Helping someone with Post Natal Depression.

Swan_2

I've speed/skip read this thread, it's late & I need to go to bed soon, but my story might give some others hope

anyway, after the birth of my first child in the 70's I suffered a full-blown Post Natal Psychosis ... PND wasn't even recognised then, never mind psychosis. I was misdiagnosed & prescribed valium/diazepam for 7 years

I was completley out of touch with reality, suffered mental & visual hallucinations, lived in a constant state of anxiety (as in attacks) every waking moment. I was never suicidal, I never wanted to harm myself or my son, but I was obsessed with certain things (which I won't go into here) & afraid to read newspapers or watch TV in case I saw some reference to those terrifying things
I imagined that I had discovered 'the truth' & that it was so awful that I couldn't tell anyone else, because it would 'infect' them & spread this horror to the rest of the world ... I could go on & on & on with more detail, but won't, I'm sure you get the gist

eventually, without any treatment other than the tranquilisers, & by degrees, I began to recover & when my son was 12 I had another child. I told the doctors what had happened to me & they monitored my situation
when my daughter was a few weeks old, I began hallucinate again, my partner took me straight to the doctor & I was prescribed anti-depressants. I didn't want to take them because I was convinced they wouldn't help (I knew something everyone else didn't :rolleyes:) but my partner 'made' me take them. I spent 10 days feeling even worse (this was pre-Prozac days) then on the 11th day, the weight lifted, I could function again, it felt like a miracle

cutting it short now ... I came off the medication after a year & was fine, I had my youngest son when my daughter was 2 & I had absolutely no recurrence of the symptoms after his birth

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there is life after PND/PNP no matter how bad it is at the time, & believe me I was as mad as a hatter

the good news is that my youngest is 19 now & I'm well
if I can recover from that nightmare, with the help & support of good friends & good doctors, anyone can :A

jellyhead

although i'd never encourage anyone onto medication, and there are some horrendous stories (but also some awful outcomes where medication isn't used, my aunt killed herself because of PND when her 3rd baby arrived) - 9 months on an antidepressant that suited me did me a lot of good. the 3 weeks i spent on the wrong one could have ended badly though, if you start taking medication somebody has to be aware of the side effects you might have and able to step in if you go a bit bonkers (sorry, was trying to avoid terms like that but if swan can say mad as a hatter i can say bonkers :rotfl:). nowadays it isn't a lifelong addiction, 9 months was enough for me and my sis was on prozac for less than 2 years.

Swan_2

jellyhead wrote:

although i'd never encourage anyone onto medication, and there are some horrendous stories (but also some awful outcomes where medication isn't used, my aunt killed herself because of PND when her 3rd baby arrived) - 9 months on an antidepressant that suited me did me a lot of good. the 3 weeks i spent on the wrong one could have ended badly though, if you start taking medication somebody has to be aware of the side effects you might have and able to step in if you go a bit bonkers (sorry, was trying to avoid terms like that but if swan can say mad as a hatter i can say bonkers :rotfl:). nowadays it isn't a lifelong addiction, 9 months was enough for me and my sis was on prozac for less than 2 years.

I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt jellyhead, it's terrible that such a situation should develop in this day & age
the psychiatrist monitoring me during my second pregnancy told me that in earlier times women actually simply died of PND, it was called a 'decline' in the Victorian era

I agree though that medication isn't for everyone & if you can manage & get well with other forms of support then that's fine. but there are so many differing situations & degrees of suffering, that each case has to be treated on it's own 'merits'

from my present rational point of view, I know that if I fell into that pit of bottomles despair again, I'd be straight round the doctor's demanding medication, & frankly I'd take it for the rest of my life to avoid being in that state again
but part of my illness was that I was convinced nothing could help me. I was so fortunate to have people around me who made sure I was correctly treated

I feel so lucky to be well & I'm glad you & your sister have recovered too


PS I figured it was OK to talk about myself in Mad Hatter terms

foreverskint

If it's anyhelp Jellyhead, mu OH half calls my Antidepressants, my spanner pills:rotfl:

I can laugh about it, but over three years of PND I have learned to take the ups and downs. I am currently in a down period, although these are now getting less frequent.

