Do you ever wonder...?

DaisyFlower

Emmzi wrote: »

you can never afford children and then when you have them you cope...

if itnis what you want now, get on with it :-) there is no good time!

There are good times, the OP is right in wanting to clear their debt before trying. Its responsible to look at finances first rather than jumping in with little regard as to how the child will be supported, its one reason the country has so many parents on benefits.

travelgran wrote: »

To get back to the - OP. I'm a bit concerned about your comment that you might need to go back to 2 jobs each to fund the new member of the family. OK, that may just have been a throw-away comment, but the cost of children is not all in cash. It's time, time to care for them, love them, help them, enjoy them and be there for them.
Even with one full-time job that's a pressure.

Yes its not all about money but it is an important part, millions of parents work yet still manage to spend quality time with their children - you can love them, help them, enjoy them and be there for them even when working. You dont stop become a parent because you have a job.

peachyprice wrote: »

Imagine how much more money you would have if you earn the same as you do but didn't have to pay out for daily travel to work, work clothes, food at work, all the extras you pay for yourself for your lessons, it all costs. That's how the couple on benefits make the books balance.

Thats not true for everybody though, our petrol costs to work are minimal, we would have to buy clothes regardless, same goes for taking lunch with us. The only extra I pay is for after school care a few days a week and thats very reasonable. I would be far worse off not working.

OP, you are doing the sensible thing and it shows a good attitude. Don't let what others have get you down, have pride in the fact that you are working hard to set up a good life for your future children. I agree re the people on benefits having more than those that work but they dont usually pay rent/council tax so get lots of disposable money - however I would never swap as its far better to have a good work ethic and to provide for yourself and family. Studies show children who grow up on benefits often simply go on to claim themselves - its not something I would want for my child.

gabyjane

Hi Elissa havent read all the replies but you can have my two penoth anyway!

I was 17 & 19 when i had my 2 children so very young, for various reasons (main one not being able to cope) i only look after my older dd and tbh i feel i deff should have waited although obviously wouldn't chnage them for the world! You do cope when you have children BUT you are right in wanting to clear any debts you have if possible to make life easier on yourself and your future.

I am now 31 and feel if i had another child (which i won't as dh doesn't want them!) i would cope so much better now. We are in our own home and we have well paid jobs which is the same as you and a very good start, BUT i am self employed and although my income is usually very good i can never say never! so in a way it an unreliable income. Your lucky to have a well paid secure job and that's good, your OH again in work which allows you to save.

The reason other people have nice things doesn't mean they are any better off than anyone else, like some others have said it is probably credit etc..nothing to be proud of imo. I have just heard some girl in my local shop boasting about her new £25k credit card that has come through, god help her was all i thought! she will more than likely buy nice things but are they hers? nope. I am really proud to say me and dh have this house due to us saving and working our bums off, the things in it are all ours and we have a good lifestyle. My friend sometimes comments on our nice house and holidays but knows we work 2 jobs each and deserve it and you are the same it's what you do that matters..dont worry about everyone elses sky boxes etc!!

I would pay off as much as you can then work out your childcare arrangements and life if/when the baby is born, being a childminder i know it can be very pricey so think ahead on that as time flys! The rest is the same as before it's when they get older the costs start hitting!

Like the saying goes..if you save for children you would never have them!

Good luck on whatever you do x

pebbles88

MrsE wrote: »

I'm going to scan my shoppings lists in here!!!!

I spend at least £40 PP PW on "shopping". I popped into M&S last night & spent about £25 & then into Asda & spent about £35 (stocking up on some bargains - Kellogues fruit & fibre & stuff) & I havn't done my main weekly shop yet:eek:
I don't do that every week, but I happened to be in a Town that had both so I popped in to grab the M&S dine in deal & stock up on some offers in Asda (tuna, cereal, dried herbs & spices, etc).

I don't buy ready meals, I even bake my own bread.
How do others spend so little or are we just very greedy:o

EEkk!!

My Budget for the 2 of us is £120 max per month... I wish i had £40 pp pw!!!

But before anyone shouts at me I know everyone is different on what they consider essential!!

