I'm fat, my daughter has nits and I've ran out of money.

Triker

smokybabe wrote:

Oh my god, just look at that hair,
beautifully clean, shiny and fair.
Turn around darling - lets see your face
It's the triker girl, I'm all in a daze.

I'm biding my time and waiting in line,
the head that I'm on won't do for my rhyme.
Get closer, go on whisper - that's all that I need,
one jump - I'm there - now my offspring to breed.

First off a tasty supper of nectar so red
and then I'm off to the side of her head.
Oh heaven right here a nursery I've found,
I'm laying my eggs white, shiny and round.

I'm happy and content, life is so good.
Plenty of children and oodles of food.
But wait - who's this giantress that I spy?
Triker's mum! we all shout in one single cry.

Let battle begin you adversary of mine.
Do your worst, you won't hurt me this time.
Your lotions and potions will no longer kill,
Conditioner's fun and vinegar a thrill!!

You've tried and tried, threatened and cried,
every remedy going and I've laughed while you've sighed.
Each suggestion you get - even the one from the vet,
has miserably failed and left you in debt.

But wait what is this? MSE? MARTIN? THREAD????
What's this got to do with invading her head?
Oh I see the old fashioned remedies are out,
Go ahead Triker and knock yourself out.

They all don't work - You know I'm here to stay,
look there's a comb must be tip of the day.
Buy it my lovely - and see If I'm beaten,
I'll watch your despair as your failure deepens.

D day's arrived - here we go OH MY GOD!!!
She's broken my legs the miserable sod.
She thinks she's won, we are all nearly dead.
It's a pity she missed that last shiny new egg.

That was brilliant, sat here laughing my head off. Thank you you've brightened up my day :T

kathfisch

Fabulous smokybabe, very funny! :T :T :rotfl:

smokybabe

No problem at all Triker. I'm glad you like it.

gallygirl

Is everyone barking mad on here?




Oh good, I've come to the right place then.....ooohh, I like that, think I'll try to make it my avatar

smokybabe

Tell me what an avatar is please
and maybe a poem for you I will tease.
Yes I'm barking - usually begging too,
I think wer'e all barking to be in this zoo.

Triker's a star and has talent at waste,
Her musings obvious to those of us with taste.
Come on gal - write us a story -
preferably cheery and maybe quite gory!!!!

pandaonmyshoulder

Read some of this thread but it's sooooo long anyway...

Nits- I have 4 children (3 girls) and they used to get nits regular and I spent a fortune on lotions and potions. Anyway, buy some Aussie Conditioner and Aussie Leave In Conditioner (not cheap especially doing 4 heads). Wash and condition hair and nit comb (cheap nit comb nothing fancy needed). Get rid of as many of the little nasties as poss and then repeat this every day for 1 week (break the egg/nit cycle) and daily spray on the leave in condition and comb/brush as normal carry on using the conditioner, afer 1 week just wash and condition as often as normal. But carry on forever during school/college years with leave on conditioner daily. If your daughter has long hair always tie it back whilst in school. This has been the only thing that has rid my house of nits, been nit free for 3 1/2 years now. All my daughters have long hair and my youngest has very curly hair which nits used to love:eek:

Nat West- dump 'em asap I used to work for 'em 14 years ago and the first thing I did when I left was close the account (Nat West staff have to have a c acc for there salary to be paid into- may be different now).

tiff

You dont need expensive shampoo and conditioner, I bought the largest supermarket own brand I could find and it was on bogof. Just used it every day for 2 weeks as she has such long thick hair that I didnt want to take any chances.

rog2

ali007 wrote:

Is everyone barking mad on here?ooohh, I like that, think I'll try to make it my avatar

Probably - but if you can't have the occasional laugh then things really are bad:beer:

kathfisch

smokybabe wrote:

Tell me what an avatar is please
and maybe a poem for you I will tease.
Yes I'm barking - usually begging too,
I think wer'e all barking to be in this zoo.

Triker's a star and has talent at waste,
Her musings obvious to those of us with taste.
Come on gal - write us a story -
preferably cheery and maybe quite gory!!!!

At poetry I'm really not hot
but, what the hell, I'll give it a shot.

An avatar is the pic under your name,
not to have one is really a shame.
Choose anything you want
and laugh we shan't,
in excitement we shall exclaim!

Go to "edit avatar" and upload one,
you know you'll have so much fun.
Mine is my hands y'know,
on my scanner my fingerprints still show,
but in truth 'tis too late to be undone!

If you need more info on how to
fear not we shall tell you anew.
We'll not think you a dimwit,
we can talk you through it,
perhaps in the form of haiku?!




with great indebtedness to my saviour, the the free online rhyming dictionary!!!

gallygirl

Kathfisch
you are a dish
your avatar explanation
is beyond recrimination
and your groovy hands
are known throughout mse lands

was going ok till last line