Advice on fair digs to charge daughter

elgord

Thank you to everyone for all your replies to my query!! I feel more justified in what I sort of had in mind, around the £200 mark (or a similar percentage of what's earned). Totally agree with her paying her way, as she would have to if she was sharing with anyone else. Will mull over the discussion and start doing my calculations asap!!

silvercar

If you charge any more than the extra it is costing you to have your child live with you, then you are profitting out of your children. By all means add up the extra food, utilities, phone, council tax and charge that. If you charge more than that, you will be making a profit from your child living at home, which I think is immoral.

Sneezy

When i was 18, i paid 100 pounds and on the 4th week of the month would pay for fuel for the week (i shared the car with my dad - we worked v near each other). so it would come to about 150-160 pm (my take home was around 800) - it was my offer/suggestion to pay something and this is what me and mum agreed to - now since my dad has been made redundant i pay 130 but also have to pay 90 for my train fare, which was taken into consideration.

Depends on what your daughters wage will be - def make her save something whatever sum you decide on.

Oldernotwiser

silvercar wrote: »

If you charge any more than the extra it is costing you to have your child live with you, then you are profitting out of your children. By all means add up the extra food, utilities, phone, council tax and charge that. If you charge more than that, you will be making a profit from your child living at home, which I think is immoral.

Getting adult children to pay their way isn't profiting from them. It's treating them as responsible adults who want to be truly independent.

Mojisola

elgord wrote: »

Thank you to everyone for all your replies to my query!! I feel more justified in what I sort of had in mind, around the £200 mark (or a similar percentage of what's earned). Totally agree with her paying her way, as she would have to if she was sharing with anyone else. Will mull over the discussion and start doing my calculations asap!!

As well as agreeing on the money to be paid, discuss the work that needs to done around the house too. A lot of adult children who live at home still think their parents should cook, clean, wash and iron for them.

elgord

silvercar wrote: »

If you charge any more than the extra it is costing you to have your child live with you, then you are profitting out of your children. By all means add up the extra food, utilities, phone, council tax and charge that. If you charge more than that, you will be making a profit from your child living at home, which I think is immoral.

Fair enough point - and the postings suggesting making a realistic calculation as to what extra will be incurred seem a good idea. However, I do think that it is important that a young person knows the value of money, and understands how difficult it is to make ends meet, and asking your child to contribute to day to day living expenses, TV, phone, car lifts, etc do not, in my opinion, constitute making a profit.

Person_one

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Quote:

''It wasn't much, but to be honest I wasn't costing them much more than they were paying anyway. Council tax and mortgage were the same, bills didn't go up at all as I hate heat and never have the radiator on in my room, they were on water rates not a meter and I didn't use the landline as I had a mobile.''

No disrespect intended but the number of times I have heard this forces me to respond!

Once you are an adult you should be treated as one. As a child parents can look after you but as an adult you should be looking after yourself. (given that you are working, of course)

The point is - how much would it cost you to live on your own? - in a shared house or whatever?

Grrrrh!

Having said that I do think you should arrange things according to your circumstances. Not everyone can afford to 'sub' (in my opinion) their children so they can save/whatever.

In my opinion (I keep saying that 'cos I really don't want to offend anyone!) - the sooner you learn the real cost of living, the better.

I am fully aware of the cost of living! I had come home after 3 years of working through uni and an awful lot of student debt.

In my opinion (don't want to offend anyone) this idea that individuals should be entirely independent all the time and never accept help from family is a very new one. In many countries and cultures and not so very long ago in this one it was fully accepted that families would do their best to help out a member in need whatever their age.

Also, my parents only paid £5000 for their first house in the early 80s and were able to get decent and relatively secure jobs early in life. Things are a lot different for young adults now and I think a lot of parents are acknowledging that and trying to help their kids get started on their own by enabling them to save.

Person_one

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

But aren't you paying for your keep (bills and food) out of your JSA?

JSA hasn't started flowing yet!

But as I mentioned previously, I don't cost anything in bills and as when I lived here previously I plan do the food shop once every three weeks. There are three of us living here so it works out even.

I plan to be under their feet for the minimum time possible this time, but I know they wouldn't mind if I stayed till I was 40. Feeling welcome in your family home is a wonderful thing and was such a comfort when horrid circumstances pretty much forced me back.

Oldernotwiser

Person_one wrote: »

JSA hasn't started flowing yet!

But as I mentioned previously, I don't cost anything in bills and as when I lived here previously I plan do the food shop once every three weeks. There are three of us living here so it works out even.

I plan to be under their feet for the minimum time possible this time, but I know they wouldn't mind if I stayed till I was 40. Feeling welcome in your family home is a wonderful thing and was such a comfort when horrid circumstances pretty much forced me back.

Do post information about this amazing trick on the Old Style Board, I'm sure we'd all like to know how to live like this.

JSA (when it starts ) is given to pay for utilities and food, not for pocket money!

kingfisherblue

My daughter works for an agency and brings home between £600 and £750ish, depending on the amount of shifts she has. She has quite high travel costs, so the first thing she does is pay for her monthly pass (if it isn't quite due, she puts thhe money into an envelope), so that it is there when she needs it). She pays me £40 a week, but has to contribute to household tasks such as cooking and cleaning - she lives here and isn't paying for a maid!

As a carer for my disabled son (and on IS), I don't pay council tax. There is an amount of CT to be paid since my daughter started working, though, so she has to pay this as well.

She is saving a proportion of her wages each month, originally for a house. She's now decided to learn to drive, so she's saving enough for lessons and car insurance (her grandad bought her an old but decent car). She doesn't want to start her lessons until she has enough money saved though - as an agency worker, she is aware that hours can drop suddenly.

I feel that £40 a week is a suitable amount in the circumstances. If she wasn't saving, or if she didn't do her share of housework, I would charge her more. I think it is important, though, to encourage saving as well as being realistic about the cost of living. She knows that she couldn't live elsewhere for so little, but she doesn't overspend on nights out (she has a limit each week, which she puts into envelopes at the beginning of the month. Once that week's money has gone, it's gone - basic budgeting).