Memorygirls - Make Do and Mend

lucielle

Thanks for the advice and help much appreciated.
L

Memory_Girl

savingholmes wrote: »

:TWell you sound amazing to me MG - you have a lot to be proud of. :T

I have done life coaching a few years ago which I loved and played with the idea of setting up my own business - but backed off as need a steady income (partly so can repay debts). I spent an evening in the pub with a friend deciding what my ideal job looked like and how I could still use my coaching skills....

The first job I saw on the net when I got home was the one I am in now... It was only temp and less money than I am used to so I nearly didn't bother... but now they are talking about making it perm. It is lovely to be paid for helping people.... Spelling out in your own head what it is you are looking for does make all the difference to whether you recognise it when you see it.

ps I've just hoovered the lounge.... and DS is preparing chicken fahijtas for our tea (he is 12.5!)

Thats so inspiring to me savingholmes - the thought that with a little creative thinking the perfect job is there for the asking.

toying with the idea of writing my perfect job description and posting it above my laptop so that i can see it all the time - including a massive salary of course.

my mates have often said that i should coach -my challenge is that I don't have endless reservoirs of sympathy for people. There always comes a time when you are "helping" someone towards a goal that i feel like shaking them to wake them up and give them some oomph!!! IYswim???

for instance, we have someone at school that the HT has described as "being in crisis" and there is a meet organised. She and her husband earn £70K each in really prestigious jobs - but she must have shed loads of debt cos she is now claiming her kids can't come to the school becaue she can't afford it, that they are not going to the local school and she will have to home school them - and the kids are distraught that they are not in school.

she (and this is being cruelly honest and I apologise) can't even find the time to launder her kids clothes and comb the nits from their hair. her 3 month trip home to the states was paid for her family of 7 - yet the kids schooling wasn't counted into the equation. they arrived home on sunday - (school started on monday - and the others stared last wed, so she doesn't exactly do planning ahead.) the chances of her being able to effectively home-school are precisely NIL!!!

but the sadddest thing is she is the most frazzled, stressed and unhappy woman i have ever seen. And now i get news that because they didn't finish the building works or clean the house before they left for the states they are being sued by the lettings agent who is being sued by the american people who rented their house over the summer - and its for a lot of money.

She says she can't send her kids to the school when she knows that i am ebaying my possessions to pay for DS1 to be there. But she doesn't get that this is my choice - and we play it as a game with everyone celebrating when i can make a payment because we all understand that my cashflow problem is very temporary.

the most ironic thing is that she is a psychologist.

Now between you and me GF, what she needs at this point is less of a life coach more a kick up the a**. she needs to clean up at home (ebaying the kids designer cast-offs would create thousands for her i'm sure), clean her home, create some routines for the kids (what they have been used to at school - but not at home) create a proper soa and a budget that works for her family so that she is not lurching from one crisis to another.

and you know if i thought for one minute she was remotely near her LBM i would go and help her clean her home, declutter the drifts of junk and create her budget. but the condition would be that i help her - what she is hoping is that someone will come along and save her, thats the difference.

You see i'm more a practical,get busy and get your hands dirty kind of "coach" - you gotta do the work to get the result IYSWIM.

ooooohhhh!!!! I sound like one of those "tough love" people on the telly - i'm not that bad,honest, just believe that "Insert your diety" helps those who help themselves.............

Whew!!! don't know where all that came from

MG

Memory_Girl

cha97michelle wrote: »

Reading your posts today i would love to come round to your house and be your close friend. You often talk about what DIY needs doing in the house, but to me, your house is a home and that is what is more important.

I've also got the song from Jungle book in my head. 'ooh ooh ooh, I wanna be like you oooh ooh'. Your boys are certainly lucky to be in your family and being brought up so well.

willing hands are welcome any time:D

............and now that song will be rattling around inside my head all day:rotfl::rotfl:

mG

Memory_Girl

knitwit67 wrote: »

[/COLOR]

Sorry MG to butt in

Lucielle you could try writing out an envelope with your name and the new house address on it. Leave it on the side and every time you pass it say to your self ' Im Lucielle and live at (new address)', Also thank the universe for giving you the house, act as if it is yours already. Good luck

i'm going to steal this idea knitwit. i'm going to post 50 slips of paper offering me speaking gigs at anything between £500 and £5000, full expenses paid an pop them in envelopes and pin them to a board by my letter box.

