.

I will post an update for those who wish to know the outcome and also possibly to ask for further advice if it all goes terribly wrong!!

Thanks again.
CC

bluejake

I am amazed at how judgemental people are. It really is no ones business but their own how they choose to live their lives.

In my view the Landlady should either take their money and mind her own business or get rid of them. I am not sure what is so terrible about adults having sex. The replies in this thread sound like they are from 1910 rather than 2010.

Thank god I don't I do need to be a lodger with a landlord spying on me and wanting to impose her morality onto me. If you are taking in strangers and taking their money then I think a little discretion and willingness to rub along with different kinds people is called for.

I certainly would take a very dim view of any landlord who was spying on me. Certainly be prepared to look for two new lodgers after your little talk with them next week. And remember the next pair of lodgers could be anyone, homosexuals even:eek:, - remember this is 2010 not 1910:). Boot them out for the same reason and you could end up in the papers and being visited by the police.

What a nightmare it must be to be a lodger.

preable

Old_Git wrote: »

ask for a threesome and see if they let you join in

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:hahahahaha

poppysarah

I imagine it doesn't take much spying in a house at night to overhear what you don't want to overhear.

A few comments like "god I slept badly last night - could hear the neighbours at it all night by the sounds of it"
might make them think...

DVardysShadow

bluejake wrote: »

I am amazed at how judgemental people are. It really is no ones business but their own how they choose to live their lives.

In my view the Landlady should either take their money and mind her own business or get rid of them. I am not sure what is so terrible about adults having sex. The replies in this thread sound like they are from 1910 rather than 2010.

Thank god I don't I do need to be a lodger with a landlord spying on me and wanting to impose her morality onto me. If you are taking in strangers and taking their money then I think a little discretion and willingness to rub along with different kinds people is called for.

I certainly would take a very dim view of any landlord who was spying on me. Certainly be prepared to look for two new lodgers after your little talk with them next week. And remember the next pair of lodgers could be anyone, homosexuals even:eek:, - remember this is 2010 not 1910:). Boot them out for the same reason and you could end up in the papers and being visited by the police.

What a nightmare it must be to be a lodger.

While it is not the Landlady's business how they live their lives, it is totally her business as to whether they perform certain aspects of their lives in her house.

What you have written about it not being 1910 is entirely relevant to renting separate premises. But it is irrelevant to lodgers living in the Landlady's own home. This is not a question of morality or of the Landlady imposing her morals on the Lodgers. This is a case of the Lodgers imposing too much of their lives on the Landlady.

RobertoMoir

bluejake wrote: »

I am amazed at how judgemental people are. It really is no ones business but their own how they choose to live their lives.

It's not your business how I choose to live my life but you might surely consider it your business if I did it while on your property.

In my view the Landlady should either take their money and mind her own business or get rid of them. I am not sure what is so terrible about adults having sex.

Not got a lot of time for the moralising aspect myself. Not going to give my opinion on that bit one way or the other, just don't see it as relevant.

The replies in this thread sound like they are from 1910 rather than 2010.

By the way, you're being a bit judgemental here aren't you? I only mention it because you apparently don't like it when people do that.

Thank god I don't I do need to be a lodger with a landlord spying on me and wanting to impose her morality onto me.

Not sure that you need to "spy" very hard to hear someone in the next room going at it hammer and tongs. By the way, you're being a bit judgemental here aren't you? I only mention it because you apparently don't like it when people do that.

If you are taking in strangers and taking their money then I think a little discretion and willingness to rub along with different kinds people is called for.

Quite so. You'll notice the OP asked for advice, as opposed to barging into the room they were using in the middle of the night, preaching at them from a bible while throwing their cases out of the window? Almost discreet and showing a willingness to get opinions on whether or not their thoughts were reasonable, you might say.

I certainly would take a very dim view of any landlord who was spying on me.

Where did the OP say they were spying? By the way, you're being a bit judgemental here aren't you? I only mention it because you apparently don't like it when people do that.

Certainly be prepared to look for two new lodgers after your little talk with them next week.

True

And remember the next pair of lodgers could be anyone, homosexuals even:eek:, - remember this is 2010 not 1910:).

You seem to be saying that if two homosexuals are under one roof they must be about to sleep with one another the moment everyone's back's turned because they just can't help themselves.

No need for that sort of un-enlightened attitude you know. It is 2010, not 1910 you know.

Boot them out for the same reason and you could end up in the papers and being visited by the police.

And I'd be happy to tell them all to get lost, myself, if they were thrown out for breaking a "no sex under my roof" rule. A "no being gay under my roof" rule would be somewhat different and not really defensible in my opinion, but that isn't what the OP said. I'm afraid you'll need a new straw man, sorry, I appear to have broke this one for you.

tabskitten

The answer is obvious!!

Blackmail the pair of them into doing whatever you want........money, friendship, threesome........

Or get some balls and chuck them out if you have a problem with their behaviour

TBeckett100

let them continue their affair, get it out in the open and jack the rent up. They can live their sordid lives and you can earn more £££'s. better the devil you know!

debrag

Norbertsmum wrote: »

I think Sou probably has, that's why they said 'cut down on the chances' and not 'stop' it happening again.

I take it 'gays' are less likely to cheat then?!

MobileSaver

debrag wrote: »

I take it 'gays' are less likely to cheat then?!

No but the poster made no reference to being gay, they referred to "same sex lodgers" which I don't think anyone would dispute are less likely to cheat with each other.