Do you ever wonder...?

kindofagilr

I think you must be spending money somewhere you dont realise, cos your list of outgoings isnt a lot at all, and you must have at least 2k a month coming in.

You can afford a baby, you say you can pay the 5k cc off in a year, well sometimes it takes a few months to get pregnant then you are pregnant for 9 months lol so then the CC will be paid off or nearly paid off

If your combined earnings are 60k or less you will get £21 a week TC (if the tories dont change it) and £20 a week CHB, so thats an extra £164 every 4 weeks, which is more than enough money for a baby, E's milk is £9 I buy one a week, and nappies arent that dear when they are on offers, as for clothes, hit ebay, I have load of designer clothes for E that I bought off ebay, no way I would pay full price for them, he is growing so quick already. Babies dont have to be expensive, it depends on what you buy

I kitted out E's nursery from Ikea, lovely wooden wardrobe, chest of drawers, treasure chest for his toys and a cot bed and that was all under £400

His pram/pushchair was £200

And his fav thing at the minute his playmat was £15

mistrihelen

You sound like you're being sensible, but I'd also agree with the others who've said there's no 'right time' to have a baby, and with your income/outgoings, it should be very manageable, without second jobs. Good luck

I'm having my first in a few weeks, I'm fairly sure our wages our less than yours and we still have a bit of debt (around 5k) but I've done a budget and we should be all right. I've got a lot of second hand baby and maternity stuff and that's helped a lot - once you are pregnant there's loads of advice on these boards you can take in to money save with babies

Oldernotwiser

The OP has give no idea how much maintenance her husband pays for his children, which may well explain the mismatch between their income and their available funds.

kingfisherblue

I haven't read the full thread, but in answer to the question of how people manage to fund so much - credit! When my ex left, I couldn't understand how he could afford new furniture, flat screen TV, new car, etc, especially as he was saying he couldn't afford any maintenance for our kids. When he kept delaying the divorce, I had to take him to court to get him to fill out the financial forms. I then discovered that he had run up debts of £24,000 in three years! This didn't include what he owed in maintenance. His new car was on finance for eight years - and at quite a high interest rate.

When he left me, he had about £300 on his credit card, as his car insurance had just been paid. Within six months, he had over £4000 on his card, as his new partner didn't have a house (or job) and wanted everything brand new.

I might not have much, but nor do I owe anything (apart from my mortgage).

ellissa

Wow, whenever I post on MSE forums, I am always shocked by how many responses are given. I love the diversity of opinion too. Sincerely thank you to you all.

Last night when I posted I was feeling quite sorry for myself so I probably felt things were worse than they are but it's all relative isn't it?! Yes, I know £5K is not much but to me it is huge. When I met hubby he had tens of thousands of debt and for yrs he has worked incredibly hard to pay it all off. I think my feelings now are as a result of feeling like we have been working to live for our whole time together. However, only £5K left and hopefully cleared in a year.

JodyBPM - Yes we are in South East, hence the expense!

sh1305 - yep, got cheapest deals on all the phones/insurance etc. I live my life by Martin's rules, it's the MSE way or no way! We do have small MSE treats every now and then. We work completely opposite hours and never see each other so every 4-6 months or so we take a night off at the weekend and go to a hotel or have a meal but these never cost more than £50 - we use the devere offers and similar.

Lots of comments about food budgets, won't go into details but I do try my best to keep it low. We feed my 2 step-daughters 2-3 days a week when they stay so I think £40 is good.

Travelgran - you are so right about the cost of a family being time not money, I understand this and in a round about sort of way that's what I mean. We're always at work therefore until we can afford to lose the 2nd jobs then I feel we shouldn't entertain TTC. Yes it was a bit of a throw away comment.

Bitsybeans - nail on head! I do find it difficult being financially responsible when our friends are living it up. Not because I want the things they have but because they think we're tight if we don't go on expensive nights out or weekends away etc. You are right about goals too, deep down I know that even if I had lots of money I wouldn't waste it and I will never live off credit (well, maybe just the odd 0%CC for cash flow!)

peachyprice - yes, wouldn't it be lovely not to have to fork out for work gear, petrol etc. Mind you, who am I kidding? I could never allow myself or my family to live off the state. (And, no I'm not saying everyone on benefits abuse the system but let's be fair, our benefits system is messed up!) Once, I was totally bowled over from a comment from DSD. Last yr we were shopping and had mentioned what she might like for 8th bday. She pointed out some uggs (real ones) and OH and I said we didnt think they were suitable for an 8yr old because she would grow out of them and maybe she could get another pair that look similar. We tried to explain that they cost a lot and we didn't have that kind of money to spend on one present alone. To which DSD says, 'it's ok my mum will get them, she earns more money than you two without getting out of bed'! Now HONESTLY, DSD is not a rude child. In fact, when she is with us we are often commended on how she behaves and we enforce the highest standards. I have never, ever, ever, ever in 4 yrs heard her talk like that, using those words, that tone. I'm sure to this day she didn't even know what it meant, she thought she was simply telling us her mum will get them but she's clearly heard that SOMEWHERE. It's true tho, her mum who has never worked a day in her life probably does 'earn' more than us! She's got the stuff to prove it! However, I would never comment on such matters to DSD.

