think my man is cheating what now?

mumslave

clare1981 wrote: »

hi, thanx for all the posts i have read them all.
when he came home yesterday he was a bit on the defensive to begin with and said wot do you want to know? i said everything. he swears on my sisters little girls life he hasnt cheated (and he loves her so much) he says this girl is just someone he talks to when out and he has never kisses her or anything doesnt know what shes going on about (it was a new txt i deleated so he hadnt read it). but he said that doesnt even matter coz hes leaving anyway and had planned to leave before i lost my job but after that thought he couldnt leave me with no job or anything so was waiting till i found something else. he says he just doent love me anymore, says i am a briliant girlfriend and a great girl and he loves me to bits but hes just not in love with me and he cant see us having kids or getting married coz he doesnt get buterflys when he sees me and he just doesnt think he loves me. i tried to say you dont get all that after 8 years so much coz boring life and bills take over, but he wont listen. he says its not like hes got someone to go to he says hes not going to be with this girl he dosent care about her he just wants to go. i dont think i believe him and its all ripping me apart i cant stop crying i cant eat i feel ive got nothing now no boyfriend no job dont know where im gonna live got nowhere to go. he took his clothes n some pictures of him and my nice last night and hes gone. says he'll come back over the weekend sometime and sort out what were gonna do with the house, he says if i want it he will carry on paying his share till i get a job and then he'll not ask for anything from it but if i dont want it he will have it and struggle by himself, but im so scared hes gonna move someone into our home and cant stand that. i could afford it even if i had a job though.
so sad right now just dont know what to do.

Claire I am sorry to read how things have ended up, it must be devastating to be told such things by someone you love. Its going to take a lot of time and tears to move on, but you will do eventually. Try to put all your focus into YOU now, finding a job, a place to live. Go down to the citizens advice or job centre, find out what you can receive to help you until you do. xx

richardvc

suited-aces wrote: »

I don't think he was being sarcastic,

Thanks for making that point suited !

I wasn't being sarcastic for what it's worth and was actually impressed with the idea and as someone else put, I am not that devious !!

Why do people always assume the wrong thing ?

BTW, Clare, good luck in getting yourself sorted. The people here are good people and will help you all they can.

HeatherH

Just wanted to add to what most people have already said, focus on you for the moment and try to keep busy with anything you can think of to do. It doesn't help when they're still being nice as you've got nothing to be angry about, the whole healing process takes a long time, but it does honestly happen. I had this a few years ago when my son's dad affair got found out, instead of trying to make amends and staying together, he chose to walk away, which split me in two. It took me a very long while to get over the situation and him, as I loved him with all my heart. You can't change how he feels, but you can choose how you cope and feel.
I also agree with the counselling, I had a good experience with relate when trying to make sense of things in my life, especially when it came to letting go of a person that I realised that I never truely had.
See this as not the end of a relationship, but the beginning of a new life, a new life all about YOU!

Big Hugs and remember there's loads of us here if you ever need to cry, cheering up or just needing to vent x

neneromanova

richardvc wrote: »

Thanks for making that point suited !

I wasn't being sarcastic for what it's worth and was actually impressed with the idea and as someone else put, I am not that devious !!

Why do people always assume the wrong thing ?

BTW, Clare, good luck in getting yourself sorted. The people here are good people and will help you all they can.

I'm sorry, It's just the way you were over excited about it. I will delete my last comment and I'm sorry about it.

richardvc

neneromanova wrote: »

I'm sorry, It's just the way you were over excited about it. I will delete my last comment and I'm sorry about it.

No need to do that - it really doesn't matter.

PHYTHIAN

I've browsed these forums a few times but never bothered to register but felt I had to when I read your story Claire.

Right now you are going to be feeling down and as though you can't see the wood for the trees. Believe me when I say I have been there Claire.
My wife left me about 14 years ago for another man, leaving me to bring up my 7 year old son. I had also recently lost my job. I had no friends as I had left them all behind many years before and simply had people ' who I knew'....probably not unlike yourself at the moment. I was soooooo low and amashed to admit I turned to drink. One night I went out and didn't get home until past midnight to my 7 year old waiting up for me.

