Pay off mortgage and start having fun!

never_too_old

I agree with you NG, its a lonely journey.you can see the benefit of being poor now but others don't. You have done so well ,you would have been in a worse position if you hadn't started being more frugal.

When we were away last weekend i asked OH if he knew how much we owed people he doubled it,because he doesn't have a clue .It would be easier if we did it together because then it wouldn't be just me saying no.

Hope your OH feels better but the current economic climate isn't helping anyone at the moment.
Keep going i know its hard,i'm the first person to spout my frustration.

take care
nto
x

pink_poppy

That SVR is shocking ~ I thought I was getting a raw deal with 3.5%.

Sorry to hear your DH is suffering from stress My DH is the same atm & he's horrible to live with at times, it's work related as well. It does seem to be that if our home life is good then he can cope with things better so I just try & keep things calm (ish) with the kids etc. & try not to put any pressure on him. Getting out of the house on a weekend is a must, even if it's just a walk around the block, as he's stuck inside at work during the week ~ goes to work in the dark & comes home from work in the dark, bound to be a bit miserable really.

Did you manage to get out last weekend?? I seem to remember you were going to try & do something. Maybe have a family snowball fight today, build a snowman, go sledging or just a lovely family walk in the snow?? Fun & hopefully a few laughs to help forget the stresses of work. I've said I'll go for a walk with my DH this morning, just the two of us as DD1 is out & DD2 has a cold, will give us some time together as a couple & the opportunity to talk.

Hurdler

Stress is a horrible thing, and I succumbed for the first time in 18 years of working, and it was instrumental in my applying for voluntary redundancy, and eventually finding my way on here.
It still feels like a stigma. I wouldn't dare admit to having had time off for stress in my new company, and they put work first before their families, as is their culture.

I hope he does feel more settled soon, and it is absolutely right that you need one thing constant and stable in your life - so if home life is ok, then work stress is manageable... just.
But with a lot of support.

I hope things get better soon.

newgirly

Thanks everyone, its just been a rough weekend so far, the more stress in the house the more the kids bicker and play up, but I guess you don't always see the connection.
Dh late boss was also incredibly stressed and used to work long hours, sometimes through the night, I really thought dh would be more aware as things did not work out well for him.

dh has just taken them out to play in the snow instead of football today, they meet a friend and his son every sunday. I have suggested a walk in the snow when it starts to get dark, it looks magical then , fingers crossed they will all come.

I have spent the morning a bit upset, but did some baking and feel a bit more human now. I made flapjacks, fairy cakes, tea loaf and nutella& oreo cakes, I now don't feel like cooking lunch though!

Pink poppy, we just popped into town last week, plus had a few teenagers round, very relaxing-not! We were supposed to go to the in-laws today, but cancelled because of the snow.

Thanks for the support re the mortgage, you plod along for quite some time things ticking over ok, and every now and then it just seems to be alot harder to keep it up. we have failed quite dismally so far this year by changing the car, hopfully it was the right choice as we can do more with dd if she can bring a friend along, be it a holiday or day out sometimes. I think you can't win , i feel guilty if i op and don't spend more on everyone and guilty if i spend and don't op!

pink_poppy

Hope you manage to get out for your walk later. We were out for about an hour this morning & it was lovely ~ sunny & crisp ~ I definitely felt better for it even if the conversation was mostly about DH's work.

Anyway, you sound like you've had a productive day, do you do baking for packed lunches or just naughty treats??

newgirly

The kids went out for hours this morning and then I got caught up cooking/washing etc. so didn't go out in the end as they didn't want to get cold and wet agin.

I am not doing anything else today except watch sunday tv and pinching one of dh's beers. Made some homemade soup for lunch so at least I have not spent any money this weekend on food, so its not a total washout.

feel a bit bad as have spent lots of time moaning on my diary and not checking in on everyone else's, will do that tonight as well.

Sepa74

Hi NG, you sound really down. Just take things one day at a time, and remember that being debt free means you don't need to stress about money! That's the theory, anyway, lol.

40th birthdays only come around once, and a friend of mine who has just had hers told me yesterday that she was really depressed on the day... intimations of mortality and all that.

I guess what I'm saying is that they are a good reason to splurge and put the OPs on hold for a couple of months - both your DH and your friends. It's great you have the luxury of having that choice if that is what is best for you and your family and friends.

Like others, I would strongly question whether or not your friend will prefer a disco, or whether she would prefer some pampering time or maybe some baby-sitting vouchers or something else! You and your friends know her best, so just keep dragging them back to the fact that the birthdays is HERS, so the present, whatever it is, needs to be about her, not them!

I hope you feel a bit brighter soon.

newgirly

Thanks sepa, will try and maybe suggest a few smaller ideas so we could do a few more birthday treats for our friend, rather than just one.

DH is difficult , the only thing he really wants is a bmw z4! that means holding off the ops for a fair while I think
I might have a word with my mum tomorrow as they have a lovely big garden with a large decking area at the bottom which we have used for kids parties before, she might be persuaded to lend us her garden for a party possibly, its my parents 40th anniversary and my brothers 30th the same week as dh's 40th. I do enjoy planniing a party and decorating.

stressedshopper

Why not point out to DH that if you stick to the plan to be MF in the next 8 years just think how much 'spare' money you could have when he is 50 !!;)

newgirly

Friends 40th sorted! We are booking a party at a local pub , paying for everything except the drink, but it turns out she wanted something with lots and friends and partners not just a girls night out.

I have suggeted we could do something like that for dh's 40th, so we will see how this one goes first, but they have live music on a sat night , so it should have a bit more atmosphere than a hall.

I've had ds2 off yesterday ill and cleaning cancelled today due to friends boy ill, now it's been re arranged to tomorrow straight after my personal trainer :eek: will i manage it i wonder

Its very icy out and I am about to go for a long walk with my friend as we were told to do an hour A DAY exercise this week, and have not done any yet.
DH has left loads of work i have to get done today, but i'm hoping to get a bit of time to check out mortgages again and go through my budget.