Relationships and money

Bloomberg

I have seen many of my friends lose everything when they go through a divorce. By the same token I have seen many people being bled dry whilst in a relationship. My advice would be to anyone who is in a relationship is to NEVER have a joint bank account where both salaries are paid into. Having a joint bank account for bills alongside your own accounts is nowhere near as bad.

Money brings out the very worst in people and for this reason finances should be kept rigidly seperate. My friend met a seemingly nice girl who appeared honest and decent. Neither of them were particularly solvent. He received a twenty five thousand pound inheritance, the girl changed beyond recognition. She started demanding gifts and cash. The relationship subsequently ended and much of the money was squandered.

I have been very lucky in life and it breaks my heart when I read stories on here about people leaving a relationship and owing a fortune which is why I have written this submission. My advice is to ALWAYS keep your finances secret but at the same time ensure that you are meeting your household obligations. Good luck everyone.:)

DarkConvict

I agree money does ruin many relationships because one or both people are overtaken by greed more so than love. Even families get ripped apart by it.

I am actually open about my finances but I maintain a strict control over them, my money is mine and I choose what to do with it. If anyone is out for a handout from me they can go away because i will find out

But all in all i agree joint accounts are a bit of a sod. It is best to have the bills in both names but just use a single account, if they are less trusting and want access to statements then get a joint account with no overdraft where both pay in the monthly bills.

Bloomberg

DarkConvict wrote: »

I agree money does ruin many relationships because one or both people are overtaken by greed more so than love. Even families get ripped apart by it.

I am actually open about my finances but I maintain a strict control over them, my money is mine and I choose what to do with it. If anyone is out for a handout from me they can go away because i will find out

But all in all i agree joint accounts are a bit of a sod. It is best to have the bills in both names but just use a single account, if they are less trusting and want access to statements then get a joint account with no overdraft where both pay in the monthly bills.

Thanks for your reply. Your approach is one way of protecting yourself. I just hate seeing good people being mugged off by cockroaches.

TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain

I pity anyone you ever have a serious long term relationship with..

I'm more than aware how much failed relationships can cost (mine was c.£20k - not married), but would never dream of being so secretive with my now wife.

Bloomberg

TighterThanTwoCoatsOfPain wrote: »

I pity anyone you ever have a serious long term relationship with..

I'm more than aware how much failed relationships can cost (mine was c.£20k - not married), but would never dream of being so secretive with my now wife.

How can you say that you would pity anyone who I have a long term relationships with? You do not know how I treat my wife. Just for the record I bought her a car which I fully expense, I pay all the household bills and she wants for nothing. Just because she does not know my financial details does not mean that she needs pity. We are happily married.

If after getting tucked up for twenty grand you still do not subscribe to my viewpoint then you will never learn. Those who do not learn from history repeat it.

Being secretive is not the same as being tight and begrudging, you seem to have confused the two. My wife and I pity you for being a mug and letting your psuedo lover take you for twenty large. WAKE UP MATE. :laugh:

Happytogetdebtfree

I have a joint account and both pay wages in and bills out, I don't see it as a negtive thing and I'm happy to share my finances with my husband after all I'd you can't be honest with your best friend who can you be honest with. I do see where your point is but it's not the standard for everyone, for me a joint account is much less hassle and I have nothing to hide :-)

Bloomberg

Happytogetdebtfree wrote: »

I have a joint account and both pay wages in and bills out, I don't see it as a negtive thing and I'm happy to share my finances with my husband after all I'd you can't be honest with your best friend who can you be honest with. I do see where your point is but it's not the standard for everyone, for me a joint account is much less hassle and I have nothing to hide :-)

I totally respect what you have written. If it is not broken then why fix it? All the best.

Happytogetdebtfree

Thank you, don't get me wrong a joint account with someone you just met crazy but fo longterm living a joint account suits me. Sorry your friend lost alot of cash to a partner, my motto is peope united will never be defeated haha while we are on the same dfw track the joint accounts smooth if he suddenly started wanting to spend 1000s of joint expenses I'd be considering splitting the bank. Hope your wife is happy with her car :-)

brokeinyorkshire

Bloomberg wrote: »

How can you say that you would pity anyone who I have a long term relationships with? You do not know how I treat my wife.

If after getting tucked up for twenty grand you still do not subscribe to my viewpoint then you will never learn. Those who do not learn from history repeat it.

Being secretive is not the same as being tight and begrudging, you seem to have confused the two. My wife and I pity you for being a mug and letting your psuedo lover take you for twenty large. WAKE UP MATE. :laugh:

Not very nice.

Although tighter was a bit abrupt in his reply.

It must be nice up there on your cloud!

You may have been very lucky in your life but a lot of people aren't!

I tend to agree with your point of view but you should know that people being people don't always listen to advice given. Especially unsolicited advice...

Nottoobadyet

Though the tone isnt friendly, I sort of agree with Tighter. How many people on this board have lost years of their lives to debt that their partners ran up in secret? Secrecy about finances should ring alarm bells, though theres nothing at all wrong about keeping your finances seperate. I keep my finanaces seperate from my partner after 5 years together, but I'd be worried if he was unwilling to tell me anything about his financial situation, and he can of course expect the same from me.

Bloomberg

brokeinyorkshire wrote: »

Not very nice.

It must be nice up there on your cloud!

You may have been very lucky in your life but a lot of people aren't!

I tend to agree with your point of view but you should know that people being people don't always listen to advice given. Especially unsolicited advice...

I accept what you say that my article was a little harsh. The reason why I was somewhat annoyed is because I have worked so hard to give my wife and children everything and he said that he has pity for my wife.

When I say lucky I do not mean born with a silver spoon in my mouth, far from it. I was referring to certain very risky/silly business deals which against all odds paid off. All the best.