I want a baby but.....

timeforme_2

I'm an avid lurker on the forums (have been for a while) but have only rencently joined. Please don't think I'm a troll, just after some advice.

So, as the title says: I want a baby but I am single and unmarried:sad: (single since last July when ex cheated on me - we were planning a baby this year but he left for someone else:mad:)

Thats obviously the major flaw. I am 28, have my own flat, a very good job (with fab maternity benefits!), brilliant family and friends, a good life in general but the one thing I have craved since I was a teenager I dont have.

What do I do? A sperm donor? Wait till I meet someone?
Has anyone had this and how do you cope with it?

thank you
TFM

GEEGEE8

I would wait til you meet someone tbh. Start worrying when you are in your mid thirties..

gratefulforhelp_2

You've theoretically got seven years before your fertility begins to decline. Its hard on your own, was a single mum to a tiny baby and working full time and its pretty relentless.

Its also really really fantastic.

Huge good luck with what you decide.

To check if you're ready, set your mobile to wake you up on the hour every hour for a working week and see if you still like the idea!!

timeforme_2

haha thank you Grateful - I've regularly looked after my nieces and nephews since they were tiny!

What if I dont meet someone....

gratefulforhelp_2

Its different when you can hand them back though, didn't mean to be patronising.

How much effort are you prepared to put into meeting someone, and how exacting are your requirements?

timeforme_2

I've been on a couple of dates but most have fizzled out due to having nothing in common/them being married!/only after a s***!
I have an active social life, lots of friends etc but dont want to come across the 'desperate friend'!

Where are all the decent men?!

boopopps

One thing I will say is, you think you have plenty of time but this is not always the case, not everyones body is the same. I am only 34 and have had to have an hysterectomy, now I will never have children.

You do what you feel best for you, that special someone may not come in time.

Good luck in whatever you choose.

gratefulforhelp_2

Its a good point, boopopps hugs. timeforme its the eternal problem, there are lots of lovely men, but maybe you are not going to the right places to meet them, or you are giving the wrong signals to make them think this is all you are up for?

You are very young to be worrying about this stuff too much, and marry in haste repent at leisure. I did at 28!!

squirrelchops

Don't worry about it all yet. I am 33 and only met who I consider to be right guy when I was 30. Planning on kids in next year or so.

pigpen

What do you feel is right for you?

We can all say we would do 'this'.. but we aren't you.

do you want a man/marriage/relationship.. or just a baby?

I think men are more work than a baby anyway lol.

Money_maker

Have a friend who at 37 had no partner but wanted children. She went to Harley Street, chose her 'donor' and now has 3 children. At the time I admired her for what she did - now I have second thoughts. She is quite a cold person and every weekend and school holiday the kids are sent over to their 'granny' who has been more of a mother figure than she ever will be.

Be careful what you wish for and be patient, at your age anything may change.