No replies for DDs party - advice

Spendless

*Chattie* wrote: »

looking at it from the other side if my son had received an invite from a child at that age whose parents I didn't know and it had come to my child via the nursery/school then I probably wouldn't be inclined to allow him to go?

Why on earth not? Take your child and stay with them. That way you will soon build up an acquaintance/friendship base of other parents.

galvanizersbaby

Spendless wrote: »

Why on earth not? Take your child and stay with them. That way you will soon build up an acquaintance/friendship base of other parents.

Yes to be honest at age 4 - I would always stay at parties with DD and DS - mind you now that they are 6 and 7 I still do most times unless they have requested for not to.:o

I find now that it's often appreciated by the party host as most parents drop off and go...fine if your child is relatively well behaved but there appear to be several children in DD's class particularly that don't fall in to this category and their parents unsurprisingly never stay with them so they require adult supervision and it can be a bit tricky if there are lots of other kids at the party.

OP - when my children were this age I didn't really socialise with many of the parents other than to say hi if our paths happened to cross at drop off times (was always on way to work so didn't have much time to chat) - I would imagine if you speak to one of the nursery staff they should be able to mention it to the parents concerned as long as there are not too many.

I hate it when people don't RSVP to party invites - I find it really rude but sadly it seems to happen a fair bit now.

pulliptears

tiamai_d wrote: »

My calendar is full of hospital appointments, physio, OT, SALT, biomechanics, so if I'm rude for prioritising more important things over kids parties, bite me.

speaks volumes
:whistle:

freddie_2

H went to school this morning and asked teacher to ask the parents.
I am picking her up later so will see what happens.

I would have had the party at home but have a 10 day old baby and didnt fancy the mess etc esp if weather bad.

Will let you know what happens. Thanks for all replies.

retro_bluebell

tiamai_d wrote: »

My calendar is full of hospital appointments, physio, OT, SALT, biomechanics, so if I'm rude for prioritising more important things over kids parties, bite me.

I dont think you are rude at all doing this tbh Im amazed at some of the replies on here! When we had my DD's party in March I invited everyone at nursery as we had hired the village hall so it didnt matter how many came I wasnt paying per head, and she had only started last September so didnt have a best friends yet (I dont think they do really at this age and I dont want to leave anyone out so invited all 20 of them). Most mums came to me and said they were coming or not, but a couple said they wouldnt be able to tell me til a few days before, the first was because she had a younger son and her husband works away so she was sorting a babysitter out (to which I told her to bring the younger one too lol). The other mum works shifts and didnt know what shift she was working (fair enough).

Her party was a great success (only 2 didnt come in the end) and I now know lots of the other parents and can talk to them more freely (not that it stopped me before I wil talk to anyone lol).

kelloggs36

tiamai_d wrote: »

I will put my sons health before social events each and every time.

That isn't what is being said though - if you have an appointment, you can say your child can't make it, but it is those who can't be bothered to reply when they haven't got anything booked in, or wait until the last minute incase something else comes up that it is rude!

retro_bluebell

emsywoo123 wrote: »

No, that is no excuse.
We all have busy lives, appts etc, but the parties are really important for social development.
It is just rude.
Sorry for going a bit OT OP!

Im sorry I am all for manners but seriously what planet do you live on and is the weather there nice??? Think about what you have just wrote there- a child health is way more important than a 4 year olds birthday party! What is she was waiting for a cancellation for a hospital appointment? Would you say to the consultant sorry but X has to go to Y's party then....... Im sure this poster would have made the childs parents aware that she may have an appointment coming up, but to suggest tha a party is more important is ridiculous. .....Im stunned.

*wanders off shaking her head*

Kay_Peel

Personally, I wouldn't take responsibility for children that I don't know unless I had spoken to the parents and carers, knew something about the child and knew how to get hold of the parents/carers in the event of something going wrong. .

You seemed to have winged it. You passed responsibility to nursery staff for distributing the invitations. You are considering getting the staff to help you sort it out at this late stage. Why should they be involved? The other parents will feel under no obligation to contact you personally because you have not put yourself out to contact them personally.

I think you have to hand invitations directly to the parents and carers, explaining what kind of an event it is and finding out whether there will be any difficulties with transport or other reasons why the other children will find it difficult to attend. You have to get their phone numbers and chase them up these days because they live complicated and busy lives.

If you take short-cuts then so will the people you are dealing with. They'll forget to reply or won't bother.

I hope they all turn up! You live and learn these things. :beer:

izzybusy23

freddie wrote: »

H went to school this morning and asked teacher to ask the parents.
I am picking her up later so will see what happens.

I would have had the party at home but have a 10 day old baby and didnt fancy the mess etc esp if weather bad.

Will let you know what happens. Thanks for all replies.

I hope you get some replies today! Similar thing happened to me two years running. The first year was when my DD was at nursery; all the invitations were handed out to the parents (who I had got to know quite well) but didn't get many replies so in the end (as I didn't seem to catch everybody when dropping off / picking up DD) i printed out a form and left it by the sign in sheet asking the parents to tick whether child could / could not go to party and gave them a date to tick by.. that worked really well and the nursery staff also mentioned it to the parents.

This year it was my DD's reception school friends; and I think out of 14 children I had only had 5 replies about 4 days before the party and needing to confirm numbers 24 hours beforehand. In the end I went up to all the parents in the playground and asked them. Out of the 14 invited; 11 children came in the end with 1 not replying at all; 1 being sick and 1 not being able to make it. You might just need to bite the bullet and approach the mum's. Luckily my DD tells me who is who in the playground and I have got to know which child is with which mother / father over time.

I know its not a very nice feeling when you don't get many replies; but some mum's either don't see the invitation as previously mentioned (being stuck in a book bag - I am a guilty culprit of that for one party recently) or something crops up and they just forget to reply.

Good luck and hope you get it sorted out!

pulliptears

retro_bluebell wrote: »

Im sorry I am all for manners but seriously what planet do you live on and is the weather there nice??? Think about what you have just wrote there- a child health is way more important than a 4 year olds birthday party! What is she was waiting for a cancellation for a hospital appointment? Would you say to the consultant sorry but X has to go to Y's party then....... Im sure this poster would have made the childs parents aware that she may have an appointment coming up, but to suggest tha a party is more important is ridiculous. .....Im stunned.

*wanders off shaking her head*

I think emsywoo probably took the comment of 'Bite Me" as exceptionally and unnecessarily rude, as to be honest I did.