The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

brokepaolo

Morning folks.

was AF yesterday so that's 3 in a row for me, woohoo!
Yesterday I really challenged myself as well, I went to the pub with colleagues to watch the England game, everyone was drinking beer like it was going out of fashion but I stuck to my guns and had a couple of cokes, a few people asked why I wasn't drinking and I just said 'I'd rather not' and that was that. then I met some friends after work at another pub and had a lime soda, again my friends asked me why I wasn't drinking and I said I was just giving it a rest for the week after a heavy weekend, to which most of them said 'oh yeah, I ought to do that too really' and then to really make it tough for me to resist, I decided to cook beef casserole for some friends at my house, I needed wine for the casserole but I'm chuffed to say that the little bottle I bought is still there in the kitchen merrily half full. My friends brought wine for themselves and offered me some but I declined politely.

Went to bed at midnight, sober as a judge and happy as a 'not guilty' verdict!

Now I need Italy to do me a favour and qualify for the next round of the world cup and I'll see what non alcoholic beverage will be my celebration tippple of choice!

graemecarter

treepotato1 wrote: »

i've thought about it but i think you have to be an alcoholic to be prescribed it? you can buy it online but it's very expensive and i wouldnt'l like to take it witout having the test drink to see the effects because i would probably take the drug then drink just to to self harm.

i am trying to persuade a guy i know who is an alcoholic to ask for it but he doesn't want to stop drinking just now....so there's no point.

did you ever take it graeme?

I never took it. I imagine that if I wanted to drink alcohol, I just wouldn't take the drug to begin with.
I know my disease of alcoholism is centred in the mind, so I need to change my thinking, not the way my body reacts to alcohol.
That said, I think everything is worth a shot. the best treatment is the one that works, whatever that may be. It will be different for different individuals

brokepaolo

Don't know about Disulfram but over the last month or so I tried Kudzu and I'm sorry to say that it didn't really do much for me at all. I read that the concentration of the active ingredient sold over the counter here is very weak and that at least treble the concentration was required for it to have any actual effect.

When I first tried it, the placebo effect kicked in and I talked myself into thinking that I wasn't having any cravings but as time wore on, whenever I did feel like a drink, I would take a tablet and was disappointed that my cravings were still there, the disappointment itself made want a drink even more.

but perhaps that's just me, I'm just saying that I feel happier staying AF if I've done it of my own accord.

I was chatting to my sister yesterday about how she is still drinking far too much despite having been to the doctor and them telling her that her recent women's troubles are down to her liver not functioning properly which in turn is almost certainly down to her excessive drinking. She was prescribed some medicine and that sorted out her women's troubles(sorry for the crass term but I don't know what else I should call it without making people feel ill!) and it seems as though she has taken that as the final solution so she's drinking like a fish again.

She was telling me how she wants to go back on a course of anti-depressants that she had stopped taking in March because she felt that since stopping taking them, she has felt unmotivated, lethargic and unhappy even when things are going well for her, such as managing to buy a dream flat.

I told her that yes, maybe anti-depressants would help deal with those feelings but she needed to undrestand that by not being on anti-depressants and drinking alcohol which is a depressant at the rate she does, that was a lethal combination which would exacerbate her negative feelings. I know from experience that I only ever beat myself up over bad things when I'm either hungover or blind drunk, it's horrible but it happens every time, I get anxiety attacks, I sleep poorly and get very low about all sorts of things, mainlly things in the past that i have no control over.

Staying sober, even if it is for just a couple of days always helps me put things into perspective and I sort things out that need to be sorted rather than procrastinate and put them off time after time, I work harder at my job, I keep my house tidy, I cook good meals, I sleep really well. basically, I enjoy life regardless of my circumstance which is a great feeling to have. Imagine feeling like that every day and not just after you've abstained from drinking, surely that's what we should all strive for.

I told her this and she actually started to get angry at me and very defensive, another sign of excess drinking - denial, she said she'd be happier if she could just be prescrived a pill that keeps her in check, a pill she'd have to take every day even if it was for the rest of her life just to keep things ticking over.

