No replies for DDs party - advice

elvis86

tiamai_d wrote: »

We have kinda picked up a habit of popping a mobile number on the invites rather than slips of paper, because most of us (as in local parents) won't be able to say a deffinate yes or no until the week of the party. So text works best.

How rude! Why are folk so terribly busy that they don't know their availability for a child's party more than a week before the event? What do you all do, wait to see if anything better comes along before RSVPing?:eek:

Oldernotwiser

tiamai_d wrote: »

We have kinda picked up a habit of popping a mobile number on the invites rather than slips of paper, because most of us (as in local parents) won't be able to say a deffinate yes or no until the week of the party. So text works best.

!

Why on earth not - are you hoping to get a better offer?

What message is this sending to the children about manners and friendship?

SUESMITH_2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Why on earth not - are you hoping to get a better offer?

What message is this sending to the children about manners and friendship?

totally agree with this - a simple yes or no will do, and once you have said your child is coming it gets written on the calendar.

thank god my kids are past this now as i had exactly the same experience except i did talk to the mums and plucked up courage and asked them straight out.

onlyroz

I think you'll find that the nursery staff won't be able to directly point out which child/parent is which - can you imagine how you'd feel if you heard that an adult had turned up at your child's nursery asking "can you tell me which one is little Gerald please?"

And my boy (nearly 5) can't even coherently give me the names of his best friends, so identifying their parents would be an impossible task. So giving invites via the nursery/school staff seems to be the only way with such a small child.

I get all sorts of junk put into my son's book bag (including fliers for local tradesmen, which *really* gets on my nerves). Much of it gets thrown out, which has led to me missing the genuine stuff (was in the doghouse for missing a non-uniform day, because the letter about it had either not been put in, or had been thrown out by mistake). So it wouldn't surprise me if an invite had either not been given in the first place or had been lost.

Becles

That used to bug me too, but you just have to bite the bullet, and go and ask the parents if the child is coming or not.

The thing I hated more was a couple of parents with siblings and at every party, the sibling turned up and the parent said "oh do you mind if XXX stays as I've got nobody to look after him/her". Then they expect feeding and party bags which you hadn't budgeted for. I always ended up doing extra food and a couple of spare bags as I knew the siblings would end up stopping.

74jax

elvis86 wrote: »

What strikes me most about this, is how sad it is that you don't speak to the mums of the kids that you've invited.:(

Go with your mum (you've said she takes your daughter because you have no car, so presumably you are available, not at work or anything?), pull your finger out and speak to the other mum's!

Won't that be a bit awkward on the day if you don't know any of the kids' parents??

I was thinking this too. If they are 6 of daughter's friends do they not play at each other's houses? Do you not know a parent who might have another parent's phone number? When my daughter was this age, i knew all the parent's of the kids in her class. Even just from going to see plays etc at school.

What I'm meaning is, you might not have ALL 6 telephone numbers but parent's work in a kind of 'network' and I'm sure if you mention it to one they will pass the message on to contact you.

Any

onlyroz wrote: »

I think you'll find that the nursery staff won't be able to directly point out which child/parent is which - can you imagine how you'd feel if you heard that an adult had turned up at your child's nursery asking "can you tell me which one is little Gerald please?"

And my boy (nearly 5) can't even coherently give me the names of his best friends, so identifying their parents would be an impossible task. So giving invites via the nursery/school staff seems to be the only way with such a small child.

I am sure it is doable. Even if you have to stand outside the gate with your son and wait for the people to come with their offsprings to which your child will run up to (especially if you tell him to) and that is the best way to find out whether the invites ever got out.

The only other way is to sit at the party and see what happens... Whether anyone actually turns up. Risking big dissapointment for the child though...

Very strange that no parents talk or at least say Hello!!:eek:

patchwork_cat

Becles - yes that is so rude isn't it! Some people are so arrogant I can think of one mum that would do this and the rest of the year couldn't even be bothered to talk to us! There is a certain type - my next door neighbour is the exact same type. Believes that they are so much better than everyone else.

Did want to say to the OP that I thought she ought to talk to the other mums even if it isn't those specific ones.At that age I would have know who was whose mum. Don't keep yourself to yourself as there will be some mums who won't come because they don't know who you are ( mind they should still reply)

I don't think that the nursery would have na issue if explained and you said I invited Jimmy, but he hasn't replied which is Jimmy's mum they would point them out. My DD at long before 4 would have known exactly whose parent was who and would have probably have gone up to the mum with the child and sorted it out!!

That is another way to tackle this - does your DD know who has been invited - she needs to ask the kids and then go up to each kids parent at teh end of session and ask is Jane coming to my party on wednesday.

tiamai_d

My calendar is full of hospital appointments, physio, OT, SALT, biomechanics, so if I'm rude for prioritising more important things over kids parties, bite me.

emsywoo123

tiamai_d wrote: »

My calendar is full of hospital appointments, physio, OT, SALT, biomechanics, so if I'm rude for prioritising more important things over kids parties, bite me.

No, that is no excuse.
We all have busy lives, appts etc, but the parties are really important for social development.
It is just rude.
Sorry for going a bit OT OP!