need fathers permission to change childs surname?

missm29

i've just found out today on facebook that my ex-sister in law is getting married today (oddly its the same day she married my brother, i'm sure) turns out shes marrying one of my old school friends cousins....anyway i had a snoop through photos and i'm pretty certain shes changed or is going to officially once married my nephews surname....would she need the fathers permission to do this? and theres lots of holiday photos, did she not need the father to sign the passport form?

Sadly theres no contact, although she gets quite a sum of money each month, more than he legally needs to pay.

Soubrette

AFAIK if they were married when your nephew was born then your brother automatically has parental rights whatever the age of the child and yes she does need to get permission. However if this permission just means a letter signed by your brother then who is to know if it's a forgery? If he really does not want his son's name changed then he needs get a solicitor involved and make sure that the ex knows he does not give permission.

I have just renewed my children's passports and there is no mention of their father having to sign anything though. However certainly when the girls were younger and we visited family in Canada the girls were quizzed on whether their Dad had knowledge of the visit and they would have preferred a letter saying this. Obviously if there is no contact then this probably isn't an issue.

Fair play to him paying maintenance with no access though - I hope his son appreciates this when he is older.

Sou

bdt1

I changed my 2 sons surnames without their father's permission, did it through solicitor, so all legal etc. I didn't know where their father was/is living so no way of contacting him to ask for permission, so solicitor went ahead with it on those grounds.

Strangely enough several years later when CSA wrote to him, he quizzed them about the children's surname change, he challenged it with CSA, and for CSA purposes only they are called by their original surname - he wasn't bothered enough to get in touch with them

So, yes you can do it

shell_542

Anyone could lie and say they don't know where a person is anymore. If the parent were on the birth certificate, I would hope the official channels would do something more than just taking the person's word for it. They should at least try to trace the person with the details they have. (Obviously I only mean in the cases where they need permission as the father has PR)

OP, could your ex SIL be using an assumed name for the children. Just using a different surname for most things as you can do, without having it officially changed?

paulofessex

A father also has PR if a baby was born after December 1st 2003 (when a new law was introduced) and is named as the father on the birth certificate.

Found the following here

6. Changing a child's name without the consent of an absent father whose whereabouts is known
To change your child's name by Deed Poll where the whereabouts of an absent parent (with parental responsibility) is known, we will need either the absent parent's consent or a court order, which gives the court's permission to change your child's name without the absent father's consent. The only exception to this is where a mother wishes to change her child's name from the father's name where there is reported violence against the mother or abuse of the children by the father or where the father is in prison for a serious offence. Examples of situations where we will accept a Deed Poll application from a mother in such circumstances are:

• The mother has fled the family home to escape violence or abuse from the father and is at risk or fearful of being located.
• The mother is fearful of contacting the father because of past violence and abuse towards her or her children.
• The father is in prison for a serious offence such as murder, rape or other sexual offence and the mother and children do not wish to be associated by name to the father.
• Where there is a court order in force for no contact.

Feline_friendly

I changed my kids surname to mine by declaration and as i wasnt married to their dad but my kids were born in the 90's

I know of a few kids that are known by a differant surname..usually mum's or mum's new married name..but for official things the legal name is still used...for example in school and passports. I have had to show the declaration form at those times as well as the birth certificate showing the original name.

alwaysonthego_2

MOVING THREADS FOR BETTER RESPONSES


Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere(please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

peachyprice

I don't have any experience of the name change thing. But my eldest two have always had passports and have travelled extensively with me, my 2nd husband and our DD for many years. Not once have we ever been asked if they are my chikdren or if I have their fathers permission to take them out of the country, and vice versa when they have been away with their dad.

ellay864

Re the passport thing there's been another thread recently (on the overseas travel page I think) about taking kids to counties without both parents. It seems it has been a problem in some countries (eg Mexico) but may be more relaxed now. Will see if I can find that

ellay864

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2484069

This is the thread - never posted a link to another thread before so hope it works lol

ballsonyournose

think you answered your own question - key word being "father". But its complicated yer?
If the kids are old enough, perhaps they can give some input. Of course things become alot simpler if the new family has the same surnames...nhs, school etc etc.