The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

69chick

Nice and chatty on here this morning...Hi Fay :wave: I too think you are a lovely lady, glad you don't let your Mum get you down..sounds like you have a busy day ahead today x

DH has just taken my girls to nursery, they are going on their 'leavers trip' to a Farm today, then he is brinking in Mcd's breakfast yum then taking ds fishing so I have today to myself till 3pm anyway am sitting here in my pj's and although I have loads I should be doing I just feel like veggin out on the sofa !

Miss P - maybe you could get a kip later on, that is an early start, I would be cream crackered by lunch time if I got up that early

YM when I read your first post I thought that you sound like me, I am usually like, ok tomorrow last day off (so recovery possible) then back to work so I had better get the drink/carp food inside me tonight while I can I am determined not to drink tonight though and If I do it , it will probably be a first to not drink on a Sat Night !!

Am excited about the football tonight, hope its a good game- DB that is really sad about domestic violence increasing so much around the world cup, really really sad, I always think of the poor kiddies as well

The Football memory for me is Euro96 as its the year I got married and we went to watch most of the games in the pub near where dh worked, oh those carefree days

Bismarck

graemecarter wrote: »

I never thought I was selfish. I thought I used to put myself last, and everyone first. In short, I thought I was a great bloke, the epitome of selflessness.

However, I see now that my relationship with alcohol was selfish. I was a better dad when not drinking, but I used to drink. I was a better husband when not drinking, but I used to drink. I was a better employee when not drinking, but I used to drink.
That's how it's selfish. My relationship with alcohol came before everything and everyone.

If alcohol was costing money that would have been better spent elsewhere, that is selfish.
If alcohol was going to take years off my life, that is hugely selfish on my children.

This is my alcoholism though - and I think all addictions are selfish. Gambling, drugs, sex. That's the nature of addiction.

I needed help from others to stop drinking, and there is no shame in that.
Just because I am alcoholic and have selfish thoughts does not mean I am a bad person. I have to take responsibility for my alcoholism however, and not ignore it or wish it away. Addicts may do bad things, but I believe they are ill people, not bad people. Perhaps I think like that to let myself off the hook. Maybe I do??
There is a big difference between being deliberately selfish, and selfish because of an addiction. However, some would say it is selfish not to do something about an addiction.

My first thoughts are nearly always selfish - if someone cancels on me because they are not feeling well, my first thought is 'Thanks a bunch, that's my night ruined'. However, my 2nd thought is 'I hope they are ok' . Thoughts are normally useless without an action.. So if I then ask if I can help in any way and actually do it, then that's fine.
So even if my first thought IS selfish, it doesn't mean that I AM selfish.
We are primarily the product of our actions or inactions, not our thoughts.

Hi all,

I'm going away for a while as the footballs on. Nothing to worry about.

For now, I would like to say good luck everyone.

Graeme - thanks for everything you've said. You write so much that I agree with but there are bits that I wouldnt write so thats great too.

jo, keep at it!

eselt - hope you're Ok

molly- you too.

and this is where I really struggle as there are so many past, present and to be posters that I could take all day and not get to remembering the names. All I will say on that is be happy.

Try with everything you've got. If you give it everything you've got you really can dare to dream the impossible.

Over to you.

Take care.

Bis.

69chick

Well done treepotato1 on staying af yesterday :j....I believe some people with chronic illness find taking canabis helps them (just what I have read though)...I am like you though in that I did smoke (many moons ago) and would hate to go back 'there'....

I really do believe that the reason some of us rely on alcohol/drugs/smoking to relax is to do with masking other problems a lot of the time...and my own personal aim is to stop using alcohol as this crutch to 'zone me out' of my life for the evening....I know I keep saying it but my running is really helping with this one as it is a great stress reliever and mood enhancer....I also don't mind if I maybe have a bar of choc or similar in the evening if I am not drinking as a 'treat' as it is less calories than a bottle of wine but I feel like I have something to look forward to when I have settled the kids etc.

I am currently going through a lot of emotions as our business that my husband works in is closing which means we are having to negotiate with the bank for the business debt to become a personal debt also dh is looking for a new job (down south) so we are going to be relocating back to where I am from hopefully but I have 3 children to sort out a school for (as well as letting ds school know that he will not be back in September and my twins will not be taking their places after all and I absolutely love that school , a house that needs working on and loads of 'stuff' to sort out for storing etc. and all with no money which is why I know that normally I would be throwing the wine down my neck to 'blot it all out' but am doing my best to take a different approach....

omg see what happens to me when I am home alone, I go and offload on this lovely thread :eek:

Anyway I am going to go get a bath now, get dressed and try to sort out a drawer full of memory stuff.....

RecoveringAlcoholic

Have any of you ever used cannabis[STRIKE] instead of [/STRIKE]and alcohol

:j

I have/had friends with Class A, B & C drug addictions. Some have sadly died and others have screwed up their brains.

My advice:

Avoid all mood altering chemicals if possible.


.

yellowmonkey

treepotato1 wrote: »

I agree - friendly debate is A Good Thing! :j:T And we shouldn't let points we disagree with go unchallenged.

Indeed What football ?

yellowmonkey

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate 69 chick

Hope everything works out

jo1972

I haven't read a thing for at least 24 hours, hope everyone's okay, will catch up later when OH goes out

Not doing well on the AF front here, but had a fairly good week so don't know why *confused*

Now waiting patiently for the Trooping of the Colour flypast to fly over my house :cool:

40somethingmum

5 AFS for me MISS P.

I think I will be AF for the next 6 weeks as I have broken my ankle and need 100% concentration to hop around. Also medication I am on does not allow alcohol Don't fancy it anyway:T:T

Fed up though:(

Hope you are all OK.

Love

40SMxx

fedupandskint

fayjmck wrote: »

Waves to sparkles too - I hope the gardens coming on well

Hi Fay,its coming on nicely - still need to clear the bottom part up and find some more planting room, my baskets and pots look lovely

Different_Corner wrote: »

Sparkles, funny how each world cup tells a story of a particular time in our lives. Now 1990 I had just moved in with my late DH

Very true

1982 - camping outside in a friends garden when v.small
1986 - don't remember too well, mexico?
1990 - who could forget Linekar et al and with the song too!
1994 - usa as above
1998 - met ex OH
2002 - watched england V argentina at lunchtime at work
2006 - v.hot journey on holiday
2010 - looking forward to the tournament in a new phase of life

How about anyone else, can you remember the different phases for you?

fedupandskint

Bismarck wrote: »

Hi all,

I'm going away for a while as the footballs on. Nothing to worry about.

For now, I would like to say good luck everyone.

and this is where I really struggle as there are so many past, present and to be posters that I could take all day and not get to remembering the names. All I will say on that is be happy.

Try with everything you've got. If you give it everything you've got you really can dare to dream the impossible.

Over to you.

Take care.

Bis.

Hi Bis, nice to see you posting - hope all is well in the AF world for you.

I am still debating another AF holiday - not sure if it will be yet or not. However I am pleased to announce a 3mth AF period so far.

Off into the garden now while it is fine to tidy up a bit, then have a think about the housework later on