I got up next day and decided there and then ' THAT [EMAIL="F@CKING"]F@CKING[/EMAIL] B!TCH ISN'T DOING THIS TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

I told family and ..tbh...anyone else who would listen about my troubles. It really is true when they say ' A problem shared........etc'. I was far too shy to talk to other women as I hadn't needed to since I was 15 ( when I met my wife) but was talking to a family friend one day who told me that I had always come across to her as being supremely confident. She told me that she seen me laughing and joking a few nights ago with someone and assumed it was a new girlfriend. I told her we were just having a laugh. Playfully, she hit me on the head and said ' D!!!CKHEAD!!!. Why do you think that was????????? It's called CHATTING HER UP!!!!'...I just hadn't realised????!!!!!

I stopped looking for solutions at the bottom of a pint glass and got myself a job. I suddenly realised...people actually like me.

12 years later, I am happily remarried ( 4 years) to the most wonderful woman. We are total soul mates. We also have a beatiful daughter. My son is now 21 and is in the process of setting up his own business. I now have a very good job , the wife and I both have our own cars and we have two family holidays a year ( sorry if that sounds boastful, it's not meant to be).

Sorry to waffle on, but hope you may be able to take a grain of comfort from my story. It's hard, it's unfair and it [EMAIL="bl@@dy"]bl@@dy[/EMAIL] hurts but believe me Claire, there is better for you out there. So dust the cobwebs off, get your hair done and your makeup on, lift your head up high and show the silly pr!ck what he is missing.....see how long before news comes back that he is starting to regret what he did.

foxy-roxy

PHYTHIAN wrote: »

I've browsed these forums a few times but never bothered to register but felt I had to when I read your story Claire.

Right now you are going to be feeling down and as though you can't see the wood for the trees. Believe me when I say I have been there Claire.
My wife left me about 14 years ago for another man, leaving me to bring up my 7 year old son. I had also recently lost my job. I had no friends as I had left them all behind many years before and simply had people ' who I knew'....probably not unlike yourself at the moment. I was soooooo low and amashed to admit I turned to drink. One night I went out and didn't get home until past midnight to my 7 year old waiting up for me.

I got up next day and decided there and then ' THAT F@CKING B!TCH ISN'T DOING THIS TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

I told family and ..tbh...anyone else who would listen about my troubles. It really is true when they say ' A problem shared........etc'. I was far too shy to talk to other women as I hadn't needed to since I was 15 ( when I met my wife) but was talking to a family friend one day who told me that I had always come across to her as being supremely confident. She told me that she seen me laughing and joking a few nights ago with someone and assumed it was a new girlfriend. I told her we were just having a laugh. Playfully, she hit me on the head and said ' D!!!CKHEAD!!!. Why do you think that was????????? It's called CHATTING HER UP!!!!'...I just hadn't realised????!!!!!

I stopped looking for solutions at the bottom of a pint glass and got myself a job. I suddenly realised...people actually like me.

12 years later, I am happily remarried ( 4 years) to the most wonderful woman. We are total soul mates. We also have a beatiful daughter. My son is now 21 and is in the process of setting up his own business. I now have a very good job , the wife and I both have our own cars and we have two family holidays a year ( sorry if that sounds boastful, it's not meant to be).

Sorry to waffle on, but hope you may be able to take a grain of comfort from my story. It's hard, it's unfair and it bl@@dy hurts but believe me Claire, there is better for you out there. So dust the cobwebs off, get your hair done and your makeup on, lift your head up high and show the silly pr!ck what he is missing.....see how long before news comes back that he is starting to regret what he did.

Wow!! That is a true inspirational story, Claire I hope you can take comfort from that, as you may notice in his post Pythian turned his life around once he realised that he had self worth and believed in himself, people liked him, he shared his problems. This is what you need to do.
Yes your ex is being a bit nice to you now but that will wear off, he will be wanting to move on and so should you, don't let him see your tears, show him how strong you are. I am sure you will look back one day and be glad it all worked out the way it has. xxx

skypie123_2

How are you today honey? xxx

meece

I just read your thread, and wanted to say that I hope that things will get better for you soon.
Please take time to be kind to yourself, have a bubble bath, watch a cheesy film something like that. This helps me when I have a tough time.
Don't try to look too far forward, just think about the day you are in, it makes it more manageable.
Hope you feel better soon.

minnie123

Hi,
I have just read this thread and really feel for you nothing hurts worse than heartbreak but it's true what people say the only way to go now is up. I just wanted to send you a big hug and say I think you should keep posting on this thread for support. Just take one day at a time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx