interfering mother issues

ticklepenny_2

my mum is quite the same, I only visit 2 times a year. However my MIL is permanently pestering me and OH to get married like now this very muinute.... despite us having decided that we want to get marrried next year, she wants us married now. I just keep reminding her and my mum "Its my life and I am happy." and if the push me when I have PMT "What is so wrong with your life that you have to interfere with mine" Keeps them quiet for a while, but I am only brave enough with hormones on my side lol.

RAS

Tygermoth wrote: »

It will be sly comments about my weight,
hints about not getting younger
and having babies
then we will move on to jibes about being unmarried.

How about several tactics

1. Have a range of comments ready about your mother on areas about which you know she is sensitive, preferably unrelated to her comments about you?

If you know she is sensitive about going grey, how nicely the dye covers it?

2. the stroppy teenager reponse

And.......?
So.........?

3. Since you know the snides, work out either a really cutter as sooz suggests or another response.

if she says anything to your response, say very simply and plainly

Mother, I am fed up with your comments. I think it would be better in future if I did not visit you.

red_devil

gonzo127 wrote: »

you could possibly take a slightly different approach to answering, depending on how open your mum is about these sort of things you could respond with something like this

the babies comments
reply - i just dont want to have children as i really enjoy the fact me and OH can have some mad rampent sex when ever and where ever we desire

the younger comments
reply - yes i know isnt it great me and OH have learnt so much about what each other like in bed over the years i do always wonder what else we will find out we like especially when you look at some of the toys you can buy

the weight comments
reply - well other half doesnt seem to have any problems with it and we havent broken any furniture yet however the other day i thought we might break the coffee table...

anyways you get the idea, unfortunatly my parents have always been very open about sex and things like that so comments like that would not make them uncomfortable however i know of so many other parents who would just want to earth to swollow them if their 'children' came out with comments of that sort

funny post:D

nkb74

OMG! my mum has a double! I just nod and say "yes mum, ok mum, whatever you think is best mum" etc, and after a while she says "you're not listening to me are you?" i say "no mum i'm not" then she leaves me alone.

My sisters find it hilarious and she is less snipey with me than with them. Try a similar "not listening/not interested" in you picking apart my life line.

Good luck, I lived with the sniping (is that how you spell it?) for years before trying this and now it really doesn't seem so bad, she gets it off her chest I ignore it and then we get on with life.

gonzo127

red_devil wrote: »

funny post:D

thank you, i did say it was a slighty different approach to the answers and they would make some people very uncomfortable so might work depending on her mum

ClareEmily

We have actually been trying for 6 years to fall pregnant and we had my mum telling everyone "I'm never going to be a granny" and she gave me a crystal cradle, she also talked endlessy about her neighbours grandchildren and that I should go over and meet them...

Even though she knew we were having trouble getting pregnant she would still ask why I hadn't fallen yet.

THEN I fall pregnant and she has shown no interest at all.

OP you have my sympathies, some people don't realise that they harp on and on about the same subject, next time say that it upsets you that she can't accept the life you are living.

shellsuit

Why would you want to spend time with someone who makes you feel like !!!!!!?

I wouldn't care if it were my Mother, if she criticised everything I/we did, we just wouldn't visit.

Life is too short to have to smile through gritted teeth and pretend all is OK.

Either have it out with her and tell her her behaviour is not welcome, or don't go.

katieclampet

Can't you make it a very brief visit, stay for the day, or overnight? It might make it easier to put up with the hassle, if you feel you dont want to confront her, or say anything.

katiex

diable

diable

get some ear defenders or just tell her her its only a matter of time until you can get your own back ;p