Neighbours hate children!

hollykate

Thanks everyone for your replies - will try not to worry and let the kids play.
:j

gravitytolls

McKneff wrote: »

Have a barbecue and invite her and her OH.
You never know, it might just be the start, an olive branch may work.

If not, you can always say you tried.

Life really is too short, I should know.

If she's in her 60's you would think she would realise this,

Not necessarily. Our old neighbours couldn't abide children, or dogs. Bizarrely, though we'd been there for several years, and they only lived three doors away, they decided to move next door to us and rent out their other house. This they did to ensure nobody with dogs or children moved in, as the previous owners had two dogs which barked and annoyed them.

Anyhoo, they complained about everything, we had an enormous garden, and in a rural area we were often out and about anyway. They thought we were the family from hell, the dogs played in the garden, the children played ball, trampolined, had friends and neighbours to visit ~ nothing more than any other family.

We were considerate, never played loud music, notified neighbours if we planned a 'do' or bonfire etc.

They complained about the trees blocking their view, so we trimmed them, had a huge bonfire and invited all the neighbours. They came, broke bread with us, drank wine, met our friends etc.

Made no difference, with me blowing my top at the woman when she said my 15 yr old was mentally !!!!!! as he couldn't kick a football in a straight line.

DH had a word with her, she complained that the children playing was spoiling her chicken dinner. He told her that he worked 6 days a week, and that she was spoiling the one day off he had to spend with his family with her incessant complaining. She wept and told him she and her DH met in a children's home, they didnt have children of their own as they didn't feel they knew how to love them, never having been loved or wanted.:(

Yep, dead sad. Till one day I bumped into next door but one in the library van. Lovely couple, kind and decent. Both retried and one of them was deaf. She said every time they put the TV on, our shared neighbour hammered on the wall ~ they were attached, we weren't and had some 40 between us and them. In her opinion she had a screw loose and disliked everyone.

Moral of the story ~ some people are nutters.

Your garden, your children, your home. Don't let one awful woman spoil it for you ~ maybe you should grow some tall reeds or something at the area she likes to watch you from. Don't bother with tit for tat, but ignoring her is easier said than done, so if you can bloick her out in any way, you should go with that. You'll still feel her staring, I daresay, but with practice you can hopefully learn to pretend she's not there. Just remember, she's a wicked old woman for making you feel so miserable, everyone has a right to happiness, children most of all.

Melonade

It's your home and garden, you've paid for/paying for it so get out there and use the garden, let the kids do their thing and enjoy it I'm teliing you if it were me and I'd put my money into the house like you have I'd be enjoying every penny I'd spent.

If you worry about how it's affecting her then you'll make yourself miserable about it. Kids make noise, washing needs to go on the line to dry and people like sitting in their gardens when the weathers nice... it's not like we get too many good days anyway :cool: Now I'd be tempted to stand in the garden and have a staring contest with her while she's staring at you, but thats just me hehe :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

I realise the situation is stressful.., so as well as ignoring her actual behaviour), try and see the situation as rather silly and pitiful. Laugh at her instead of worry about her. Don't let her impact your life. Given how u live, she can do nothing.., u can have fun and enjoy your lives to the full. I doubt she is able to, which makes her rather silly.

julie03

i really feel for you, i went through this when i lived in spain, moved into a tempory house for 2 months, the neighbours banged on the wall every time my kids made a noise, and it was a nightmare when they went outside. my 2 year old seemed to scream all the time. you live on edge all the time with every little noise. but i think if you own the house you have to ignore her and do your own thing, let your kids be kids ,she sounds a bit insane.

noapron

Well I am almost 56 with a 14 year old. I love it when all the children are out playing. My neighbour is a childminder, so there are always sounds of little ones playing when the weather is good. Even if she has had sadness in her life there is really no reason for her rudeness. I would hate to be described as old and grumpy at 60!

I say enjoy your children and your garden (should we get a good summer!)

mikey72

Buy your eldest an electric guitar and your youngest a drum kit, then let them practice in the garden.

elvis86

meritaten wrote: »

you say its the neighbours and talk about HER but you dont mention him.
the reason i say this is because my son and his partner moved into their house about five years ago and it was only when the girls started playing outside that the neighbours were funny with them - something like yours.
it got to a point where the neighbours complained that when the girls were playing on the trampoline they could see into the neighbours garden and kitchen.
my son and partner were really puzzled -then they were told that the neighbours husband was on the sex offenders register. they dont know if this is true - but it makes sense that the neighbours wife is trying to keep the kids at a distance. they even had the back path fenced off at their boundary even though its against all the rules of the estate, just because the girls were riding their bikes along the path!
dont want to frighten you hun, but either your neighbour has mental health problems or its something like I say above.
whichever - raise your fence and let your kids play in YOUR garden! dont let your awful neighbours rule your life or thiers!!!

