Pay off mortgage and start having fun!

newgirly

Hi daisy thanks for posting I appreciate your input You have said some things which I felt but sometimes I chicken out of posting everything I want to say

I think ground rules are the most essential thing, he is kind and probably more tidy than me really, it's the rest of the family I need to pull their weight! My only Issue is his very long showers, so I may look at shower timers as dd has already had a word and he improves for a bit hen gradually it wears off

AlexLK

I honestly cannot think of an ex-girlfriend's family that I'd want to have lived with. As for living with my in-laws I couldn't imagine anything worse apart from living on some crime-ridden sink estate. :rotfl: I can understand he may wish to pay his way but as a parent I'd feel extremely awkward effectively taking money from their deposit for a house. If he offered, I'd thank him for the offer but tell him to put the amount towards their deposit.

Really cannot see why any young adult would not be taking care of themselves. Nor can I see how taking their money to live in the family home is going to help them to manage their money in the future. When my family and I move to my parents' house, they have no expectation of "rent".

:eek: Re. your mother's house. We have a cleaning lady come twice per week now but before she started coming we vacuumed once per week, can't imagine it even picks anything up if done multiple times per day.

Daisy, I do not have any plans to give my son a large sum of money to do with as he wishes when he is of university age. My parents did this and I was extremely irresponsible. I'd rather not take that risk so he will be provided with a monthly allowance and expected to move away for university to experience somewhere different and learn how to pay his way. However, there will always be a home for him to come back to and if he is in a serious relationship (by serious I mean he wishes to marry), I would be OK with his girlfriend staying.

newgirly

Hi Alex, if I am going to give any money for a deposit for a property in the future ( my dd I still only 19 and we are in greater London, so it could be a lot in the future!) I would give it to my dd not her boyfriend. The question i asked you was if you ŵould feel happy living a a girlfriends house and NOT paying rent - which you skirted round!

I'm sorry but I can't believe you don't see the connection between paying your way and managing your financial affairs, I think it's crucial. Also my idea of "paying your own way" is not managing a monthly allowance but earning at least some of it yourself, what feels better - doing a day's work and being handed over the reward or someone else earning the money and handing you over an allowance so you don't have to?

This is not meant to be a personal dig at all, but I went through a similar argument with my dad this year who wishes my dd to have a large allowance for spending. - she turned it down and is out there doing what ever work she can get and I'm glad of that as it makes her more driven. In the future when she has a good job , works hard and is paying her way, then he can give her as much as he wants as she won't "need" it as much , same with the boys.

newgirly

December already, I'm half way through putting up he decorations as I might as well do it and then housework afterwards. I woke up to the sound of Xmas music yesterday morning, went downstairs and there was a musical carousel on the table with a card from the kids and dh wishing me a happy December so sweet, they all chipped in to buy it

Plan today is take friend to see fantastic beasts as she is not keen on driving so wouldn't not go otherwise, make lunch first and clean up the house, better get a move on.

Moneyfordreams

How lovely from your children

I think £200 a month is a fair amount for an employed adult

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

Really cannot see why any young adult would not be taking care of themselves.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Oh dear Alex................ how much money have you had from your parents over the years :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Muser1

Was just thinking the same GG.

NG I might have this wrong but is there a child in this too. I seem to remember dds bf having a daughter? How would he manage that?

Also I think £200 is fair. I'd ask him to provide any food you don't buy usually that he needs (he's vegan right?)

newgirly

Hi muser, yes he has his dd once a week. Usually he spends a few hours just with her and then they see dd for a bit afterwards, they always go out somewhere but will often come to ours for dinner or a movie later on, guess it will continue in the same way but they will be at ours a bit more often, as it's just a few hours a week I don't mind that so much.

Also he didn't last long as a vegan and has been veggie for quite a while so he eats what i do as I'm usually just cooking for me , sometimes they will buy a bit of food out and about though.

greent

My bf (now husband) moved in with my parents when I was 20. He'd been staying most weekends before but when they moved house he moved in. As it was then a formal arrangement he was charged 'rent', the same as me. He wasn't a short term/ infrequent guest then, but a member of the household and expected to contribute as such. We were saving for our first house (bought just over a year later) but would not have dreamed of not paying anything to my mum - I think it is right and proper that children do that when earning - it's a life lesson about things cost. When your children are children and not earning (or earning part time whilst at college/ uni) that's a different matter. When they are out in the adult world of work then they need to start contributing. I think the vast majority of people on MSE (and not on MSE) would agree with that viewpoint.

Another veggie in the household will be good on one level - and he may even cook things for you sometimes! (??- am I being too hopeful!?! )

xx

newgirly

We are going away for the night tomorrow and I feel so behind with everything, I was hoping to have Xmas wrapped up but at this rate I'll be glad if the house is clean before we go.

Today's to do list:

Do all washing

Make sure we all enough clothes for next few days

Do all ironing if time

Clean house

Pack

Top up food shop - left it to late to get free Tesco delivery today via plan as slots all gone , what an idiot!

Strip all beds

Take off dodgy chipped nail varnish and re do before going away

Check bank accounts

Print off meal voucher to take away (buy a gift £20 three courses plus drink at Prezzo for two )

Check if there is a Prezzo in Lincoln town centre :rotfl: