Advice on fair digs to charge daughter

Molly41

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

In some ways this is such an emotive subject.I have found it personally to be a difficult thing to deal with. Our son is a student three days a week and works 2/3 days a week as well.He tried for months to get a job and now finally has one. We ask him for a small amount of housekeeping and I feel uncomfortable taking it as we can manage without it but I know as a parent we should do it.
He understands the cost of things and knows he could'nt afford his food bill let alone anything else. I have found the transition from dependent child difficult.

So have I!!!! Im in a similar position to you and had a thread regarding this matter called Tough Love only a few weeks ago.

I think there is light at the tunnel though as very slowly my DS(19) is beginning to see! I too was accused of only being money minded which is totally the opposite to how i actually am. I know that as a responsible mother I have a duty to help him understand the cost of living so that he can manage it one day himself. I would rather he learnt those lessons with my help although its tough! I have a compromise with my son as he went back to college and now has a part-time job. However he got a real shock when he worked full-time and realised just what he had to pay out - I asked for a third by the way!

POPPYOSCAR

Molly41 wrote: »

So have I!!!! Im in a similar position to you and had a thread regarding this matter called Tough Love only a few weeks ago.

I think there is light at the tunnel though as very slowly my DS(19) is beginning to see! I too was accused of only being money minded which is totally the opposite to how i actually am. I know that as a responsible mother I have a duty to help him understand the cost of living so that he can manage it one day himself. I would rather he learnt those lessons with my help although its tough! I have a compromise with my son as he went back to college and now has a part-time job. However he got a real shock when he worked full-time and realised just what he had to pay out - I asked for a third by the way!

Thanks Molly I certainly hope so.We have only just started this so I am sure with time it will get better.The trouble is we get told that so and so does not have to give their parents any money and that they are buying them a car etc. Sometimes I do feel mean, but you are right tough love and all that!

heretolearn_2

I think a third is pretty normal.

To put this in perspective, I got my first job at 16 years old and was paid £60 a week. This was in 1982. I used to give my parents £20 a week. I never resented a penny of it; I was proud to be contributing as an adult.

I can't believe that at 16 years old, 20 years ago, I was handing over more than some people think 20-odd year olds on good salaries should pay now!