PS - Mrs E - can i come for tea one night!! LOL xx

MrsE_2

pebbles88 wrote: »

EEkk!!

My Budget for the 2 of us is £120 max per month... I wish i had £40 pp pw!!!

But before anyone shouts at me I know everyone is different on what they consider essential!!

PS - Mrs E - can i come for tea one night!! LOL xx

I wish I could eat well & spend less.

I think I'm a canny shopper, but we still spend more than many on here.

Which makes me think perhaps we are just glutons:o

gratefulforhelp_2

ellissa wrote: »

Sorry, should have said, I'm a teacher working full time at a school and tutoring at the weekends!

Partly I think the feeling of having no time comes from the job (I'm a teacher too) and the fact that you seem to be working when he isn't and v.v? In the spirit of generating more cash to throw at the debt, have you considered exam marking? *examinerrecruitment.org*

Has anyone suggested you post your statement of affairs on the DFW board for advice?

As for these other people, you never know what goes on in other people's lives unless you live with them (and sometimes not then!) maybe these people's lifestyles are all fur coat and no knickers (literally!) or maybe its debt. Maybe you're too intelligent to spend money just for the look of it?

We do have generous maternity benefits, have you looked into that? And if the babe is due September, you can go on maternity leave on the first day of the autumn term and return to work on the first day of the summer holiday ~(in effect a year off) while losing only 9 months of normal wage.

Good luck with what you decide.

bylromarha

OP - Just want to echo Marie's message.

We started trying for kids after I completed NQT year - didn't fall pregnant for over 2 years, by this point I was Key Stage manager and used to the salary, and had just committed to buying a brand new convertable as "I can't keep saving all this money for a baby we're never going to have" when the Clearblue line appeared.

I quit teaching all together, so no mat pay. I went back 1 day a week when DS was 1 year old...then happy accident DD appeared on the scene.

So I didn't go back for another 3 years. Have just done some 1:1 which has been a help. We have the sort of profession it's easy to go back to.

Financially, there have been hard times - OH is self employed and his salary dipped below £9k one year, and we still coped fine.

But I agree, looking around you can get jealous looking at other people with their hi tech things, but it soon passes when I look at my wonderful kids and think about the life lessons I'm teaching them instead. And how they can still watch programmes on the CRT TV channeled through the FreeSat and how my kids enjoy playing on my Free Samsung touch screen phone at £4 pm (with cashback) and how they think the 10 year old Playstation is cool to play on. And how I love my life right now and don't give a stuff really about Mrs Living on Tick next door.

Soubrette

MrsE wrote: »

I wish I could eat well & spend less.

I think I'm a canny shopper, but we still spend more than many on here.

Which makes me think perhaps we are just glutons:o

More gourmets

(having heard what you put on your homemade pizzas

Sou

MrsE_2

Soubrette wrote: »

More gourmets

(having heard what you put on your homemade pizzas

Sou

Next time I'm using a quarter of a jar:o:rotfl:

Newly_retired

I work for CAB and frankly I am horrified ( never say so of course) at the debts some clients come in with, because they wanted to fund an extravagant lifestyle.
£105K for one couple last week.
So your £5k is small in comparison. You have a great attitude in my opinion, wanting to get your debt down and live within your means.
I won't quote figures because it is so long ago, but when I got pregnant I had already given up a teaching job ( moved house for husband's work) and our income dropped hugely as he earned half what I did. We didn't have any debts, but didn't really think too much about the cost of having children. We managed, somehow, and I cannot say that lack of money made us unhappy.

Oldernotwiser

MrsE wrote: »

I wish I could eat well & spend less.

I think I'm a canny shopper, but we still spend more than many on here.

Which makes me think perhaps we are just glutons:o

You may be like me when shopping. When we were working I would buy bargains and reductions but I did it to balance out with the luxuries that I also bought! I could easily spend £80 per week for the two of us, particularly if it was a hectic time of year and I needed to buy things like chops and steak which needed minimal cooking.

Now we're not at work and there's more time, I spend far less and try to manage on £50 per week, to include wine.