BTW my letter box has now been christenned "My opportunity box" and i expect the bookings to start flowing through my doorway right now.

mg

gallygirl

Memory_Girl wrote: »

the most ironic thing is that she is a psychologist.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:'physician heal thyself'

Memory_Girl wrote: »

You see i'm more a practical,get busy and get your hands dirty kind of "coach" - you gotta do the work to get the result IYSWIM.

ooooohhhh!!!! I sound like one of those "tough love" people on the telly - i'm not that bad,honest, just believe that "Insert your diety" helps those who help themselves.............

There are different types of everything MG, you sound like a bossy headmistress type life coach rather than the fluffy ones at the other end of the spectrum. (That's a compliment by the way, just realised I've never posted on here before, tracked you down as I kept reading references to how fab you are ). If you lived near Herts I'd gladly pay you to sort out my friend who needs some tough, directed, love

parsniphead

Memory_Girl wrote: »

Thats so inspiring to me savingholmes - the thought that with a little creative thinking the perfect job is there for the asking.

toying with the idea of writing my perfect job description and posting it above my laptop so that i can see it all the time - including a massive salary of course.

my mates have often said that i should coach -my challenge is that I don't have endless reservoirs of sympathy for people. There always comes a time when you are "helping" someone towards a goal that i feel like shaking them to wake them up and give them some oomph!!! IYswim???

for instance, we have someone at school that the HT has described as "being in crisis" and there is a meet organised. She and her husband earn £70K each in really prestigious jobs - but she must have shed loads of debt cos she is now claiming her kids can't come to the school becaue she can't afford it, that they are not going to the local school and she will have to home school them - and the kids are distraught that they are not in school.

she (and this is being cruelly honest and I apologise) can't even find the time to launder her kids clothes and comb the nits from their hair. her 3 month trip home to the states was paid for her family of 7 - yet the kids schooling wasn't counted into the equation. they arrived home on sunday - (school started on monday - and the others stared last wed, so she doesn't exactly do planning ahead.) the chances of her being able to effectively home-school are precisely NIL!!!

but the sadddest thing is she is the most frazzled, stressed and unhappy woman i have ever seen. And now i get news that because they didn't finish the building works or clean the house before they left for the states they are being sued by the lettings agent who is being sued by the american people who rented their house over the summer - and its for a lot of money.

She says she can't send her kids to the school when she knows that i am ebaying my possessions to pay for DS1 to be there. But she doesn't get that this is my choice - and we play it as a game with everyone celebrating when i can make a payment because we all understand that my cashflow problem is very temporary.

the most ironic thing is that she is a psychologist.

Now between you and me GF, what she needs at this point is less of a life coach more a kick up the a**. she needs to clean up at home (ebaying the kids designer cast-offs would create thousands for her i'm sure), clean her home, create some routines for the kids (what they have been used to at school - but not at home) create a proper soa and a budget that works for her family so that she is not lurching from one crisis to another.

and you know if i thought for one minute she was remotely near her LBM i would go and help her clean her home, declutter the drifts of junk and create her budget. but the condition would be that i help her - what she is hoping is that someone will come along and save her, thats the difference.

You see i'm more a practical,get busy and get your hands dirty kind of "coach" - you gotta do the work to get the result IYSWIM.

ooooohhhh!!!! I sound like one of those "tough love" people on the telly - i'm not that bad,honest, just believe that "Insert your diety" helps those who help themselves.............

Whew!!! don't know where all that came from

MG

Morning Memory Girl and well said.

I work at a college for special needs and teenagers with behavioral problems. It's a lovely place and the students are cared for and helped with any issues, but sometimes a little too much.

To be honest I tend to be sympathetic to a point then start with the tough love, which generally works well. A lot of the students have difficult backgrounds and I'm not surprised when they do kick off, but they respond well to structure and seem happier for it. I feel that society is way to namby pambying and not giving people the skills to deal with problems when they have them.

What I'm trying to say badly is that sometimes folk need help and support to help themselves, which will hopefully give them confidence to be strong and deal with life effectively.

I'm going to stop talking now as I'm waffling.

I hope you all have a successful and productive day.

P

savingholmes

Memory_Girl wrote: »

Thats so inspiring to me savingholmes - the thought that with a little creative thinking the perfect job is there for the asking.

toying with the idea of writing my perfect job description and posting it above my laptop so that i can see it all the time - including a massive salary of course.

