The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

shaggydoo

Morning All :hello:

6 for me please Miss P



Shaggy

jo1972

yellowmonkey wrote: »

All together now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOxRl3CPFkU&feature=fvw

Sorry........:o

I'll get my coat

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :T :T :T

budget_babe wrote: »

I am here

ah there you are :wave:

budget_babe wrote: »

Molls have a fantastic holiday

That Molls text me yesterday, she was laying by the pool supping AF cocktails, it's alright for some huh?

Sim, are you okay? xx

5 for me please Miss P

There was only me and the site manager in work for the whole week last week, everybody else got the week off, I bet they are feeling it today going back to work, for me, it's just another Monday Looking forward to getting today out of the way, I've got to minute a meeting which will probably go on till 6pm (I know that's not late to most of you, but I'm supposed to finish at 4pm - I do start at 8am you know ), which makes it a long day. Plus it's Monday and it's soap night which is major beer bell time. I've tried to prepare as best as possible by taking some total random stuff out the freezer for dinner (total random in that none of us are having the same thing, I've got Hunters chicken, steak in peppercorn sauce and some fishy affair ), I don't think I have to go to Mr T's this evening, hopefully I can go straight home. I've got a carton of Tropicana left and half a bottle of lemonade (oh and loads of ice in the bag )

Isn't it ridiculous, there was me at 6am this morning trying to put a plan in action so that I don't drink alcohol today, to any 'normal' person, this would be seen as excentric behaviour!

Right better get the kids ready and get myself to work, we've got a taster day today for all the new year 7s that are joining us in September, an extra 120 kids on site - if one of those pesky kids sets the fire alarm off I'm gonna go loopy!!

Have a lovely day!

Now...decisions, decisions....do I wear my brand new pointy boots :think:

graemecarter

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Hiya Graeme,

Hope you're having a relaxing weekend

I wish you were my sound, sensible older brother!

After a week off the booze, I ended up buying a 4 pack of Becks, yesterday, when I went to the shop for milk etc..

I've hardly ever drank at home, so this is no good.

After necking the cans at mine, I withdrew £100 from the cash machine, and went straight to the pub, at about 1pm

A real, rough, drinkers pub at that. No good.

Met my Girlfriend, in the same pub, after she'd called me around 2pm

Ended up drinking together, and about 2 hours later, she ended up causing am almighty scene, telling people in the pub I was an alike. V embarassing.

I stayed calm, and we came home.

This morning, felt *fairly* rough. It seems to be affecting me on some, superficial level, less. This is not good.

Girlfriend ended up freaking out this morning, and scrunched my debit card up, so I couldn't withdraw any more money.

I was about to 'run off' to the pub again at about 11am, with the £40 I had left in my wallet, but I stayed calm, and after Girlfriend has calmed down, we sorted a few things out, and I saw sense and stayed put and sober.

No booze today. Minor victory.

Life is still a mess though

Cheers,

Sim x

I think you have the wrong impression of me Sim. I am not cured, and am just normal and sober and sane today. Still have the potential to get very messy

I actually do have a sound sensible older brother, and I still ended up alcoholic. :rotfl:
Living happily with this illness is an inside job - I have to fix me internally, not everything around me

graemecarter

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Hi NRA,

Sorry to hear you've had grief off your neighbour.

My neighbours are a nightmare too!

Wish I could go and live in a croft, in the middle of nowhere sometimes :rotfl:

Try not to beat yourself up about drinking (a feeling I know only too well), as it's a vicious cycle.

Tomorrow is a new day for all of us.

Take it easy

Big bear hugs at ya.

Sim x

Ha, I often think like that.
Too often I think 'other people' are my problem, but truthfully it is not. I am the problem, and the way I react to other people is also the problem.
I need to fix me, not anyone else. If there is one thing that sobriety has taught me, it is that I have no control of other people.

graemecarter

skintscottishgirl wrote: »

I like that, actively turning away from it rather than just hoping for the best. I have been to meetings before on and off, don't know if i will go again or not, but getting to the stage where i might. As Sim said it;s the thought of never drinking again that's scary. I hate that thought. Thanks:)

Me too - that prevented me from getting help for a long time. Thus it compounded the misery.
That's my addiction - my alcoholism was telling me I couldn't possibly live without booze, even though it was gradually destroying my life.

Luckily, I don't have to plan the rest of my life. I can drink tomorrow if I wish. All I do is decide not to drink for one day at a time. Just 24 hours. Then the next day, I make another decision whether to drink or not.
I just need to keep it in the day.

In my experience, my life is much better without alcohol in it, so I find the thought OF drinking scary. Alcohol is a poison in me.

graemecarter

jo1972 wrote: »

Isn't it ridiculous, there was me at 6am this morning trying to put a plan in action so that I don't drink alcohol today, to any 'normal' person, this would be seen as excentric behaviour!

