Advice on fair digs to charge daughter

ljaneyr · 3 May 2010 at 5:05PM

I pay my Mum £150 a month and do a few jobs around the house (clean the bathroom, mow the lawn and clear up after the puppies mainly). I don't earn a lot at the moment and I pay £160 a month on my car so I really couldn't afford much more. Also my Mum wants me out asap so I save all the money I get from temping on my days off. If I had to pay more rent it would take me longer to save enough to move out!

babymoo · 3 May 2010 at 5:27PM

I am on benefits, ESA and DLA, I give my stepdad £40 per week. This includes everything. I do however have to buy all my own clothes, buy any extra food that wouldn't normally be on the shopping list, any smellies such as deodrants, shower gels, shampoos etc. I am 23 BTW.

Person_one · 3 May 2010 at 5:36PM

I moved home after uni too as I couldn't get a job straightaway where I had been studying. I wasn't charged anything when I wasn't working but when I got a full time job I paid £100 a month and did the food shop every few weeks.

It wasn't much, but to be honest I wasn't costing them much more than they were paying anyway. Council tax and mortgage were the same, bills didn't go up at all as I hate heat and never have the radiator on in my room, they were on water rates not a meter and I didn't use the landline as I had a mobile.

By making my rent so low they enabled me to save enough that I moved out to my own place within two years. I've just had to move back in unfortunately after splitting with my partner and being made redundant but it shouldn't be for too long hopefully! Again, as I'm not working they aren't charging any rent.

pmlindyloo · 3 May 2010 at 6:19PM

Quote:

''It wasn't much, but to be honest I wasn't costing them much more than they were paying anyway. Council tax and mortgage were the same, bills didn't go up at all as I hate heat and never have the radiator on in my room, they were on water rates not a meter and I didn't use the landline as I had a mobile.''

No disrespect intended but the number of times I have heard this forces me to respond!

Once you are an adult you should be treated as one. As a child parents can look after you but as an adult you should be looking after yourself. (given that you are working, of course)

The point is - how much would it cost you to live on your own? - in a shared house or whatever?

Grrrrh!

Having said that I do think you should arrange things according to your circumstances. Not everyone can afford to 'sub' (in my opinion) their children so they can save/whatever.

In my opinion (I keep saying that 'cos I really don't want to offend anyone!) - the sooner you learn the real cost of living, the better.

LondonDiva · 3 May 2010 at 6:41PM

At a minimum - a third, more if she costs more than that (don't forget to add the loss of the single person counciol tax discount when you're thinking about the figure).

Then she will have 2/3 of her income after accommodation, food & utilities, which is more than I have & I bet more than you have after you've paid for food, utilities and mortgage.

As her wages increase, so the contribution to the household in proportion. Gas, electricity & rates go up each year regardless.

If she's unhappy, point her in the direction of https://www.gumtree.com or similar.

Oldernotwiser · 3 May 2010 at 7:16PM

Person_one wrote: »

Again, as I'm not working they aren't charging any rent.

But aren't you paying for your keep (bills and food) out of your JSA?

dandm1 · 3 May 2010 at 8:16PM

Before I moved out I was paying a third of my wages up to a maximum of £250 per month, and I was, understandably, expected to also contribute to washing/ cooking/ cleaning etc - and that didn't involve just doing my own!
It meant I had enough to live on/ travel and also to save for a deposit towards moving out. x

caeler · 3 May 2010 at 8:40PM

As others have aluded to, try no to subsidise your daughter too much, it really is for her own good. If you really feel you can/want to perhaps thing about a secret savings scheme from some of the cash she pays.

xMonsoonx · 3 May 2010 at 8:43PM

£150-£200 a month with her fair share of chores too, i don't she'd find nice, secure lodgings for less.

shirlgirl2004 · 3 May 2010 at 8:44PM

My son pays £120 a month and takes home about £800 - £1k a month (varies depending upon shifts). He knows he is getting cheap board, he doesn't really cost too much to have living here so I think we are literally charging him what it costs us. If he cost us an extra £30 in council tax I would add that on too. I personally wouldn't feel happy charging him a commercial rate. Commercial rates are for people wanting to make money and I don't want to make money from having my son live here.