gratefulforhelp - totally right about no time coming with the job. Sadly, I live for my career. I adore what I do and bring it home with me daily (after 10ish hours at 'the office' ). Plus, our opposite working patterns do get me down. Will check out that exam marking site - thanx!

bylromahra - great attitude not giving a stuff about Mrs Living off tick! DSDs don't understand why we don't have the consoles, sky, 50 inch flat screen etc that they have at home.

kindofagilr - yes we have much less than 60K per year! I must be totally naive but I had no idea how much child benefit is. I really don't get it tho, why not just get rid of those benefits, reduce tax and make everyone pay for their own kids?! That's not a dig at you or anyone, could just be indicitive of me not understanding the system. I'm of the opinion that if you can't afford stuff/kids/families then don't have them! Good tip about ikea, will bear that in mind for when time comes!

Oldernotwiser - OH pays 20% of income to CSA plus all the extras like school uniform, school trips, days out when we can afford etc. This will make you laugh, we get a letter from EX asking for £100 (full cost) of school trip with accompanying school letter, which we paid then found out EX got it heavily subsidised as she doesn't work but kept our money and spent it! This was 2 yrs ago. Reading a thread on here about school trips made me think of that example!

So much advice and it is all very welcome. I feel better about things already but will still wait til debt is paid and we can afford to give up 2nd jobs. It's just our way. I agree our outgoings seem little to some of you but that's cos we don't do car finance or other stuff like that. If we ever really need a new car/clothes/holiday etc then we have in the past/would in the future save the money in advance then buy it, even if it took years. I know I'm wierd but my parents taught me that if you want something, you work, save and pay for it yourself. I know it might not always be possible and we may have to take a loan for things in the future but debt truly does terrify me! When I met OH, his debt mortified me. He had no idea about money and how it worked, even to the basics of spend less than you earn. Luckily, he has learnt and his own debt is almost gone. However, I do handle every part of our finances... he can't even get a tenner out of his account without asking first! lol

Sorry for oversized post but wanted to respond to as many as possible
Ells x

MrsE_2

ellissa wrote: »

Wow, whenever I post on MSE forums, I am always shocked by how many responses are given. I love the diversity of opinion too. Sincerely thank you to you all.

Last night when I posted I was feeling quite sorry for myself so I probably felt things were worse than they are but it's all relative isn't it?! Yes, I know £5K is not much but to me it is huge. When I met hubby he had tens of thousands of debt and for yrs he has worked incredibly hard to pay it all off. I think my feelings now are as a result of feeling like we have been working to live for our whole time together. However, only £5K left and hopefully cleared in a year.x

I think we all feel like your post at times.
I know I have.
Seems to be all work & you see others who don't seem to work nearly so hard have it all & you just think......How?

flea72

kindofagilr wrote: »

If your combined earnings are 60k or less you will get £21 a week TC (if the tories dont change it) and £20 a week CHB, so thats an extra £164 every 4 weeks, which is more than enough money for a baby

someone with an income of £60k does not get £21 a week in CTC, they get £4

in the case of the OP, even if their joint income was only £25k, this would still only give them basic rate tax credits of £10 a week

F

kindofagilr

flea72 wrote: »

someone with an income of £60k does not get £21 a week in CTC, they get £4

in the case of the OP, even if their joint income was only £25k, this would still only give them basic rate tax credits of £10 a week

F

Nope your wrong I'm afraid, me and OH earn 34k combined and we get £21 a week TC till E is 1, then it's £10 I believe

And when I worked out the TC for my brother and wife who earn 58k they would get the same as me and OH

So maybe I should have said under 60k

heretolearn_2

OP - your mortgage sounds high to me? Have you looked around for a better deal? Or thought about a cheaper property? We live in the Kent in quite a new house, in a nice area, not the most expensive place but not the cheapest either, large 3 bed, 2 bathroom, 2 reception rooms end terrace and the mortgage is £500 a month. You've either got a massive house, live in a very posh area, or have got a bad mortgage deal!

Indie_Kid

kindofagilr wrote: »

Nope your wrong I'm afraid, me and OH earn 34k combined and we get £21 a week TC till E is 1, then it's £10 I believe

And when I worked out the TC for my brother and wife who earn 58k they would get the same as me and OH

So maybe I should have said under 60k

Yes, there's an extra £545 for the first year.