operation recovery

elantan

so i am going to have a clear out of some books at least ... and i am going to have a run on my treadmill .... didnt make tai chi last night as i was shattered ... i came in from a walk at 4.45 went straight to my bed ... slept till about 8.30 got up for an hour or so ... hubby massaged my legs ... then i went back to bed and fell sound asleep .... slept till 11.30am this morning i was so shattered

so today i am going to spend some time in the garden get some of those weeds picked ... then maybe plant my garlic ... this is the thing as well (my goodness life cant get so silly and complicated sometimes) the garlic needs planted just now .... but it wont be ready till about april may time ... is it worth my while planting it ... anyway sort out the poly tunnel (its looking good) and tidy the garden .... maybe do some housework as well

taxi73

Looks like you've made your deciscion and I'm with others in the getting prepared stage as well.you are right you need to look after you.Hugs...

elantan

thanks taxi ... you take it easy mrs .... i think tbh the decision will be made for me .... am still on the working out what i want and what my options are phase ... but i have time just now to slowly work out what is right for me ....

taxi73

absolutely right ...

boredofbeingathome

I agree with what Hypno has said El, i definitely think that is the route to go down. x

Karmacat

I agree with what people have said about doing it now, El - why would you wait till January to live the sort of life you want to live? If you want to live in a less cluttered way, without things around you that you don't need, then get decluttering now, absolutely - you know how much time I took to declutter, and I gave away *loads* when I got here that I'd have sold if I'd had the time.

You can't wait for your OH to sort his life out - and that means going ahead with the way you want to live, absolutely. He may manage to accompany you on that journey - you sound like you'd love it if he were to do that - but your life is *your* journey, not his.

The other thing is about the debts, and the house, and whose share is what - like hypno, if you're taking on more of the debts, then you get more of whatever the equity is, even if its a tenner.

And its a good idea to get out into the garden, in the fresh air for a bit - and to get onto the Up Your Income board as well - little by little gets us *so* much further forward.

(((((((((El))))))))))


KC
xx

ZTD

elantan wrote: »

hubby and i split last week but i allowed myself to be given till january to see if he can get control of his drinking .... you never know a miracle may happen .... but it hasnt happened in the last 5-6 years so i have no reason to believe it will happen now .... i can stay with the way things are ... and live with an alcoholic and slowly watch him kill himself or i can look after me.... hmmmm it isnt really a hard choice tbh

On the assumption he stopped drinking on the 31st December - would there be enough feeling left between you both for you to continue?

:grouphug:

elantan

No z that's part of what I said .... He has to be making the effort from the start I am not allowing Him to think that he can start dec 31st

He is trying just now and he is waiting on a waiting list for councelling but he has to see it through and he has to be making the effort ... I also did say he didn't have to be totally in control of it all .... But he HAS to be making the effort

elantan

ZTD wrote: »

On the assumption he stopped drinking on the 31st December - would there be enough feeling left between you both for you to continue?

:grouphug:

I also have to admit I don't honestly know how I will feel .... I do know he is behaving rather silly just not ( not all drink related either. ) but I do know u can't just turn off emotions and I know that I do love him and I would love to spend the rest of my life with him ..... But that may all change

ZTD

elantan wrote: »

I also have to admit I don't honestly know how I will feel .... I do know he is behaving rather silly just not ( not all drink related either. ) but I do know u can't just turn off emotions and I know that I do love him and I would love to spend the rest of my life with him ..... But that may all change

How is he being silly? (the non-addiction bits)