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MSE Parents Club Part 12

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  • jillie1974
    jillie1974 Posts: 6,997 Forumite
    weezl74 wrote: »
    We're all on MSE for our own money saving reasons. It seems to be that IRL people say that children get very expensive as they grow up. How much does everyone feel this HAS to be the case?

    I don't want fergie or kessie to be bullied in school for not having the right things, but I also don't want to have to get branded goods all the time just at the whim of a 10 year old in fergies class with more money than sense. Does this make any sense?

    I'm wanting to decide to drop our income, but I don't want to risk fergie's happiness by not having essential cash...

    Hope anyone can help!

    Love weezl xxx


    i grew up not having any fancy gear or toys etc. i used to say when i have my own child they will want for nothign but after seeing what niece and my friends children get for xmas, birthdays my eyes have been opened!!
    there are things i believe you should spend money on like childrens shoes for example, and then things that you dont need to splash the cash. even wehn we have finished our DMP, there still wont be much cash to splash around the place. i am a firm believer in getting 'big things' for your birthday and christmas. last christmas i recommended things to if they asked, that Kian would actually get some use from. So mum bought him the rocker-toddler chair (life saver), brothers bought him the learn n groove, again life saver. we bought him little things as i knew he was getting hte big things from someone else. of course then MIL went and bought him a rocking-horse that he wont actually be able to play with til he's about 2!! lol!!

    my friend showed me a few years ago her daughter's santa letter, girl was 8 and an sheet of paper had been written. not 1 present per line but at least and the whole page was filled in front and back!! i asked her mum what she was getting and she said 'everything' easily £600+ of stuff i was gobsmacked!! and she was getting a massive present form her mum and dad too...

    rambling a bit here.... sorry

    guess what i'm saying is some things you need to spend cash on for quality but material things will never replace the time that you spend as a family doing things. and i think thats a lot more importnat than having the latest computer game/console/tv in bedroom etc

    i know that it can be harder as children get older with clothes etc but i like beccles idea, show then the 'expensive' thing and then take them somewhere cheaper and let them make the decision.
    ea philip has a widget on his vista :D ..

    looking on OU website ... found a course philip said sounds ok for him but it doesnt start til feb next year ... and me .. ermmm .. next question x


    nice one. what course is philip thinking about doing??

    i'm curious now as to what courses they offer. is it all degrees or can you just do a course??
    'Children are not things to be moulded, but are people to be unfolded'
  • searching_me
    searching_me Posts: 18,414 Forumite
    jillie hes looking at the technology in music .. you can do courses .. have a look x
    :)Still searching .....:)
  • jillie1974
    jillie1974 Posts: 6,997 Forumite
    well, i went to bed with the best intentions of trrying Kian with water when he woke in the night. but DH had the bottle made before i got downstairs to remind him, so milk he had. although, he didnt have a bottle at 11ish liek he usually does. so from tonight will be water.

    DH taken Kian to PIL while i had a lie-on. got up at 11am. bLiss. it would have been SIL birthday today so i dont mind him going to to see them. i could have gone too but decided my bed was more comfy. he has txt to say Kian had his bottle and fell asleep in the travelcot without a soothe which is fab! just need to be disciplined here so we can stop using the soother for good.
    'Children are not things to be moulded, but are people to be unfolded'
  • pinkpig08
    pinkpig08 Posts: 2,829 Forumite
    3onitsway wrote: »
    :j Yey Caitlyn for taking steps. V loves walking around the furniture, or walking around holding onto my one finger, but if you let go, she gets down to crawl!




    I was about to say OH only needs to pay the maintenance, and nothing else. But that would make OH look rubbish in DSD's eyes. :( And then I saw the age of DSD and thought she should have a job - but again, if her Dad tells her that, it makes him look rubbish!


    That's exactly the problem 3. We could be all self righteous and say sorry but your dad pays your mum, we can't afford any more, but that would make him look bad. He can't win. At the end of the day it's her mum he has the problem with, not her, but because she's asked it makes him look rubbish if he says no. He's told her he can't afford a lot because I'm not working now and she seems to understand that, but we have to try and tell her without sounding all ranty about her mother getting all the benefits and maintenance. In a few years time we want to be able to say 'look how good your dad was. He didn't have to to this extra for you but he did because he wants you to have a good start in life and a good career'. I hope that doesn't sound bad because I don't mean it to. Her mother is one who will go to the CSA like a shot for re-assessment if there is any falling out, and also denied for a year that DSD2 stayed over one night a week. I've told him not to lower himself and to just grin and bear it for now.

