The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

skintscottishgirl

Morning Lurks

Think that might be the first time for me too for a while, but truth be told i can't remember:D

Am off to work now there's nothing else for it:)

Good day everyone

SSG

XX

skintscottishgirl

shaggydoo wrote: »

16 for me please Miss P




Shaggy

Beautiful!

Right am def off now

XX

Miss_Piggy_2

Morning Lurks! Well done on the 3 days!

Morning Shaggy! Lovely picture today!

Right...I AM going to turn the pooter off and go and wash the gloss off my face...NOT a good look to meet Piglets new teacher!:rotfl:

Miss P
xx

jo1972

Miss_Piggy wrote: »

OMG YM, thats gross!! Even by YOUR normal standards!!!!:eek::eek::eek:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

yellowmonkey wrote: »

Blimey how close are your neighbours

:rotfl: :rotfl::rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :T :T

Morning all,

Hugs to Budge, what a terrible situation to put you in, hope you okay?

Maman, glad you're back safe and sound and sensible very very well done

Myself on the other hand is not so sensible and really don't know when I'm ever going to be.

Question to the wise......

You can only become sober if you really want it. I understand that completely, I quit smoking a few years ago and although for years I wished I didn't smoke, there was only a handful of times I actually wanted to quit and felt strong enough to do it.

Plus also I remember back in 2006 when I had my first alcohol detox. 2006 was the year I first fessed up to someone that I 'might' have a drink problem (took 13 years of daily drinking to get to this step :eek:). The drug and alcohol service must've agreed because they told me to take 2 weeks off work and turn up there every day to get breathalised and be given a daily script for librium. Although I knew I drank too much and admitted it out loud, I don't think I really believed it properly back then. I did the 14 day detox and then managed to abstain for a further 14 days. They were the most miserable 28 days of my life. I was a dry drunk. I didn't want it enough.

Now (after mucho rambling...), my question is... I want to quit drinking, I want it so much. I will continue wanting it for around 5 or 6 hours guaranteed. After this point, my wanting will fade into 'ah a couple won't hurt', then in to 'eff it, I'll do it tomorrow', then into 'oh !!!!!! have I done'

Help?! Please xxx

Right must be off to finish the kids lunches, they wanted cold bacon toasties for lunch, bacon and toast has been cooked and cooled, now I need to put it together :drool:

Have a lovely day, hoping to get out early today, the head has suspended afternoon lessons so that the kids can watch the football!

jo1972

Took me so long to type that message that I missed Lurks, Shaggy, SSG AND Miss P :rotfl:

Morning all :wave:

graemecarter

jo1972 wrote: »

:

Myself on the other hand is not so sensible and really don't know when I'm ever going to be.

Question to the wise......

You can only become sober if you really want it. I understand that completely, I quit smoking a few years ago and although for years I wished I didn't smoke, there was only a handful of times I actually wanted to quit and felt strong enough to do it.

Plus also I remember back in 2006 when I had my first alcohol detox. 2006 was the year I first fessed up to someone that I 'might' have a drink problem (took 13 years of daily drinking to get to this step :eek:). The drug and alcohol service must've agreed because they told me to take 2 weeks off work and turn up there every day to get breathalised and be given a daily script for librium. Although I knew I drank too much and admitted it out loud, I don't think I really believed it properly back then. I did the 14 day detox and then managed to abstain for a further 14 days. They were the most miserable 28 days of my life. I was a dry drunk. I didn't want it enough.

Now (after mucho rambling...), my question is... I want to quit drinking, I want it so much. I will continue wanting it for around 5 or 6 hours guaranteed. After this point, my wanting will fade into 'ah a couple won't hurt', then in to 'eff it, I'll do it tomorrow', then into 'oh !!!!!! have I done'

Help?! Please xxx

Everyone is different, but us alcoholics share very similar feelings.
I'd swear off drinking, and then later on in the day I'd be drinking!! That really frustrated me, but that is the nature of alcoholism.

When I was ready to stop drinking, I started taking action. Before then, I wanted to take action, but never did it.
There is a huge gulf between KNOWING what to do and actually DOING it. The good thinking is useless without a corresponding action.

I prioritised my sobriety, and I had to do that. I had to make time at work, sacrifice social things, not get home as early to see the kids, etc
If I said that I cannot do that, I wouldn't be prioritising it. Thus I wouldn't want it enough. Thus I would drink more until I had sufficient pain to want it enough.
Carrying on drinking would have cost me my job, family, health and life. Maybe not immediately, but over the long term. Thus for the sake of my kids and myself, I had to prioritise my sobriety. I would hate to think that my kids won't have their daddy around as long as possible because he didn't prioritise giving up drinking.
Alcoholism may not have killed me in the short term, but I am sure it would have taken years off my life.
Alcoholism wanted me mad or dead, but it would happily settle for making me miserable. I believe active alcoholism is a very slow and painful form of suicide. I didn't want to kill myself any longer.
Good luck.

DecemberBaby_2

jo1972 wrote: »

Now (after mucho rambling...), my question is... I want to quit drinking, I want it so much. I will continue wanting it for around 5 or 6 hours guaranteed. After this point, my wanting will fade into 'ah a couple won't hurt', then in to 'eff it, I'll do it tomorrow', then into 'oh !!!!!! have I done'

Jo - I feel for you. That describes the way I behave too. It is so frustrating. Your previous detox sounded painful to me. It MADE you physically stop drinking but didn't address the underlying attitude which makes you (and me) want to drink. I understand what Graeme is saying about giving it priority. I hope you find a way.

