Cost v's number of children

helpafriend

ailuro2 wrote:

the NHS will pay for her to get them untied.

She is actually having it done privately, so would this still be true if she did change her mind?

I am sure they could afford to have it reversed privately, so it does not really matter I suppose.

nearlyrich

I am one of 6 my dad got another job if we didn't have enough money to feed and clothe us, there was no help from the government in the form of tax credits. I think people should take responsibility for their children and not just expect more and more cash for reproducing, no-one gets a payrise for having a baby do they?

I also think it's down to the individual how many children they have or don't have, I feel lucky that I have 2 children and they are a boy and a girl but I don't think I am selfish for not having a housefull.

helpafriend

krisskross wrote:

after re-reading i have decided that this is a wind up. Please OP tell me it is and you don't honestly think this.

My point is EVERYONE worries about money. Even my sister on her comfortable income. Why should money worries stop us enjoying a family?

If everyone waited till they could afford children, no one would have any.

Norma_Desmond

I think you hit the nail on the head Krisskross - DH and I are childless by choice and have a fantastic, happy and fulfilled life. HOWEVER if Hubby was to lose his job we'd have no chance of getting any help or benefits even tho' we've paid into 'the system' all our adult lives. We're not rich by any means but if seems if you've got kids AND the selfish attitude of Helpafriend, then you're pretty much financially sorted for life. I think this'll be my last post on the subject as I'm absolutely fuming!

wigginsmum

Agreed, Norma.

Helpafriend - you're a disgrace. Shame on you. I just hope your children get some decent values from somewhere before it's too late.

helen_vasey

there is no right or wrong with this subject, I probably am selfish, we chose just to have one child, she is now 16, has everything she needs, including plenty of friends. I look at my sil, she is 2 years younger than me with 2 boys of 4 and 7, she has another 14 years bringing her boys up whereas I feel that, at 40, we have started a new life, we are going away as a couple for the first time in 16 years and it feels great ( till we get back to a trashed house!). my neighbour has just had her third child with a gap of 10 years, the thought of doing that terrifies me! it's horses for courses at the end of the day. one thing I don't understand ,though, is why women on benefits choose to keep on breeding, it can't be easy.

alanalea

Personally i've decided that i'm not going to have any more children and i've only got one daughter My husband has got 2 older boys (15 & 16) from his first marriage, one of which lives with us. We don't have a lot of money (like most) but she really does want for nothing even though she is just 14 months and we do not even claim tax credits.

If I could have my tubes tied I would because i'm that definate that I don't want any more. The only reason with not having then tied is because my doctor refuses to refer me due to my age (22)

The reasons for not wanting any more are: We want to live a different lifestyle by selling our house and moving onto our bus next year. I want to have a life when i'm older- work, travel etc.

I think that it would be irresposible for me to have another child because it's the 'norm'. Also we would not be able to afford it: I do not want to start living of the state becuase I have had another child out of choice!

I love my sister dearly, but she has 5 children. That was her choice and because of it her husband works every hour god sends to keep them supported. They have massive debts and a massive mortgage. Thier relationship has been suffering because they don't get any time to see each other. I would personally not have my husband work 6 days a week to support more children, i'd rather see him!

llh189

I haven't read all the posts yet, I couldn't wait to get to the end to post my views.

I am sorry Helpafriend but I think that your attitude is awful, I don't agree that children should be bought up spoiled but surely every parent wants more for their children than they had, and just carrying on having kids and expecting your tax credits for fund them is appalling.

When I was in a longterm relationship we put of having a baby because of financial reasons, at no point did we ever discuss what benefits we would get, it simply didn't play a part in our discussions. We sadly decided that we couldn't afford to have a child and then I'm afraid we did break up, and I know in my heart that it was the best thing as I now really struggle on my own, I know that relying on hardworking tax payers isn't the answer.

I think that if more people thought like your sister and about the longterm effects of their decisions that this country would be a lot better off. I am by no means saying that people on low incomes shoudn't have a family but it is people with your attitude that gives single mums and low income families a bad name! You should really be ashamed with your attitude.

dlb

Can i just say, i have 4 children and one step son, my husband use to be on a very good wage over £35k a year when we had our first children.

He has never been out of work in his life but got made redundant and now only earns around £9.5k a year, this is now toped up by tax credits, we chose to have another child whilst on tax credits, i didnt claim them for a long while as i did know i could.

I do think alot of peoples comments aren`t nice, is it my fault that tax credits are available, why shouldnt i claim them if im intitled to them? My husband and i have worked hard all our life and never have been out of work, he is always on the look out for a better job with more money but as yet he will have to stick to being a caretaker!! YES THATS RIGHT HE CLEANS LOO`S TO KEEP HIS KIDS!

All of my kids are none the worst for `living off tax credit top ups` and if he does get a better job that pays more then i will still feel that people on tax credits derserve them, not everyone can get a `good paying job no matter how hard they try`!

Sorry but this thread really got my goat!

wigginsmum

"I have told her about our debt problems and she thinks I am worrying over nothing for a £10k debt. However, although managable at the monent, it won't be if I keep on spending and don't do something about it now."

Helpafriend - this is from your other thread about your friend with 4 kids and debt problems. I can't believe you're genuinely planning on getting pregnant again, given your situation.

The Government doesn't give tax credits so no-brainers can get repeatedly knocked up; it just doesn't want existing kids to starve because their parents don't provide for them.