    Well DSD1 has taken Caitlyn out in the pushchair. She's going to meet her boyfriend and he's coming round for a bit and she asked if Caitlyn would be ok with her. Needless to say I'm phoning every 10 minutes to see if they need picking up!

    We had rain first thing but it's lovely and sunny now.

    SM - looks like you had a brill time at the BBQ! Ours is in the back of the shed and will need a few brillo pads before it's fit to cook on!

    Boo for DH's wokring all the time. Mine is at work today, although he was off yesterday which was nice. He weeded the garden so I could put my plants in. He's taken JOsh with him today too so I'm all on my own till DSD gets back!
    Sealed Pot Challenge #817 £50 banked :)
  • searching_me
    searching_me Posts: 18,414 Forumite
    thanks pp it was fun ... well most of it anyway but too long to explain .. was good in the long run x
    :)Still searching .....:)
  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 41,152 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    weezl74 wrote: »
    We're all on MSE for our own money saving reasons. It seems to be that IRL people say that children get very expensive as they grow up. How much does everyone feel this HAS to be the case?

    They do get more expensive.. but only as expensive as you let them.. DD1 is almost 16.. she NEEDS fewer clothes now she is biger so paying a little extra for them isn't too big a deal.. She doesn't need 3-4 outfits a day any more like toddlers can do.

    They also want to do other stuff.. cinema, nights out (under 1's night ofc), out for food etc.. more money!

    Then instead of being happy with a few lego sets and a couple of books they need a laptop or PC.. and they do NEED one because their GCSE coursework is graded on presentation.. even they stuff they isn't.. they lie.. so if they don't have one each you won't get a look in.. So present times do get more expensive.

    christmas I have always spent maybe £100-£200 on them.. but a couple are getting lapops this year which means I am huning down decent deals.. and I have 3 mobile upgrades so they may get added to those :D.. I'll see what we can come up with.
    jillie1974 wrote: »
    my friend showed me a few years ago her daughter's santa letter, girl was 8 and an sheet of paper had been written. not 1 present per line but at least and the whole page was filled in front and back!! i asked her mum what she was getting and she said 'everything' easily £600+ of stuff i was gobsmacked!! and she was getting a massive present form her mum and dad too...

    We were looking at DD3's christmas list the other day there must be about £10,000 worth of stuff on it.. including a horse with a blue diamond in its forehead!! Needless to say we look at what she is covetting every time she sees it in a magazine or talks about her friend having that sheloves and go from there.. and I am quite sure none of her friends have a diamond studded horse! :eek:
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)
  • delain
    delain Posts: 7,700 Forumite
    I am quite lucky that mine are not too demanding in that respect.

    However my ex-mil has bought my twins a dolls pram each for their birthday, a large M&P one and then had a go at me about how I'm 'not allowed' to keep them outside. I wouldn't have anyway but their bedroom is small and not really big enough for two big doll's prams with everything else, and she knows it's a small house and 5 (soon to be 6) people live here!

    I said maybe she should keep them at her house she said I could keep them in my garage so they could use them all week not just on sundays (when she has them). What does she think we're going to do, take them to school every day?!

    That woman drives me mad.
    Mum of several with a twisted sense of humour and a laundry obsession :o:o
  • searching_me
    searching_me Posts: 18,414 Forumite
    pigpen xmas is always expensive here .. zoes birthday is 3 days before and i refuse to do them together .. everybody else gets them seprate so why should she be different ..

    and yes weezl the price tab really does increase the older they get you should see how much zoe circles in the argos book when it gets close x
    :)Still searching .....:)
  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 41,152 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    pigpen xmas is always expensive here .. zoes birthday is 3 days before and i refuse to do them together .. everybody else gets them seprate so why should she be different ..

    My birthday is boxing day (DD3's is the 19th).. We also have birthdays, 10th, 27th, 28th, 30th x3, 31st x2.. then the January ones start! need I say more?

    Other than.. people are not allowed to get a 'joint present' .. I simply won't allow it.. they wouldn't do that for my others so they can bugle off if they think they can get away with it for her (or me.. and yes I am that juvenile lol) I also refuse to have birthday presents wrapped in christmas paper.. it costs the same in December as it does in July so I want birthday paper.. or none at all!

    My family and KH's family are all trained.. just OH's to do now :p
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)
  • searching_me
    searching_me Posts: 18,414 Forumite
    quite agree pigpen ... and ouch on your purse at xmas x
    :)Still searching .....:)
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