The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

skintscottishgirl

graemecarter wrote: »

Hah, I wish it was that easy. Didn't stop the Americans during prohibition....

I do something every single day to make me walk away from drink, not towards one. It could be speaking to another alcoholic, writing a list of 10 things I am grateful for because I am sober, getting to a meeting, etc
I either am heading towards a drink or moving away from one - there is no standing still for me.
If I don't do anything to protect me from drinking, I am not taking responsibility for me alcoholism, and I am letting my family, friends, and most of all myself, down.

I like that, actively turning away from it rather than just hoping for the best. I have been to meetings before on and off, don't know if i will go again or not, but getting to the stage where i might. As Sim said it;s the thought of never drinking again that's scary. I hate that thought. Thanks:)

SimIsOnTheUp

jo1972 wrote: »

Hugs to NRA and Sim xx

Sim do an inventory of cupboards tonight or in the morning and do a shopping list to get rid of that 40 quid, challenge yourself to see how many meals you can get out of it, before it burns a hole in your pocket with all the wrong things x

Night all x

Good one Jo, thanks.

My Girlfriend offered to go up to Morrisons tomorrow, but I'll probably go myself.

SimIsOnTheUp

Hi guys,

Have been tossing and turning in bed for a bit.

Yesterday (Saturday) morning was bonkers.

Even before I'd even hinted at going to the pub, I'd asked my Girlfriend for a bit of space (for probably the 10th time).

She completely freaked out, called me a "f'in loser drunk" and a "manchild f'in loser".
She said "I wish you'd die" Hmm, nice that one. Then it was "I suppose you're going to the pub now then" and "You make me want to kill myself"

She then said "I'm sick of this f'in relationship, you f'in freak"

"You don't love me. You never did. I'm just a f'in cash machine to you" (She'd lent me quite a bit of money, to help prevent me from losing my flat in February)
She continued "What are you gonna sell next then? You've sold your phone. Your computer? You haven't got anything of value anyway"

I stayed calm, and said nothing. Was waiting for her to calm down.

I then tried to get the phone off her, and she hit me, quite hard on my arm.

Am still in shock about it I think.

She'd also said prior to this, on the phone, on her way back from London "You're the worst boyfriend I've ever had" and "You're the most flawed person I know"

After she hit me. I went to get the phone,

I don't even know who I was going to call, but I just wanted her out of here, 'cos I'd had enough.

Asked her to calm down, or I'd call the Police.

She continued with the verbal abuse, and so I called 118118 for the number of my local Police Station.

She then grabbed the phone off me.

Eventually she calmed down, and apologised profusely.

She said "I should never had said those things to you. I was being a complete b*tch, sorry. Sorry for hitting you. I've never done that before."

I told her, that as she was so unpredictable, I thought it best if she left.

"Please don't make me go out into the street, in this state. I've nowhere to go" (She lives with her parents, and she has a half dozen friends' she could've called)

I let her stay. Told her I wasn't going out to drink after all, and as I was exhausted, I was going to have a nap.

She joined me, and we had a rest.

She eventually left a few hours later, about 5pm, after apologising again.

I'm still pretty taken aback by it all.

Looking back over the years, I seem to attract Women, who are not good for me at all.

I'm the first to admit, that I can be hard work, due to the drink and depression.

However, I've always seemed to attract, quite controlling, fiery Women.

Looking back, I've put up with way too much rubbish, and I've come to the end of my tether with it all!

Am just realising, that I don't need to put up with this anymore. She also needs constant reassurance, and by God it's draining.

I've asked her time, and time again, to please give me space. She always says that she will, but doesn't.

She's actually started to freak me out, to genuinely scare me.

What on earth do I do folks?

Hope your night was more relaxing than mine.

Cheers,

Sim x

Different_Corner

Sim
I don't know what to say really.
You know this situation isn't helping you. At the risk if sounding like Jeremy Kyle, violence of any sort isn't acceptable. Once it starts you don't know what you are dealing with. Good on you for staying calm. I think you need to evaluate the relationship. The happiness factor, because from your posts there doesn't seem to be much. To be honest you turned down your drinking buddy the other week, but is your GF also a drinking buddy ?

I don't mean to be harsh, can only go on your posts, but you really need to look after you first. As you say it's draining you.
Hugs.

shaggydoo

Morning all :hello:

Whoo Hooo - managed a Saturday AF. So 5 for me please Miss P


Sending to all that need them.






Shaggy

fedupandskint

morning all, I woke up at 5.15am and thought I'll go back to bed for a little nap then woke back up at 8.30am! That's the latest I've slept in for ages - I think it was gardening all day that tired me out!

Now have a cuppa to bring me round before tackling my list for the day

Finish off all the cleaning and ironing then wait for the rain to stop to continue to garden

Have a great day everyone

jo1972

I don't normally try to get too involved in the deep stuff on here....but...

Sim, I agree wholeheartedly with DC, I think you need to re-evaulate your relationships, not just with your GF but everyone in your life. You have been living a certain way and in a certain routine for a long time and it is hard to change your patterns. Along the road you've been travelling you've met other people that have fallen into the pattern you are living and unfortunately when you decide to change the way you do things, those people you met along the way don't always fall in to your new lifestyle.

I think you have now come to a fork in the road, you have started to question stuff in your life that you are not happy with. You made the brave decision with your drinking buddy last week and it did you no harm at all, in fact it saved you from a bender and possibly spending a lot of money.

Now you need to look at the rest of your life and decide where you want to go and how you're gonna get there. Are you willing to risk your sobriety, your safer lifestyle, your happiness and possibly your saneness on a few people that are not willing to change with you? It's certainly not easy (and easy for me to say because I'm not a social drinker), but when you look at it from an outside perspective it is amazingly cut and dry.

You are obviously not happy at the moment and keeping the old ways and routines will just keep you in that mindset, the only way forward is to change. I think I'm actually starting to understand GC :eek:

I promise you 100%, even though you may lose people along the way, you will pick up new ones that love you for the life you will soon be living, they won't know your past and will just judge you on the new you

Hope I've not upset you :undecided

Now, what's on that shopping list for today

jo1972

Ah, I know you all wanna know.....this is what I'm cooking today :drool:

Different_Corner

Am declaring 2/5.

Eloquently put Jo. Hope you are today Sim.

Shopping today Jo, I actually fancy Heston's lemon tart..love anything lemon me.

fedupandskint

Great post Jo and that pork looks yummy - making me want to cook it too!