I pointed to her glass of wine and said 'what, like that one?'

SimIsOnTheUp

Hi guys,

Am feeling at the end of my tether.

Can not see a way out.

Feel like my life is over, cos of the mess my drinking has caused.
Am so worried it's landed me in prison 'cos of when I lied, when I took the £500 loan out at 'The Money Shop' 2 weeks back.

What the hell do I do?

Have posted on Debt Free Wannabe board - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2552543

I can't see a way out of this, as even if I do the 'right thing' which I want to do, I'm worried it'll open a whole can of worms, and the A&L / Money Shop are going to convict me for fraud.

Sim.

DecemberBaby_2

brokepaolo wrote: »

I know from experience that I only ever beat myself up over bad things when I'm either hungover or blind drunk, it's horrible but it happens every time, I get anxiety attacks, I sleep poorly and get very low about all sorts of things, mainlly things in the past that i have no control over.

Staying sober, even if it is for just a couple of days always helps me put things into perspective and I sort things out that need to be sorted rather than procrastinate and put them off time after time, I work harder at my job, I keep my house tidy, I cook good meals, I sleep really well. basically, I enjoy life regardless of my circumstance which is a great feeling to have. Imagine feeling like that every day and not just after you've abstained from drinking, surely that's what we should all strive for.

I've been sitting in the garden reading and thinking and came in and read your post. I feel pretty much the same in many ways. Being hungover for me brings out a whole load of anxiety about past things and horrible feelings that are tough to deal with. The catch 22 can be that you drink again to escape those feelings.

I agree with you too about how I feel after a few days AF. Just sitting in the garden this morning I feel so much better than when I've been drinking. At the moment, it seems like the wanting to drink won't happen today but it always does at some point. I will resist it today when it comes.

DB

happyshopper

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Hi guys,

Am feeling at the end of my tether.

Can not see a way out.

Feel like my life is over, cos of the mess my drinking has caused.
Am so worried it's landed me in prison 'cos of when I lied, when I took the £500 loan out at 'The Money Shop' 2 weeks back.

What the hell do I do?

Have posted on Debt Free Wannabe board - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2552543

I can't see a way out of this, as even if I do the 'right thing' which I want to do, I'm worried it'll open a whole can of worms, and the A&L / Money Shop are going to convict me for fraud.

Sim.

Sim. I know it's hard but you need to stop panicking. You're not going to prison. It's not a large enough amount of money for them to bother to try and sue you. The bank may well honour the cheques and hit you with charges but they won't bother taking you to court. It's just not worth their while over £500-odd. I have a friend that often writes cheques that they know will bounce. They just take the hit on the charges next time they have some money in their account. It sounds daft (and it is daft), but it hasn't landed them in jail. By talking to the CAB you're already getting good advice. Take it. Just don't do the same thing again and get yourself into even worse bother (easy to say, I know).

HSx

brokepaolo

DecemberBaby wrote: »

At the moment, it seems like the wanting to drink won't happen today but it always does at some point. I will resist it today when it comes.

DB

I agree, I woke up this morning and had my coffee and cigarette thinking 'this is great, I feel good for not having had a drink this week and I don't want one today either'. But I felt like that yesterday and the day before and yet, it got to about 4pm, or when I went to watch the football in yesterday's case, and I really wanted a drink quite badly.

I don't think that will ever change, it's a force of habit that I've been used to for the best part of 13 years. I've always wanted a drink after work or when meeting people at the pub.

Having said that, I don't find it actually that difficult to resist the urge to buy a drink when I actually get to the pub. It's a split second decision, I liken it very much to pressing the snooze button on an alarm clock. I could easily give in and hit the snooze/buy booze and I would smile at the immediate short term pleasure it would give me, but in the back of my mind I know that I should just get up and get it over with and that ten more minutes in bed is in no way going to make my day any easier, if anything it will mean ten more minutes in the office. Same thing with standing at the bar, the barman will come up to you expecting you to order a pint and you make a split second decision to say that you want a coke, or a pint of lime and soda, and it's done. you pay your money, far less than an alcoholic drink would cost, take your drink outside and enjoy the weather.

and if you think that that is easier said than done, think again, think about it really hard and you'll see that it really isn't that difficult to do.

wait for the weekend and then give yourself a pat on the back and have a beer on friday evening, you've earned it.

