Wedding Gift List - hostility

Jowo_2

The following article is interesting because those commenting on it are overwhelmingly fed up with being asked to buy gifts for couples, particularly those who are already cohabiting. It also includes comments from those who got married who decided to forgo a traditional gift list.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1271535/Forget-gifts-just-money-say-newlyweds.html#comments

How do you feel about gift lists for weddings you've attended?

How have you organised yours - no list, list for travel or store vouchers? cash gift? voluntary donation to charity?

floss2

We have stated that as we have condensed our 2 homes into 1 we already have everything we need, but if our guests insist then either Thomas Cook or Debenhams vouchers would be gratefully accepted.

laura2481

I have just commented We are registering for a gift card service at Debenhams but only because people started asking what we wanted as a gift as soon as we were engaged- though we are really not bothered. The strangest one is my fiances boss who is insisting on giving us £100 as a joint engagement/wedding gift to go towards a digital camera (her stipulation!) even though we told her not to!

Dinah93

I'm really nervous about putting on the invites that we have a gift list as it seems pushy - despite the fact we're a very traditional and aren't living together before we're married, and neither of us have lived alone other than at uni so we don't have all the house stuff.

shellsuit

We're not asking for anything, but if people ask us what we want, we'd like cash as we're saving up for fitted wardrobes.

Actually my Aunty asked us the other day what we want so we asked her to buy us the wardrobes ~ we were joking of course

I always give cash at weddings ~ even if there is a gift list.

It's upto me what I do with my money.

bubbles0169

if lists werent the 'done' thing there wouldnt be a service for them in every department store you get!
on the other hand if its not the done thing in your family/head dont do one
im not sure what were going to do yet because weve lived in our own home for over 9 years, we dont need anything off the traditional lists you have
i dont think i need to tell our guests this in an invite either as its abit obvious(well it should be if they know us which they will otherwise we wouldnt invite them lol!)
but i dont(at the risk of seeming spoilt) want 100 different, or not, types of wedding day memorabilia either
oooh
i dont think ive helped really have i?
ill get back to you in 2 years:rotfl:

RainbowDrops

Personally, I prefer it when people put a wedding list / suggestion on their invites. I've never thought it to be pushy!
It makes it a lot less stressful for me as a guest to think about what to give them.
I don't have to worry about buying them something the don't want / like / need etc.

I've still to decide what to do when we sen our invites out (whether to have a list or ask for money towards the honeymoon) but I'll most likely put a suggestion on there.

Birdie85

We're not having a list as we're having a small wedding abroad and don't expect any of our guests to give us gifts as their 'presence is present enough'. If any of our friends and family who aren't coming away but are attending our party when we get back want to buy us presents I'm not really sure what to say, we've been living together for a year so we have all of the little bits and all we need now is big stuff like new sofas but I don't like asking for cash so I may hint at vouchers if pressed, I'll be giving huge hints at work as the person who takes charge of the present buying at work buys the worst stuff and I really would rather not have to live with an ugly lamp for ages until it 'accidentally' falls over and breaks! I don't want to sound ungrateful but I'd rather have nothing than something awful, I hate waste which is what a bad present is at the end of the day!

Saying that, we’re going to a wedding soon and we were asked for cash, not even nicely or with some subtlety- just, ‘We’re asking for cash’ when I asked for their gift list. I don’t like the feeling that I have to pay to attend the wedding and I don’t even know what the cash will be used for so I’m feeling uncomfortable about it and since we don’t have a lot of spare cash as we’re saving for our own wedding I’d rather get them a gift worth £50 that only cost £20 rather than just giving them £30 (which we’d feel stingy doing as we’ll feel like it’s not enough.)

Jowo_2

I have to say I was surprised at the level of resentment displayed on the comments which fed back on the article. I'm not surprised that some people may feel reluctant to contribute cash to the couple but was shocked by the general resistance in gift lists. I've never minded buying presents or vouchers towards someone's wedding list, even long-term cohabiting couples.

floss2

Jowo wrote: »

I have to say I was surprised at the level of resentment displayed on the comments which fed back on the article. I'm not surprised that some people may feel reluctant to contribute cash to the couple but was shocked by the general resistance in gift lists. I've never minded buying presents or vouchers towards someone's wedding list, even long-term cohabiting couples.

I know what you mean - we always buy a gift, even if we don't know them very well.

After all, if you have been invited to and attend their wedding, you should not resent giving a gift, whether actual, voucher or cash according to the couple's circumstances.

magicgirl

We have stated on our invites that we will not be having a list - all we really want is for people to make the effort to turn up. We have had a lot of family members asking what we want but considering I have already been 'warned' that I shouldn't be too disappointed if people say no cos its a lot of money for one day... ?! tell me about it!!
Anyway, after talking to h2b about it, we eventually agreed that I am going to put on put on our website that we will have a wishing well and if anyone wants to contribute, they can but i wasn't going to make it really obvious and was hoping to leave that to my CBM and the best man to deal with. I would be really happy if it was empty at the end of the night but I know that won't be the case.

In terms of giving gifts, if no gift list is sent, i automatically give cash. If cash/vouchers are an option, i will usually give that.