Relationships and money

mark987_2

you cannot leave money and relationships together..then most likely one will cause damage to the other..be honest with your partner, that is a different story but giving access to everything that you have earned is not the wisest thing to do..

Judith_W

Just want to add my 2 pence. A number of ppl here seem concerned about buying treats for themselves from joint money.

our (me and OH) money is rather tight at the mo so can't really get away with having his and hers as we need nearly all of it to meet all the outgoings every month, but we allocate 'pocket money' so we can spend it on whatever without feeling guilty. I often save a couple months and get something bigger, whereas my OH likes getting CDs and going to the pub with mates etc so it works for both of us as when its gone its gone.

Joint stuff like going out for a meal comes out of joint money and comes out of our 'entertainment' pot.

This is just what works for us. I can't get my head around colleagues who may say I'm going on holiday by myself because my OH can't afford' etc, I see it as household income so we can either both afford or neither

mark987_2

as the original post says, dont leave your responsibilities unfulfilled either..have a balance in life..and always have a plan to control the damage in case if something happens..

hope this helped..

SallyBeans_2

I apprecaite what you're all saying, as I've been stung in the past by a nasty little tu*d, and it was a lifes lesson....but you know what, it says more about them than it does about me, or you. Not everyone will mug you off, take my ex for example (I know, I wish someone would - only kidding!)

My ex-boyfriend was always generous and I was to him where I could be. Often if not financially, then I'd cook him a meal (my roast spuds were his favourite) I often spent money on a food shop for us and he always paid his share. Eventhough we're not together now, we're still great friends and he helped me out recently and didn't even want it back. Little does he know that when I get myself properly solvent again, I'll give it back or treat him to something he'd love. We laugh about our past relationship now and the fact we're good mates regardless of who else is in our lives. I always tell him we've got a good friendship out of it and that's more than some. I've learnt a life's less there too. Good AND bad can come our way, trick is to trust and then if you see signs, give them the 'spanish archer' Sgnr. El-Bow!!

strictwithmoney

Just need to find the "RIGHT" woman.

After renting for more than 10 yrs, husband and I bought a house last year. I put down 40% (my money) and OH put down 10% (his money) for deposit on the 4-bed house. This is based on trust and also on the condition that I do not need to work. Now, I am a lady of leisure:rotfl:

OH's salary is paid into our joint account and I gave him £20 pocket money. He left his credit card at home and I do the financial control : http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2269123

Bloomberg

debtstressed wrote: »

Interesting....let's get this straight....

You pay all the bills....
You pay for her car...
You gave her a flat...
She gets all that and rent money to spend as she wishes

No wonder you don't discuss money...you're paying for everything anyway!!:rotfl:


Try telling her you are suddenly skint and see what might happen...:eek:
Am trying to put this delicately....have you ever wondered why so many rich old men have a supermodel girlfirend on their arm. Is it purely coz she loves him? Bet she aint stressing him over why they never discuss the finances round the kitchen table! Why would that be?

By the way...if you're married, and have been for a while, she does have a claim on the marital home and everything else including the balances on your elusive bank statements.....Up to half I think. That's what divorce lawyers do best!

I think you might be setting yourself up for a nasty fall if it ever goes wrong...If I was so well kept you wouldn't hear a peep out of me!

By the way, I think you are missing out on the love and trust aspect of totally committed relationships. Can't put that on a mastercard...it's priceless.

Good Luck!

What you do not understand is that having seperate money is not the same as being tight. I do not begrudge giving my family anything.

Bloomberg

mark987 wrote: »

you cannot leave money and relationships together..then most likely one will cause damage to the other..be honest with your partner, that is a different story but giving access to everything that you have earned is not the wisest thing to do..

If only everyone was as wise as you