Kilmaley01

If Fayjmck is still posting on here, which she appears to be, can you please send me back my book that I leant to you last year....The Woman who walked into doors. You asked me in a PM for my address in October last year and I gave it to you but I have still not received my book back. Whilst I have chosen to not carry on posting on this forum, it doesnt mean that I dont want my belongings back that I was kind enough to lend you and refuse the postage charge. So please Fay, or someone who knows her reading this....post me back my book, I would like to read it again!!

graemecarter

brokepaolo wrote: »

Don't know about Disulfram but over the last month or so I tried Kudzu and I'm sorry to say that it didn't really do much for me at all. I read that the concentration of the active ingredient sold over the counter here is very weak and that at least treble the concentration was required for it to have any actual effect.

When I first tried it, the placebo effect kicked in and I talked myself into thinking that I wasn't having any cravings but as time wore on, whenever I did feel like a drink, I would take a tablet and was disappointed that my cravings were still there, the disappointment itself made want a drink even more.

but perhaps that's just me, I'm just saying that I feel happier staying AF if I've done it of my own accord.

I was chatting to my sister yesterday about how she is still drinking far too much despite having been to the doctor and them telling her that her recent women's troubles are down to her liver not functioning properly which in turn is almost certainly down to her excessive drinking. She was prescribed some medicine and that sorted out her women's troubles(sorry for the crass term but I don't know what else I should call it without making people feel ill!) and it seems as though she has taken that as the final solution so she's drinking like a fish again.

She was telling me how she wants to go back on a course of anti-depressants that she had stopped taking in March because she felt that since stopping taking them, she has felt unmotivated, lethargic and unhappy even when things are going well for her, such as managing to buy a dream flat.

I told her that yes, maybe anti-depressants would help deal with those feelings but she needed to undrestand that by not being on anti-depressants and drinking alcohol which is a depressant at the rate she does, that was a lethal combination which would exacerbate her negative feelings. I know from experience that I only ever beat myself up over bad things when I'm either hungover or blind drunk, it's horrible but it happens every time, I get anxiety attacks, I sleep poorly and get very low about all sorts of things, mainlly things in the past that i have no control over.

Staying sober, even if it is for just a couple of days always helps me put things into perspective and I sort things out that need to be sorted rather than procrastinate and put them off time after time, I work harder at my job, I keep my house tidy, I cook good meals, I sleep really well. basically, I enjoy life regardless of my circumstance which is a great feeling to have. Imagine feeling like that every day and not just after you've abstained from drinking, surely that's what we should all strive for.

I told her this and she actually started to get angry at me and very defensive, another sign of excess drinking - denial, she said she'd be happier if she could just be prescrived a pill that keeps her in check, a pill she'd have to take every day even if it was for the rest of her life just to keep things ticking over.

I pointed to her glass of wine and said 'what, like that one?'

I think we all want that little pill that has no consequences.....she'll be looking for a long time for the magic cure. I searched for well over a decade, and finally realised that I had to make the change. Nothing could do it for me....

Miss_Piggy_2

Will post scores etc once Piglet goes to nursery...busy morning.

BUT....just wanted to say:

SIM - If theres one thing I've learned about being in debt, is that money is NOT worth getting depressed about.

You've taken steps already to get things under control. As Happyshopper has said, £500 may seem monumental to you, but to your creditors its small potatos. They will NOT send you to prison...they want thier money back and they won't get it by locking you up!

You've arranged the DRO - have you spoken to the Money Shop and explained your situation? Has anyone advised you to change banks?

Lots of ((hugs)) matey. You're sounding desperate and I'm really worried. Have you seen a doctor?

Miss P
xx