I Don't Have Kids Why Pay For Someone Else's?

tinktinktinkerbell

blue_monkey wrote: »

The Dad could be dead for you all know - selfish !!!!. Maybe not in this case but he could be. He could have become disabled too. You should not be qo quick to pass judgment.

You cannot choose to move into a FAMILY home so the mum loses her benefits and then refuse to help out with the kids.

if the real dad is dead then the kids are the mothers responsibility, if hes disabled then he can still pay for them

ShugMonkey

Sounds like she's going from having 2 kids to caring for 3.

malibusami86

appauled at the assumptions and attitudes of the mse'ers here. even if you dont agree with this bloke's concerns who the hell gives you the right to preach to someone you dont know??? idiots!! Get a hobby or a job and forget bout his 'selfishness' as you put it

Just because he would be moving in with gf, doesnt make him their stepdad, talking about jumping the gun, marrying the mum would make him stepdad. Your gonna scare him out of his relationship, all he did was ask a question about the legalities of finance.

Your slating his commitment to them and you havent got a clue about him at all.

I do say this to the OP though, by moving it you will be expected to become part of her family, and although i understand your 'their not my kids' thing, they are your gf's and you should want to help her take care of them.

Good luck with it all. It cant be an easy situation and i too would have financial concerns about safeguarding my own future incase things went wrong.

tinktinktinkerbell

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

Actually that is not strictly true, as an active step father he could apply and get access, especially if there are further siblings.

The fact still remains, he wants to move in with "baggage" he has to man up an accept it, if he can't don't do it, it's not that hard.

and if they arnt married? he gets no rights to those kids yet hes supposed to pay for them

tinkerbell28

malibusami86 wrote: »

appauled at the assumptions and attitudes of the mse'ers here. even if you dont agree with this bloke's concerns who the hell gives you the right to preach to someone you dont know??? idiots!! Get a hobby or a job and forget bout his 'selfishness' as you put it

.

Irony.

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

and if they arnt married? he gets no rights to those kids yet hes supposed to pay for them

If he can't accept the fact he will have to pay towards the childrens everyday costs, such as food, clothing, fuel, school etc, then he shouldn't be moving into a ready made family and the sacrifices having children brings to your purse, it's really simple.

dmg24

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

and if they arnt married? he gets no rights to those kids yet hes supposed to pay for them

You can gain PR without being married.

tinktinktinkerbell

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

Irony.


If he can't accept the fact he will have to pay towards the childrens everyday costs, such as food, clothing, fuel, school etc, then he shouldn't be moving into a ready made family and the sacrifices having children brings to your purse, it's really simple.

he doesnt have to at all

dmg24 wrote: »

You can gain PR without being married.

if you adopt the kids aye, thats what my mates husband had to do with her oldest (the youngest is his) but then doesnt the real dad have to agree to waver all parental rights?

tinkerbell28

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

he doesnt have to at all




if you adopt the kids aye, thats what my mates husband had to do with her oldest (the youngest is his) but then doesnt the real dad have to agree to waver all parental rights?

No he can walk away........you don't have to adopt to get PR and no the dad does not always have to waive PR either.

dmg24

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

he doesnt have to at all




if you adopt the kids aye, thats what my mates husband had to do with her oldest (the youngest is his) but then doesnt the real dad have to agree to waver all parental rights?

Wrong again - you can gain PR without adoption, and the biological father still has rights.

(Spookily identical crosspost!)

tinktinktinkerbell

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

No he can walk away........you don't have to adopt to get PR and no the dad does not always have to waive PR either.

or he could not pay for something thats not his