Right better get the kids ready and get myself to work, we've got a taster day today for all the new year 7s that are joining us in September, an extra 120 kids on site - if one of those pesky kids sets the fire alarm off I'm gonna go loopy!!

Have a lovely day!

Now...decisions, decisions....do I wear my brand new pointy boots :think:

To quote Sally Brampton "That’s the black heart of addiction: the more we try to control it, the more out of control it becomes."

graemecarter

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Hi guys,

Have been tossing and turning in bed for a bit.

Yesterday (Saturday) morning was bonkers.

Even before I'd even hinted at going to the pub, I'd asked my Girlfriend for a bit of space (for probably the 10th time).

She completely freaked out, called me a "f'in loser drunk" and a "manchild f'in loser".
She said "I wish you'd die" Hmm, nice that one. Then it was "I suppose you're going to the pub now then" and "You make me want to kill myself"

She then said "I'm sick of this f'in relationship, you f'in freak"

"You don't love me. You never did. I'm just a f'in cash machine to you" (She'd lent me quite a bit of money, to help prevent me from losing my flat in February)
She continued "What are you gonna sell next then? You've sold your phone. Your computer? You haven't got anything of value anyway"

I stayed calm, and said nothing. Was waiting for her to calm down.

I then tried to get the phone off her, and she hit me, quite hard on my arm.

Am still in shock about it I think.

She'd also said prior to this, on the phone, on her way back from London "You're the worst boyfriend I've ever had" and "You're the most flawed person I know"

After she hit me. I went to get the phone,

I don't even know who I was going to call, but I just wanted her out of here, 'cos I'd had enough.

Asked her to calm down, or I'd call the Police.

She continued with the verbal abuse, and so I called 118118 for the number of my local Police Station.

She then grabbed the phone off me.

Eventually she calmed down, and apologised profusely.

She said "I should never had said those things to you. I was being a complete b*tch, sorry. Sorry for hitting you. I've never done that before."

I told her, that as she was so unpredictable, I thought it best if she left.

"Please don't make me go out into the street, in this state. I've nowhere to go" (She lives with her parents, and she has a half dozen friends' she could've called)

I let her stay. Told her I wasn't going out to drink after all, and as I was exhausted, I was going to have a nap.

She joined me, and we had a rest.

She eventually left a few hours later, about 5pm, after apologising again.

I'm still pretty taken aback by it all.

Looking back over the years, I seem to attract Women, who are not good for me at all.

I'm the first to admit, that I can be hard work, due to the drink and depression.

However, I've always seemed to attract, quite controlling, fiery Women.

Looking back, I've put up with way too much rubbish, and I've come to the end of my tether with it all!

Am just realising, that I don't need to put up with this anymore. She also needs constant reassurance, and by God it's draining.

I've asked her time, and time again, to please give me space. She always says that she will, but doesn't.

She's actually started to freak me out, to genuinely scare me.

What on earth do I do folks?

Hope your night was more relaxing than mine.

Cheers,

Sim x

Sim, you are in a tough spot and my heart goes out to you.
I had to stop drinking, and then when I did that, I could regulate my behaviour. When you're an addict, you don't make sensible rational choices.

To quote from an article in the Sunday Times:

Shame triggers guilt, guilt triggers inadequacy, inadequacy triggers self-hatred, and so it goes on in a vicious spiral.

I had to stop drinking for me to put boundaries in place for my own behaviour. When I had done that, I could set them for other people too.
Not that I can control other people, but I made it clear if they behaved in a way I found unacceptable, I would walk away

Miss_Piggy_2

Afternoon all


Still lurking in glumdom here (you're not the only one in a terrible mood Marru!). Just feel bit shattered and a bit low. OH not helped - when I text him earlier to say I was feeling tired and grumpy he text back to say "no change there then". Think he thought he was being funny.:( So haven't replied...think it best not to. Wonder how funny he thinks he is when he gets home and theres no dinner!?:rotfl::D

Been and done Mrs mop job today (delayed from Friday as car was MEANT to go into garage then, but didn't as they cancelled:mad:). So I have to do Mrs Mop today AND friday.

Guess its one of those weeks when everything seems a bit much. I shall get my !!!!! out into the garage tonight and work some frustrations out on the crosstrainer!:D

Miss P
xx

P.s something did just put a smile on my face...Piglet just came up and said he had some ham stuck in his face! (stuck to roof of his mouth when I investigated!:rotfl:)

gien

I've just spent a bit of time catching up with the thread and want to say thanks you to for all the excellent advice and thoughful posts. I've got a lot out of them and I am sure many others have too.

today I feel really dreadful and can't really understand why? I had a couple of glasses of wine last night and was slightly late to bed but nothing enough to warrant feeling this dull and apathetic.

Am contemplating going for a power nap - just half an hour might do the trick for me.

jo1972

I'm in macdonalds

Just thought I'd share that.....