Cost v's number of children

wigginsmum

helpafriend wrote:

I just see so many miserable people, especially women. When I do go on a rare night our, there are so many drunk women, probably escaping from the fact they have ignored their maternal instinct for so long.

You know, their misery may well have absolutely nothing to do with children or lack of. There is far more to life than being a mother, but you really seem incapable of appreciating that.

I have absolutely no issue with large families where the parents support them. I have a major problem with scroungers.

Norma_Desmond

Here, Here Wigginsmum! And as for you Helpafriend, how dare you comment on how other people (including your sister) want to spend their lives? Oops sorry, I'm being selfish now, not wanting a big percentage of my hard-earned tax going on yet another irresponsible baby-maker! :mad:

teb_2

Wow! You are amazing! I had no idea there were people who were able to have such insight into other peoples' lives just by looking at them.

(Might be an idea to take a step back and re-read what you've written just to see if maybe you can see how you are coming across?) You are NO expert on the subject no matter how strong your views are, maybe try to realise not everyone holds your views?)

In fact I find I'm actually really angry that part of the tax I pay goes towards helping someone like yourself who is more concerned with making babies than she is financing them. Good luck with the discussion, I'm out.

ailuro2

maybe they have been trying without success and she feels inadequate that her sister seems able to have kids with little effort, and doesn't want to make you feel guilty.7 years is a long time,after all.

Maybe they have just decided to make the most of the child they have and give her everything that perhaps they never had. Or maybe they see you 'getting by' on tax credits and would not like to live like that.?

What age is your sis? Could be she is at a higher risk age for having a child that would need extra looking after and she isn't prepared to do that.? Hence a reason to get her tubes tied.
I'd not push her too hard on this, because either way may lead to trouble.
Yes, we need a new generation, but we don't need a new generation brought up on tax credits/benefits either- I mean no disrespect to you when I say this, but it is something I feel we need to take into account.At least you have someone in the household who is working for a living, it's the ones that don't that get me started.:mad:

comping_cat

I dont see anything wrong in someone making a choice to only have one child, or not have any at all, as it is better to be happy with how you are than just having children for the sake of it (for want of any better words!!!)
However, if someone wants lots of children, again there is nothing wrong with that either. Thats what makes everyone an individual, our choices and if everyone was the same it would be a boring old world, full of families with 2.4 children!!!!!

krisskross

helpafriend wrote:

This also bothers me. My niece is such a lovely girl, she would make a fab big sister. My sister is also a good mum. It is such a waste.

Women are not just baby making machines, motherhood is not the only career open to us any more.

The birth rate in the UK is falling in in the middle classes mostly. I guess because they are earning too much to get any benefits and therefore only have the children they can afford.

helpafriend

ailuro2 wrote:

What age is your sis? Could be she is at a higher risk age for having a child that would need extra looking after and she isn't prepared to do that.? Hence a reason to get her tubes tied.

She is 28. This is another reason why I am worried. What if her biological clock kicks in at 30, 35?

ailuro2

the NHS will pay for her to get them untied.

krisskross

helpafriend wrote:

I felt life she is having a dig at me as I have made no secret of the fact I would like a large family. We have 2 now and are trying for another. My husband only earns £13k, but we get tax credits and get by. I don’t worry too much about how we are going to feed and clothe them as my tax credits go up every time we have a baby. We are in debt, but are working hard to reduce this. I don’t see why money worries should stop us having as many children as we like.

after re-reading i have decided that this is a wind up. Please OP tell me it is and you don't honestly think this.

rosielx

I wasn't sure about having any children but in the end I decided to have a baby now before I got to 35. In my case it a good job that I did because my appendix burst and formed an abcess scaring my fallopian tubes. I was lucky to carry her to 34 weeks but I would not have another baby now even if id did want one.