Do it! In my case it wasn't about the massive salary though - I worked out a range of salary I would be comfortable with from low to high and looked for roles in that range.... I looked at how little did I need to meet my commitments saw this role as a paid training course as I get to use my coaching skills on the job!

my mates have often said that i should coach -my challenge is that I don't have endless reservoirs of sympathy for people.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: There always comes a time when you are "helping" someone towards a goal that i feel like shaking them to wake them up and give them some oomph!!! IYswim???:D

Yeah I am not known for my sympathy! I've done coaching and counselling courses - and the strong message is be non-directive.... ie you don't tell them what to do you ask them questions that help them figure it out for themselves. This creates more buy-in! In coaching you can use tough love to challenge someone to move out of their current state and into a more positive one - quite a bit of that interestingly is done through visualisations.... eg the rocking chair test

If you change nothing and carry on leading your life is you are what would you look back on sat in your rocking chair at 85....

You are encourage to insert sights, sounds, smells, colours etc in the visualisation. what friends would you have, what relatives come to call, will you be at home or in a care home, what will you have achieved, what will you have missed out on....

Now do the exercise again and look at what you would ideally look back on at age 85 - what's changed, why? What steps can you take to start achieving that....

It's a much more positive way of shaking someone out of their comfort zone and into action....

For me one of the best things about coaching is it isn't about tea and sympathy - and it doesn't ignite the "rescuer" within me - It's about saying stuff happens - right where are you going to go from here to achieve your goal....

I don't know whether you have ever read Paul McGee's sumo books (shut up and move on) but I think they are fab.... He allows people a little bit of "hippo" time... wallowing in their self pity and then tells them to dump their "victim" t-shirt and get on with making a better future for themselves...

Memory_Girl

gallygirl wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:'physician heal thyself'





There are different types of everything MG, you sound like a bossy headmistress type life coach rather than the fluffy ones at the other end of the spectrum. (That's a compliment by the way, just realised I've never posted on here before, tracked you down as I kept reading references to how fab you are ). If you lived near Herts I'd gladly pay you to sort out my friend who needs some tough, directed, love

Maybe I should get myself a severe suit and a bun like supernanny for grown-ups and take to the road :rotfl:

I do have a pin badge bought to me by a mate who is a professional gardener. It reads B.I.T.C.H. babe in total control of herself :rotfl::rotfl: - in fact i am going to look it out now and pin it to my bag to make me smile.

MG

Memory_Girl

parsniphead wrote: »

Morning Memory Girl and well said.

I work at a college for special needs and teenagers with behavioral problems. It's a lovely place and the students are cared for and helped with any issues, but sometimes a little too much.

To be honest I tend to be sympathetic to a point then start with the tough love, which generally works well. A lot of the students have difficult backgrounds and I'm not surprised when they do kick off, but they respond well to structure and seem happier for it. I feel that society is way to namby pambying and not giving people the skills to deal with problems when they have them.

What I'm trying to say badly is that sometimes folk need help and support to help themselves, which will hopefully give them confidence to be strong and deal with life effectively.

I'm going to stop talking now as I'm waffling.

I hope you all have a successful and productive day.

P

Morning parsniphead

glad its not just me - cos i read the post back and thought omg!!! who is this woman??? i've turned into my mother :rotfl::rotfl:

Think thats why I am in love with montessori education - it can be simply summed up in the phrase "show me how to do it for myself" - and that is so empowering for our littlies in a world that preaches "be safe, be dependant - and if it goes wrong blame someone else"

Off my soapbox now - and backto making the piccalli for boxing day:D

mg

Memory_Girl

............. and savingholmes, love the post.

am off to the library to find out if our la has any of his books in stock -sounds like my kind of guy:D

today I am striking a blow for financial independance. Even though i may not get ctc for the next two weeks, and all the bills are due out, i am still going to go to the bank and withdraw my next £125 created from my PAD habit.

i figure that if things get really desperate then it will still be sitting here in cash - but if i leave it in the account all that hard work will just get swallowed up over the next month. so out it comes - and now i really need to get creative with my budget.

made hm hummous and pitta bread for ds1 lunch today - with a piece of banana cake, carrot sticks and a fresh banana to eat after sports. we've got the same so its all sorted.

pasta with fresh tomato sauce for tea, with pasta salad for tomorrows lunch so looking good for living from stores for a good while yet.

off to library, to the bank and then back to pot up my dill pickles.

see you later

mg