need fathers permission to change childs surname?

mirrorimage0

i done my sons name couple of yrs ago i believe it was this one i used http://www.deedpoll.org.uk/ it was easy to do and cost me £30 i think, he wanted to take my husbands name, his father had not been around for years and i just stated this on the forms i think (sorry it was a while ago) why dont you just drop the name when filling in forms etc

tarajayne

If your son was born after Dec 2003 the father has parental rights so you need his permission. You may be able to go to court but you would need a solicitor. This was how it was explained to me by a solicitor 4 years ago. Maybe try Citizens Advice. X

xxChellexx

Thanks I'll have a look, I do drop the name when it comes to forms- school dentist etc.... but when it comes to legal things passport etc- the irritating 'sperm donors' name is there and it really gets to me lol! It doesn't deserve to be there.... thanks for that I'll have a look on that site.
Thanks tarajayne- yes he was born in 2004, just think its unfair if I have to get consent from him as he hasnt bothered for the past 5 years. x

Ziggazee

For what it's worth, my son has his fathers surname (we'd been together 10 years when he was born) and although he left when he was four months and has had no contact since it's never crossed my mind to change his name. That's the name he was given at birth and that's that. I don't agree with parents constantly changing children's names. What happens in the future if you meet someone else and get married, will you want to change your son's surname again?

pinkclouds

Another way of looking at it is: your son will always be his father's child and you'll see it every time you look at his face. Maybe it's best not to go down the route of wanting to eradicate all traces of the man. After all, when he's older he can call himself whatever he likes and may decide neither of your surnames is right for him!

xxChellexx

I'm not looking to constantly change my childs name! Hes been known as my surname only since 1 or 2 years old- I want it to be official. Its a double barrel name and I would like his part of it dropped, I asked for help not to be dictated to the way I see it is his dad hasnt seen him for basically all of his life so therefore he does not deserve to have any part of his name there. When I look at him its not a constant reminder..... and no I won't change his name again as I don't want to ever get married, and in the unlikely event of that happening I would keep him as my surname!

Ziggazee

Sorry, but I can't see one thread on here where people are "dictating". You asked for advice, you got it. People have the right to their own opinion. If you don't like that perhaps you should ask for advice elsewhere.

In all fairness, you can't say you don't ever want to get married, you may feel that now but you never know what's around the corner. Suppose you did, and your partner had children with the same name as him, are you saying that you would all have the family name and your son would be the odd one out? Think about it.

Mrs_Imp

So you are trying to remove any trace of the child's father? Maybe he hasn't been around for the past however many years, but you do need to be careful that your child doesn't start to resent you for removing his link to his father. It's his name, and probably his only tangible link to a father he doesn't know. At this stage it would be better to wait a few years and let the child decide if he wants to keep the link or whether he wants to change it and remove the link.

xxChellexx

I asked for advice on how to do this not personal opinions- you don't know any personal background on the situation! I do have another child, who has her fathers last name and we've been together 5 years now- and i seriously don't believe in marriage, and before someone says it- NO I wouldn't change her last name if me and her father split as its a totally different situation and hes been there from day 1, also been there since my son was young! I don't understand why everyone seems to be against what I want to do with regards to dropping my sons last name?? Like I said I asked for advice- and a big thanks to those who gave it x

Ziggazee

No, I don't know any personal background, nor am I interested. I do know however, as I stated, despite my son's father not being in his life, not supporting him, etc, I don't feel it right to go ahead and change the name he was given on his Birth Certificate. If you go ahead with this, what are you going to tell your son when he's older (and sees his birth certificate and change of name deed) and he realises that you made that decision to change his name? How will you explain that you felt you had the right to do this? Will you tell him that you did it because "the irritating sperm donor's name" was there and it really got to you, or that you felt he did not "deserve" to have any part of his name there?
Despite what has happened between yourself and your ex, and despite the fact he chooses not to see his son, your son has a right to know his father and he may well choose to do this once he reaches adulthood. I just can't help but feel that your actions now may well come back and bite you on the bottom in future. Mrs Imp is correct in that you need to be very careful your son doesn't resent you for doing this in the future.