Advice on fair digs to charge daughter

ljaneyr

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

To post information about this amazing trick on the Old Style Board, I'm sure we'd all like to know how to live like this.

JSA (when it starts ) is given to pay for utilities and food, not for pocket money!

And as person-one said, she will be doing her share of the food shopping. I think sometimes people forget that all people and circumstance are different. Obviously her parents are happy to help out as she has been made redundant. I'd love to know of an alternative place to live for people on JSA which I believe is about £60 a week.

billybobberyl

When my boyf ( now husband) and i moved back in to my parents as our lease ran out, we paid them a certain amount every month, even when my OH new business was starting we still paid a percentage of our income, The great thing was when we decided to get married my parents gave us everything over what we had actully cost in real terms to pay for our wedding, so if you settle on an amount and then after 6 mths 12 mths whatever you realise it was over the costs incurred gift it back but for something worthwhile not a night out! just an idea

paulwf

I think it depends on what you want to happen in the long term, have you had a talk with her? If she just needs 6 months to get some money together perhaps charge a small rent (providing you can afford to do this and you want to support her). If she has no intention of leaving then charge on the high side otherwise she'll never leave home!

The danger is charging a low rent for too long unless she is saving it as she won't ever want to leave...unless you want her to stay for years of course.

silvercar

elgord wrote: »

Fair enough point - and the postings suggesting making a realistic calculation as to what extra will be incurred seem a good idea. However, I do think that it is important that a young person knows the value of money, and understands how difficult it is to make ends meet, and asking your child to contribute to day to day living expenses, TV, phone, car lifts, etc do not, in my opinion, constitute making a profit.

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Getting adult children to pay their way isn't profiting from them. It's treating them as responsible adults who want to be truly independent.

Paying their way is the extra cost you incur by having them in what was/ is their home. If they pay you more than the extra it costs you then you are profiting - by definition.

The bottom line is that they can't be truely independent while living at home, so self justifying making money out of them being at home is hollow words IMHO.

Person_one

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

To post information about this amazing trick on the Old Style Board, I'm sure we'd all like to know how to live like this.

JSA (when it starts ) is given to pay for utilities and food, not for pocket money!

If you read my first post again you'll see how I don't cost them anything extra in bills. In fact they benefit in lots of ways from having me here as I do a lot of housework and cooking, walk the dog every day and do bits of DIY for them (they're both a bit rubbish at it!).

If they hadn't let me move back I'd have been in the horrible position of having to live under the same roof as my ex until I found a new job or would be looking for private rentals that accept housing benefit. They're my parents, they'd rather see me not miserable then worry about teaching 'life lessons'.

Not that its any of your business, but my JSA will be saved as much as possible and added to my house deposit fund.

brians_daughter

My parents charged my brother just over 20% of his salary when he left uni and moved home, he then also provided his own food. It worked out he was paying £300 pcm.

Mum took £150 for bills and put the other £150 in an account for him. When he eventually left home 4 years later (lol) she 'gave' him over £7,000 ie the £150 pcm she was saving for him, out of his money (lol) to kit his house out.

He said it was the best thing anyone had ever done for him. He learnt the value of money as he was paying £300pcm to mum and buying his own food, but yet got a nice suprise when he was in a position to move onto the housing ladder and she was sure it wouldnt all go on beer and loose women lol

SO that may be a thought?

samandona

Just thought I should point out that alot of Uni students KNOW the costs of living already. I am aware that tax-payers often think students live on free money for 3 years, but for the majority what they get doesnt cover their rent let alone food/clothes. I have virtually finished my degree and have spent the last 3 years working atleast 20 hours a week, every week, in order to pay my rent and living costs. My parents could have helped me, but I didnt want them to nor did they offer.
As for "teaching her a lesson". Unless she is in the proportion of kids who go to Uni blissfully unaware of how life actually works (and that is the parents fault) she will have a fair idea of how much things cost already.
It depends how long you want her under your feet. If she's sensible and saves, then dont charge her an arm and a leg. That way she'll be able to move out sooner. However, if she'll fritter away the extra money on holidays and gucci shoes then I agree with the others, be realistic about how much it would cost her if you wern't there to help.

Oldernotwiser

ljaneyr wrote: »

And as person-one said, she will be doing her share of the food shopping. I think sometimes people forget that all people and circumstance are different. Obviously her parents are happy to help out as she has been made redundant. I'd love to know of an alternative place to live for people on JSA which I believe is about £60 a week.

Paying towards the shopping doesn't take into her account of the bills and we have no idea of whether her parents are happy with this arrangement or not.

If she were living independently she would receive LHA and CTB to cover the rent and would pay her food and utilities out of her JSA, which is what it's intended for.

Oldernotwiser

silvercar wrote: »

Paying their way is the extra cost you incur by having them in what was/ is their home. If they pay you more than the extra it costs you then you are profiting - by definition.

.

So,if someone went into a house share with others, one wouldn't contribute to utility bills on the basis that these were already being paid? It's exactly the same thing when living with parents, if someone wants to be an equal member of the household, they may their share.

Person_one, you think you cost nothing extra but I assume that you shower and wash/dry clothes and bedding at your parents' home - do you think that the electricity used by the shower/washine machine/dryer is free?

Person_one

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

So,if someone went into a house share with others, one wouldn't contribute to utility bills on the basis that these were already being paid? It's exactly the same thing when living with parents, if someone wants to be an equal member of the household, they may their share.

Person_one, you think you cost nothing extra but I assume that you shower and wash/dry clothes and bedding at your parents' home - do you think that the electricity used by the shower/washine machine/dryer is free?

I dry my clothes on the line outside or on a clothes horse inside if its raining.

If you want to work out how much my 5 showers a week and one or two loads of washing costs in electricity then let me know, I'll pass the information on to my parents and see if they want me to pay for it. I'm fairly sure they'll look at me like I'd offered to mop the roof for them.

If you have kids I sincerely hope you aren't counting on them to help you out at all when you are elderly. After all by then you'll have had plenty of time to learn the value of money and figure out how to take care of yourself.