All I can say is that if you have depression of any sort, it is often only you that can make the choice to get help. I had a breakdown of sorts a year after my last baby was born, but knew I had been suffering since before she was born. It took that to make me realise I was no good to man nor beast, especially as I was then wanting to commit suicide.

I am lucky to have a forward thinking health authority, and a Healthy Mind Centre locally, and got lots of help very quickly.

All the OP can do is support and gently try to persuade her friend that their is a problem, but that it is NOT failure and that quality help is available.

I suffered after each of my children, but I would have repeated it all for the joy they have given me.:A

abbecer

I really admire you Forever skint. I have two boys and had depression after both. Me and DH would love more children but he is having snip in September as we as a family could not cope with it again. I'm certain i would succeed in killing myself if i ever got it again.

Rebecca x

ailuro2

Get some leaflets on it and give them to her and ask her to read them- remembering the analogy about not trying to walk with a broken leg without seeking help from the doctor.
I thankfully managed to get to the doctor when I felt bad after having dd- at around 12 weeks after having her.
The gave me a low dosage of Prozac and got me to attend a young mum's group- to make me get out of the house at least once a week to see other people. LEt her know it's just her hormones that are making her feel like this and with a little help from her doctor she will be able to feel much better.It does take the body up to a year to get back to feeling physically normal.

You sound like a good friend- don't offer so much help with the baby, concentrate more on asking what she's like done,ironing,tidying,cleaning out the cupboards.

Of course letting her have a long soak in the bath while you look after the wee one is always a good offer, just be careful not to suggest she might need help 'looking after' the baby as that would likely make her clkam up and go on the defensive.

roversbabe

Thanks for sharing your experience seven day weekend, I've been feeling really guilty about wanting to be ME, not just roversbaby's mum. I also feel guilty when I'm feeling down about life not being rosy, its damned hard work and everyone expects me to be fulfulled and I'm not. Deep down, I know I'm not alone in remembering my child free days wistfully.

I adore my son totally and most days I'm fine and happy. He's 6 weeks old and I'm still getting used to him and having good and bad days in myself - It can be hard on the days that I'm down because I think I'm a lousy mum but DH keeps reassuring me that I'm doing fine.

OP - I would say be there for your friend, providing a caring shoulder, a cup of tea and a reassuring ear can be a godsend.

(((((((HUGS)))))))

rb x

jellyhead

hi roversbaby, after the first 6 weeks it should start to get a bit easier, honest (until the crawling starts, then you start thinking how nice it would be to get a job :rotfl:

swan it was around 25 years ago that my aunt killed herself, not recently, i think doctors are very aware of PND now although it might vary as to what they can offer in terms of talking etc. rather than just the drugs.

abeccer my friend from school was sterilised because her PND was so bad each time and contraception didn't seem to work well for her. she had 3 children and was in hospital each time, in the end they agreed to sterilise her even though she was under 26. the family just couldn't cope any more with her being so ill, her husband had been out of work for years looking after her babies while she was away etc. it's a brave decision, very selfless i think.

this was more than 10 years ago i'm talking about, my school friends had their babies in their teens and theirs are at high school now and some of my school friends are even grannies in their 30's, scary lol! i read something somewhere about using progesterone straight after the birth, to try to balance the hormones a bit, so hopefully there are advances made all the time and PND is now taken more seriously than ever before.

Swan_2

jellyhead wrote:

swan it was around 25 years ago that my aunt killed herself, not recently, i think doctors are very aware of PND now although it might vary as to what they can offer in terms of talking etc. rather than just the drugs.

I've just come back from havng a birthday drink with my firstborn, he's 34 tomrrow, so I'm a bit sozzled ... it's probably more luck than judgement that I survived, but I'm here now, although a bit !!!!!!

jellyhead

he was in my year at school then

sorry, off topic. i don't remember anyone with pnd when i was a kid, perhaps it wasn't talked about. i knew alcoholics though, and people on tranks or sleeping pills. and people whose babies went up for adoption after they couldn't cope. glad things have improved since then!