Pay off mortgage and start having fun!

newgirly

Hi greent, I think most of us agree you should change rent as for the cooking , at the moment he is more like a visiting guest but that would have to change, having my dinner cooked sounds like a plan

AlexLK

newgirly wrote: »

Hi Alex, if I am going to give any money for a deposit for a property in the future ( my dd I still only 19 and we are in greater London, so it could be a lot in the future!) I would give it to my dd not her boyfriend. The question i asked you was if you ŵould feel happy living a a girlfriends house and NOT paying rent - which you skirted round!

I'm sorry but I can't believe you don't see the connection between paying your way and managing your financial affairs, I think it's crucial. Also my idea of "paying your own way" is not managing a monthly allowance but earning at least some of it yourself, what feels better - doing a day's work and being handed over the reward or someone else earning the money and handing you over an allowance so you don't have to?

This is not meant to be a personal dig at all, but I went through a similar argument with my dad this year who wishes my dd to have a large allowance for spending. - she turned it down and is out there doing what ever work she can get and I'm glad of that as it makes her more driven. In the future when she has a good job , works hard and is paying her way, then he can give her as much as he wants as she won't "need" it as much , same with the boys.

If they are in a serious relationship taking money from his deposit is effectively the same as taking money from your daughter's deposit. Of course, it does depend on how serious they are about the relationship and their attitudes to long term relationships / marriage.

As for me, I wouldn't be comfortable with living with a girlfriend's parents. That was my answer.

I think university aged children should be concentrating on their studies and having a good time rather than being concerned about money and the need to earn it. In my opinion, an allowance gives them some freedom to move away from home whilst helping them to learn about managing a budget.

gallygirl wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Oh dear Alex................ how much money have you had from your parents over the years :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Hilarious, Gally.

I wasn't talking about money but about teenagers expecting to have laundry done for them or parents to be tiding up after them.

newgirly

It's not the same at all Alex, effectively giving him money for a deposit is not the same as giving it to dd. They may stay together but they may not and we have three children to provide for so I think they should always be priority.

Still disagree on the allowance front too, you can have plenty of fun still not getting handouts, she is only at home as she wanted to study in London where many of the theatres and attractions are (where she wants to work) we are in London so 20 mins a day on the the train or £2500k pm to live in!

Dd has been out tonight earning money for herself working for an events management company, managing actors on stilts and fire eaters outside the roundhouse in Camden and signing in guests to a show. Most guests were from other counties and pretty friendly and chatty. As an employer I would have thought it helps to see work experience along side the degree. If she wanted to be out clubbing and drinking tonight she could have been.



I think we may have to just accept we don't agree

newgirly

We are now not off to Lincoln dh worked until 11.30 pm on a very well paying new job which needs to go out Monday. It's still not done but we agreed on still going away and coming back early Monday.

I got up early and noticed dds door open, walked in and her there was a half of her ceiling on her bed :eek: it's paper and plaster not the actual ceiling thank goodness, I saw it was coming away slightly at the corner the other day and though that's another's thing to put ont he to do list. Wow the panic though , I thought I'd killed her. She was asleep downstairs on the sofa, she was more put out that we didn't wake up during the night. I feel like the world worst mum and burst into tears. Anyway it's given dh the excuse he needed to cancel and go back to work, I must say I am a bit relieved as I'm so tired and don't have to drive there now.

Plan for the day now, i don't know! Dh didn't need my help as he has ds2 , so it may be Xmas movies.

CathT

Good news about the well paid company job.

Hope the ceiling repair isn't too costly, what a blessing dd wasn't in there.
Everything happens for a reason. Try and have a relaxing day.

newgirly

No cath she WAS in there :eek: it fell on her so she moved to the sofa, plus the cat was with her, both cat and dd are fine thank goodness.

Kittenkirst

Oh goodness, thankfully it was the paper and plaster only!!!

Do you think it'll take much to repair?

newgirly

Hi kitten kirst, it all needs plastering again but it was in the plan to move her out for a bit and strip the whole room and re wire /plaster/carpet etc. When we paid the mortgage off! She currently has one half of the ceiling smooth white plaster, the other half now white artex which was underneath.

CathT

Oh gosh newgirly, I read it as her being on the sofa as her being downstairs!

newgirly

No unfortunately not cath!

I'm not feeling too frugal at the moment, I'm not overspending buying anything it's just I seem to have said yes to various nights out in December at the last minute which I have not budgetted for. Very bad