I'm going to ring a counselling service I would have to pay for. The free one I'm on the list for has such a long waiting list that I despair of every getting to the top if it. I've been waiting 5 months now.
I guess my drinking money would pay for it.

Maman - welcome back and well done!

Marru - Can I join your challenge please? A bit late I know but I'm really keen to try the next few days AF.

:wave: to everyone who's about.

DB x

brokepaolo

Morning !

How is everyone?

I've been computerless for a few days so haven't been able to check in.

I was AF yesterday and will be again today, I really need the clarity of thought because I made a big mistake last thursday. I had a couple of pints after work with my friends and was walking home when my phone rang and it was my ex girlfriend asking if I fancied going out for a drink to catch up. I should have refused but my ever-so-slighlty inebriated mind took over and agreed to meet at a pub nearby. We had a couple of drinks but I hadn't eaten dinner so felt quite tipsy and was reminded of why I found her attractive, it was as though none of the bad stuff had ever happened, we were having a really pleasant time. Then she invited me to go and see her new flat so I went there and well, I ended up staying the night.

That night I couldn't sleep at all, I instantly regretted it. It shouldn't have happened. I asked her that night if she had a boyfriend and she said she was seeing someone but it wasn't going anywhere. I feel bad about that too, I don't want to split any relationships up.

Anyway, needless to say I felt terrible all day at work, having barely slept a wink and with my head all over the place with feelings of guilt and regret. When 5pm finally came around, I texted my ex asking her how she was and saying that I felt wierd about the previous night. She texted back saying that she felt bad too and that it shouldn't have happened. We left it at that but I still felt terrible, I went to meet my sister to watch the England game but barely saw any of it because my mind was elsewhere. I drank a skinful to try and forget all about it but it only made things worse. Strangely, the only positive I could take from the whole thing was that it was comforting to know that I regretted it rather than the other way round and me wanting more.

Saturday was nice, I went to a community fair nearby with some friends and we watched some local bands playing, the weather wasn't great but the innocence of the fair, with all the children playing games, a free barbecue and plenty of interesting market stalls was enough to keep my mind off things and more importantly, stave off any chance of going on an all day booze bender which would have only made things worse.

That night I went for a lovely asian meal and then for some drinks with some friends but afterwards we ended up at a friend's house and I was chatting to her about loads of stuff because I hadn't seen her in ages, but I didn't mention thet business with my ex because I didn't want to talk about it. The trouble was, I ewnded up staying there til gone 5am and the next day I had promised I would go for a big event called Bristol's Biggest Bike Ride which started at 9:30am!

I ended up waking up at my own house(thankfully) at 10:30am and saw that I had 2 missed calls from friends doing the bike ride. I felt terrible because I really wanted to do it, so I went downstairs, made a coffee and tried calling them but they didn't answer, presumably because they were too busy cycling! so I thought to myself 'sod this, Paolo, what else are you going to do with your day? mope about? go to the pub again? feel guilty about the other night again? No, you're going to get on your bike, cycle like a demon and catch up with your friends and enjoy some exercise in the sun for a change!'

So that's what I did, I caught up with my mates after an hour or so of cycling at full pelt, my grogginess from lack of sleep had vanished and I started to really enjoy myself. We cycled a total of 34 miles! then we all went for a big roast dinner and watched the football.

I felt so good that I'd actually gone ahead and done it, I was tired beyond belief but buzzing with pride for doing it. I had a bath and was in bed by 10pm.

Monday and Tuesday I stayed resolutely AF because I didn't want to slip back into feeling how I did on friday and thinking about silly things I can't do anything about and it's been great, even a couple of days abstinence has remarkable benefits on your mood and confidence, not to mention energy levels and alertness.

Last night I watched 'Leaving Las Vegas' as well and boy, oh boy, what an eye-opener that film is. I'd watched it when it first came out but I was a teenager then and it didn't ring any bells but it sure as hell rang them last night, especially the way everyone around Nicolas Cage in that film are so worried and in despair by what he's doing to himself but he doesn't care one bit, he barely even notices it himself. I can so relate to that, I was like that last year when at my worst, it's amazing I still have my friends, my job and any energy at all.

I'd made risotto earlier for dinner, I had bought one of those small bottles of white wine to use for the cooking, I'd only used half of it and could easily have necked the other half just to satisfy the cravings, but the film had the opposite effect I thought it would have on me. I thought I'd watch it and think 'I could do with a drink', but it didn't, it didn't exactly scare me off having a drink either. Better still, I actually completelly ignored the fact I had a bit of wine in the fridge, I didn't want a glass of wine, I wanted to remain clear headed and enjoy the benfits the next day.

And enjoying them I most certainly am.

Marru

Day one behind us and day two 5 hours in, how are peeps doing? Let me know and you will get a star

DecemberBaby
Fay
Lurkio
Marru
Miss Piggy
Newroadahead
Skintscottishgirl

penelopedee_2

Hope everyone is doing ok today

Its my day off which coincided very nicely with the football and some glorious sunshine. I had to pick DS up from school so wasn't tempted earlier, therefore I am declaring an AF day please Miss P.