Pay off mortgage and start having fun!

CathT

Brilliant mindset paying the extra to knock a month off. As your term is short that is a huge achievement.

I know you have had difficult times of late Newgirly but you also help other focus too, myself included. I am setting myself a mini-challenge a la Newgirly style

newgirly

Fantastic muser, hope they are ok!

newgirly

Hi cath, not sure why but I did not see your post yesterday, thanks and what mini challenge are you going to do?

Just logged onto the gas /elec (am with ovo who are good) and now my account is £147 in debit, so I have upped the dd from their recommended £147 pm t o £160pm and have made a one off top up of £84 , as eric's tax rebate cheque arrive for £84 yesterday.

The heating is off, we are out all week so my only culprits must be the energy hogging teenagers who take day long showers and leave everything switched on, if only I had a basement, I could lock them in it and save a few pounds :rotfl:

Dh working again today, I am cleaning and hopefully watching a fim with ds2 ( currently still out after a sleepover at a party , I hate those!) yesterday we watched rear window as i am working on one of my bucket list aims- to watch 40 of imbd's top 250 films of all time. My kids have good taste in films usually , so i will let him choose.

More shopping done yesterday, £24 in aldi, need to update figures and then stop spending or we will run out of money by dec and have to eat beans on toast (and cheap beans at that)

newgirly

Ds1 wants me to take him to a boot sale, i am very warm tucked up in bed. What should I do, a lovely lie in or trapsing round a field looking for second hand video games?

The guilt factor has won, I am getting up.

newgirly

I did take ds1 to the bootsale yesterday, it has to be the biggest in the country its vast, he didn't buy anything but I got 10x fake henry hoover bags for £3.50 and 10x orange little drawstring pouches with cobwebs on for halloween table favours £1.

Dh's moods very up and down at the moment, he is a lovely kind person but totally changed by stress. Its all so much pressure, in these situations it's so much easier having more money to spend. Go out and have a meal as a distraction etc.

I am very mindful of how little we are spending at the moment, when the kids were younger it was easier, parks, friends over, we even had saturday night parties with just the five of us (party food in front of the tv basically) it did not take much to entertain them. Now we are lucky to get them all at home to eat a meal at the same time.

Think I am just feeling a bit sad that they are getting older so fast and the things I would like to do to make the most of this time, we can't afford. I would love to take them abroad on holiday, they have only been once years ago. Its just going to be such a long hard slog even surviving the next 6 and a half years, even if we do my babies will be all grown up and doing their own thing.

Being a sahm with no money and three small kids feels very different to going to work with teens and having no money, most people seem more financially sorted by now. I had to have the talk yesterday abiut gas/electric again, I know I am just feeling sorry for.myself but we are both working hard and the heating won't be on again much this year.

Apologies for.the miserable mobday morning pity party

Tilly_MFW_in_6_YRS

Morning NewGirly, given the stuff you're dealing with, I'm not surprised you feel a bit low.

Your gran, work, kids facing different things due to their age, money - but you are making progress. You have OPd this month and found extra to OP. You try to plan things at low cost for the family and even though you have all this carp going on, you are thinking of your family all the time.

Take care and be kind to yourself.

Best wishes Tilly x x

Darpett

Hi NG,

Sounds like it's really tough and you are doing a lot of the supporting with not a lot coming back.

This may sound pretentious but the way we approach spending and saving is set really early on, (can be tested around the age of 4-5 years old) some of us find aiming for long term goals easy but at the sacrifice of stuff now, some of us find it much harder to sacrifice stuff now for later targets. It's just the way we are wired.

I am pretty much at the 'save at the expense of spending now' and you seem from what I read (an observation not a criticism) to struggle with meeting the long term stuff to get rewards now which makes it much harder for you to not spend than for me. Overriding our wiring can be hard and both approaches have their positives and negatives.

Everyone is entitled to have bad days, you certainly have nothing to apologise for, you are doing really well under really challenging circumstances.

Everything you OP now, even if you don't always make your targets, will help towards creating more options in the future.

Keep going think of Eric...

greent

Hang on in there, ng, whilst you may be feeling down you're doing well xx


Will the teens be up for things like family game nights? I know we have 2 small ones who really enjoy this - but our teens do, too - getting all competitive about it Throw in a bag of popcorn and a large bag of something like bacon fries (those things like frazzles) from Aldi and we're set for an hour or two at very little cost and usually have good fun and it feels like 'good' family time spent together. Or we (nearly) all sit and watch Dr Who together (usually smallest one is in bed then and second smallest gets to stay up later as a treat) and then chat about it afterwards - again, it's time spent together doing the same thing at little/ no cost, rather than by doing something at a £ cost. Teens are harder in that respect - it's easy to let them do their own thing, especially if I'm tired and/ or busy, I find - as they're relatively independent.


Will the boys get competitive about cooking, as they're the same age? - could you set them 'bake off' challenges or 'masterchef' challenges one afternoon/ night a week to come up with something - will be helpful to you in that they are cooking, not you - and it's a good life skill for them - and they might find something new to try? Or 'ready steady cook' challenges from the storecupboard? My friend does this on a weekend with her two boys and they get quite fired up about it.


No idea if they help with chores at all, but if you're feeling the pressure yourself, then all 3 could take on some tasks if they don't already - again, life skills and future housemates/ partners will thank you - and they will learn that things have to be worked for (eg: if you want food cooked then help, if you want to wear ironed clothes, then help, etc etc)


((hugs)) xx

newgirly

Thanks for the kind words everyone, I feel quite embarrassed now!


Greent, some good ideas there, the boys are currently at the "I can't be bothered" stage which dd didn't really go through in the same way. Cooking together is way to optimistic I imagine unfortunately, but board games may be worth a try as they do like monopoly but are VERY competitive and the board often ends up on the floor! Doing the chores is some thing I have been very laid back about, that does need to change for their benefit as much as mine.


Hi Darpett, many thanks for popping in and posting, you have raised an interesting point. I have always been a "how much left in the bank account to spend" type person, you are very correct. The only difference now is the conscious decision to pay or overpay what we plan to, then there is a much smaller allocation left to live off , but the same thing applies as I will spend it all. Are we born like that or is it learned behaviour? my parents are a nightmare and have always been spenders but have just kept upping the income to cover it. Some of the financial advice given was suspect to say the least!


My new laptop has arrived so I am a bit happier this evening, its blue just like eric was who has paid for it, when I logged in to set it up, it asks what you want your laptop to be known as, so of course I now have another Eric. only problem is the little smiley faces don't work, does anyone know how to fix it please?

Ali-OK

How about card games too? Using both hands so no snacks just drinks We used to play Chinese Whist, Murder and Newmarket (with 1p's so maybe not a good MSE one!) Always a fun family night that us kids looked forward to rounded off with building a card house and my DB still does it with his DW and two 20+ year olds