I have to say I really object to this. Rumours and hearsay about something like that are really not helpful, no matter how miserable a neighbour someone is. IMO, shame on you/your son for spreading such malicious gossip.

RE the OP's situation, she sounds like a thoroughly miserable old cow and I would take the advice that many have given and ignore her. What can she actually do? Intimidate you? Only if you allow her to.

One interesting point is that the OP comments on this neighbour's garden overlooking hers, yet meritaten's family was perplexed that their neighbour should object to their kids overlooking them when bouncing on their trampoline. It does kinda show that there are 2 sides to every story and all that...:cool:

ciderwithrosie_2

Sounds like our neighbours, we've lived here 18 years and only spoken a handful of times. We've never known what we've ever done to offend them as they speak to other neighbours, infact the bloke is quite fawningly creepy to some of the women round here.

I know when we moved in we had a baby and a toddler, then another one came along but they were never naughty boys - just normal kids, infact they never used to go in the garden much when they were little as I was paranoid about cat muck as we had so many cats in the neighbourhood (including next doors) using our garden. He has often felt compelled to ask me to 'keep the noise down' which I'm tempted to reply.... 'sorry, I have no idea what you're on about' - it's not like we have dogs barking, music blaring or anything and only 2 sons living at home now.

They conveniently overlook that when their druggie son was living at home he would swear at my kids in the street for no reason and flick his lit cigarette butts from his bedroom window onto our porch roof, even now the wife stands in the garden smoking and blowing fumes in through our back door when it's open in summer and talks loudly on her mobile phone in the garden. If my husband sees them glaring out the window he smiles and waves which makes them go away then, but I just totally blank them when I'm hanging out washing etc.

If I could afford to put up a 6ft fence I would and get some privacy. They're just weird and hopefully they'll move to an old people's bungalow soon and we'll get some more friendly neighbours (I don't have any the other side as we're on the end of a terrace). We always dreamt if we won the lottery, we'd buy our (council) house and let it cheap to a really horrible family that had big loud dogs, cars in bits in the garden and heavy metal music thumping all day and give them something to really complain about!

If none of your other neighbours have a problem with your kids playing out then don't let it ruin your life, if they were going to complain to environmental health about noise they would have done by now. I'd be tempted to phone some estate agents, give their address and get them to send them details of warden controlled housing/retirement flats, see if they get the hint they're not wanted. You said they had a dog, if it ever barks, perhaps you could complain loudly about that and slam a few doors, see how she likes it.

regards CWR

Buttonmoons

Sounds awful OP

I live in a flat and have the neighbours below me reporting me for every noise my DD makes. I hate it. She isn't even that noisy and its during normal hours, why buy your house in a skyscraper if you don't like noise above you?! Boggles me.

DD could walk off the sofa, trip over something (she is clumsy like myself) and make a thump when she hits the floor, and I'm being hassled with her banging a broom on the ceiling and then without fail, I have the housing officer at my door the next day. She has kids, she brought them up in that flat, is she trying to say they made ZERO noise?!

I'm constantly telling DD, don't run, be quiet etc, and it's really not fair. I know it's not just DD being OVERLY noisy either as the last tennants in this flat, moved because she was doing the same about her 2 year old toddler. I'm not in a financial position to do that.

I'm a young parent, but we've never held a party, or had people over, played music to all hours etc. We had 1 child over from DD's nursery, and she reported me 7 times in 2 hours :eek: He WAS a bit noisy, but they were playing tag, and kids thump.

She is wanting to get my 4 year old an asbo for excessive noise :eek: and then she found out I have cats (stormed into my house when my boiler was leaking, like I knew!!) and reported me for them, they don't even make any noise! Thankfully the housing man sees sense on that one (because I fibbed and said they were old *cough*) but if I put them in a pound, they get put down. They don't effect her life, why should she care? She's a bitter nasty woman.

Sorry I've hijacked your thread here.