No replies for DDs party - advice

retro_bluebell

pulliptears wrote: »

I think emsywoo probably took the comment of 'Bite Me" as exceptionally and unnecessarily rude, as to be honest I did.

Yes I agree that wasnt the best way to express it (and neither is my post above maybe I should have put it better) but I can understand why Tia felt she needed to defend herself.

spendapennyortwo

why not just invite a couple of friends and make it more of an *informal* birthday bash? i.e. in your own home or at a woodland park. that way you don't have to worry about who turns up, and who doesn't. no money wasted.

onlyroz

Kay_Peel wrote: »

I think you have to hand invitations directly to the parents and carers, explaining what kind of an event it is and finding out whether there will be any difficulties with transport or other reasons why the other children will find it difficult to attend. You have to get their phone numbers and chase them up these days because they live complicated and busy lives.

This might be possible in a school, where everyone collects their child at the same time, but would certainly be impossible at my daughter's nursery, where everyone collects at a different time. And no reputable school/nursery would *ever* give out parents' phone numbers or addresses.

Becles

Kay_Peel wrote: »

Personally, I wouldn't take responsibility for children that I don't know unless I had spoken to the parents and carers, knew something about the child and knew how to get hold of the parents/carers in the event of something going wrong. .

It's a good idea to get contact numbers. We had a case where a lady dropped her daughter off and told me that she was going out, so could I send her home with Alex's Mam who would drop her off at her Aunt's who lived a few doors away. I assumed this had been pre-arranged with Alex's Mam.

Then Alex arrived and his Mam said it would be his grandparents picking him up as he was going to stay at their house for the night. I asked about the other girl and she knew nothing about it.

Our car didn't have any spare seats, so it looked like I was going to have to take the girl to her Aunts and then go back to the leisure centre to collect my lot.

Anyway another lady had overheard me talking to my Mam and said she knew the Aunt so she wouldn't mind dropping the girl off. I didn't know that lady very well, but sent the girl with her and she got to the Aunt's safely. It was a big worry though wondering if I did the right thing or in case anything happened to the girl on the way home and I was found to be responsible for letting her go with the lady.

Britwife

I hope you get some responses today.

I have a child in Foundation Stage. I can be a bit on the shy side but always make it a point to say good morning or try and strike up a convo while waiting. There are a few that I will chat to but most if I didn't say goodmorning and smile to, they would never speak to me.

daska

tiamai_d wrote: »

We have kinda picked up a habit of popping a mobile number on the invites rather than slips of paper, because most of us (as in local parents) won't be able to say a deffinate yes or no until the week of the party. So text works best.

But surely it's simple good manners to let the parent who issued the invite know that you aren't able to give a definite answer and to ask by what date they need to know numbers?

sylvergrunge_2

My youngest DD is 4 and for her party I did invites (not named) that she handed out to the other children in her nursery whilst in the playground before school for a few days in a row. They were unnamed as this then allowed her to give out any extras she had "forgotten". This also meant they were handed out at a time when they could be given straight to the parents. Most parents got back to me within a day or so but there were a few who I never got a response from but that was fine (although mental note taken and I wont be inviting their child next year) as I had hired a hall so numbers weren't an issue. I always put my phone number on the invite as it allows parents to give their answer straight away rather than relying on a reply slip to find it's way back to me.

It is also worth noting that getting invites put into childrens bags at nursery is an easy way to do it but dont always expect them to find their way back to the parents!!!

patchwork_cat

Becles wrote: »

It's a good idea to get contact numbers. We had a case where a lady dropped her daughter off and told me that she was going out, so could I send her home with Alex's Mam who would drop her off at her Aunt's who lived a few doors away. I assumed this had been pre-arranged with Alex's Mam.

Then Alex arrived and his Mam said it would be his grandparents picking him up as he was going to stay at their house for the night. I asked about the other girl and she knew nothing about it.

Our car didn't have any spare seats, so it looked like I was going to have to take the girl to her Aunts and then go back to the leisure centre to collect my lot.

Anyway another lady had overheard me talking to my Mam and said she knew the Aunt so she wouldn't mind dropping the girl off. I didn't know that lady very well, but sent the girl with her and she got to the Aunt's safely. It was a big worry though wondering if I did the right thing or in case anything happened to the girl on the way home and I was found to be responsible for letting her go with the lady.

OMG seriously - it does make you wonder about some people though. To say oh send her home with X and not tell X, honestly. As happened in your case the unexpected happens and that could have put their child in danger and cause you inconvenience and I bet some anguish like, well do I let this girl go off with mrs C or not?

patchwork_cat

Tia I don't think that anyone is saying that your DS's health is less important than a party, but if you had nothing arranged on the date you could say yes and ask for a phone number in case anything crops up. IF you don't let people know that you probably will come until the week of the party, I am afraid that your DS will likely suffer in the long run as people will not invite him if you are continually tardy with responses - mind what do I know others obviously feel it is fine and not bad manners to not even reply or various other things that people do that I am continually shocked at and think crikey where has courtesy gone and where is this country going?

tiamai_d

Where did I say that I didn't already reply? The text later on is a confirmation.

One person jumps to a conclusion and everyone else jumps on the bandwagon. Then go on about being rude. I give up.