Memorygirls - Make Do and Mend

MrsMoo2U

Memory_Girl wrote: »

I'm sorry moo2moo - maybe i did miss something out in all my rambling.

the HT had her 3 children away with her this last few days visiting their old home on one of the islands - as I am the practical one (packing boxes, creating packing lists,ordering paint and equipment, oraganising schedules and projects, the driver) it was the ideal time for her to spend a few days away with her kids before setting up the school for the new year.

She and her kids got off a bus at 8pm last night - so i really wouldn't expect to hear from her until today (Saturday) - and no i don't suppose he will mention it at all, because that would be consistent to an abusers pattern (to deny it ever happened, to lay the blame on someone else, to get angry again to deflect the blame - but hopefully to move on to acceptance that he has a serious problem and that it would need to be dealt with)

I am toying with the idea of approaching a third party to contact her today to arrange a meeting (obv not with him there and with support on my side) to gently let her know what happened on thursday. Good Idea MG. She should be made aware and this would be a good approach

.............. and the quotation has made me even more determined that what i need to do is be in a posistion to help the school -but if that is about getting this mn professional help instead of painting, cleaning.moving,driving vans and setting up materials then that is also ok. Glad that the quote was taken in the manner it was meant. I agree that some things might need to be put on hold fo more important matters

MG

Good luck in whatever you decide to do today. The sooner you can deal with this the sooner you can settle back to the positive, happy, focused person you are without any distractions.

lucielle

Hope everything oges ok.
L

pagangirl

de-lurking to give you :grouphug: Can't believe what happened. Glad you reported it to the police. You have to think about what will be best for the children.

I also echo what cherisong said [Good luck in whatever you decide to do today. The sooner you can deal with this the sooner you can settle back to the positive, happy, focused person you are without any distractions.]

Memory_Girl

Hi Guys

gave the HT until 1.30 to call me - and when she didn't I called her. It seems like she had a wonderful holiday on the island - although I believe the midges were a wee bit of an issue.

HTH not there -still painting the school (which should have, and could have been finished yesterday) and obvioulsy he had not told her anything.

She is meeting our new teacher this afternoon - and when i requested a meeting said "sure, pop over to the house tonight about 6". Obviously I'm not going to be doing that, so settled on a meeting in a famous coffee shop in St A's at 4.30pm. Pretty public etc, but i feel bad being the one breaking this to her.

how do you start a conversation with a woman you admire when you know you are going to tell her that her husband hit's women??

But I can't in all conscience let it roll over another day - esp if HTH isn't going to raise the issue, then I'm sorry but it does have to be me.

Send me positive vibes at 4.30 - and prayers that we can come out of this with the best for all involved.

Memorygirl

nattypants

Hi MG,

Been thinking of you all weekend.....will QUADRUPLE my thoughts for 4.30:A
I think you are taking an admirable (and in my opinion) correct approach....could you arrange for a friend to be within the vicinity to give you some morale support immediately afterwards? - no doubt you will feel as shaken up as the HT.

Just a thought.....I am unable to get to St. Andrews today otherwise would have offered, however would be more than happy to PM you my mob no if you'd like a chat?

Take care, you are the bigger person here and are doing the right thing.

NP X

juliejim

Thinking of you

Jue

ClootiesMum

Best of luck in St A @ 4.30 - will be thinking of you

MrsMoo2U

Hope that the meeting went ok and that you are ok after it. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts and virtual hugs should they be needed.

Memory_Girl

Righto - i'm back

Long story short. HTH will not be actively involved in the school from the beginning of term. We both agreed that he needs to take some time out and go and sort out his anger issues. TBH she is mortified at what has happened, but is grateful that I didn't look at it as a single issue but instead as a symptom of something bigger brewing - tbh, another few months and I think he'd be looking at breakdown or worse.

I feel happy that the immediate issue of his contact with the kids is resolved -but even happier if this is the catlyst for him getting the professional help we feel he now needs.

Thanks for all of your support over the last couple of days - I think you realise how much of a curve ball this has thrown me.

Off to put DS2 to bed - because he hasn't had a nap and is "Sponge bob, grumpy pants" at the moment.

TTFN

Memorygirl

ClootiesMum

Best outcome you coulfd have asked for under the circumstances.....

And can I ask - did she already know, or even suspect something had happened?